Etiquette for how long after being given your number that someone should get in touch with you?

[Ladyoftheapple]

As a general rule, would you say if it’s been over 24 hours then they aren’t going to?

my situation is complicated by the fact I came across a parent for the first time ever and we had a conversation and he seemed genuinely pleased to have met me. He asked for my number and also phoned mine to ensure I had his. Anyway, I won’t be contacting him first as I made the initial contact and I feel this should have been for him to do, not his child.

am I right in thinking he’s not going to at this point? At least now I know for sure the kind of person he is and he does not deserve my time

Don't give up just yet, he's probably scared as much as you are. Send him a quick text just saying Hi and see if he responds.

I’d think either of you could message the other.

I wouldn’t put a time limit on it particularly - meeting your father/daughter for the first time will inevitably churn up a lot of emotional and mental stuff. Not everyone is going to need the same amount of time.

It's up to you.

If you want to drop him a breezy text then do it. If you don't then don't

I don't think there's any accepted time frame. Maybe he thought the number was just for emergencies or if he happened to have some free time or needed childcare? It sounds like you're expecting more but he's not necessarily on the same page. Frankly, I'd be cheesed off if I rang someone a couple of days/weeks/months after I'd got their number and they were annoyed because I'd not rung earlier!

P.S. Apologies - I've just read your second post. Why didn't you say 'my dad' instead of 'a parent' in the OP? It makes a big difference!

I would think he has a lot to process so I would give anything from several weeks to 6 months in that scenario.

I wouldn’t hold out hope but don’t close the gates as well. He may need a few weeks to adjust.

Don't feel bad for contacting him, you may always have wondered if you hadn’t contacted him.

And remember, his loss not yours.

I'd give him a longer grace period given it sounds like it was a shock, unplanned meeting?
Obviously you'd hope any parent would be thrilled and want to make up for lost time immediately, but if it came out of the blue and it's been so long, in reality he probably needs some time to get his head around it.
He might want to work out what he'd like to happen next before talking to you, to avoid any further disappointment. Or he might just be a shit who doesn't care.
I hope you're doing ok. That must have been a very emotional and very strange experience.

You’re doing what we did! It’s her dad!

Sorry everyone! Not sure I can edit the post to avoid any confusion but it is about my Dad. I am in my 30s and this was a coincidental first meeting. I just know if it was my child, I would’ve contacted them pretty swiftly afterwards but then I would go to hell and back for my kids and not once has he ever tried to contact my in 30 odd years.

Yes I agree. It’s not how I’d be acting, and I suspect, given his actions hitherto, there’s a realistic chance he may not seek further contact.

But we are all different and they are complicated emotions. He may be working through them.

I hope whatever comes if it is the right outcome for you and I suspect that, either way, it will help you move forward regardless.

@Calliopespa thank you for your kind words ☺️

Well... The sexes are reversed in this humorous song, but I feel obliged to share it with a younger audience:

Enjoy.

So he's still not been in touch? I'm so sorry, you deserve better than him.

I know. I had to add a p.s. If only she'd said 'my dad' instead of 'a parent' in the OP, it would have been so much clearer. How many people refer to their mum or dad as 'a parent'?!

I suppose in fairness OP has only met him once; he probably doesn’t feel like Dad.

But yes, I was quite relieved because until I realised I was pretty alarmed, thinking of all the parents I’ve met at school gates and didn’t reply within 24 hours!