Is it unusual to feel like this?

[Cofcake]

My ex and I broke up a couple of years ago after almost 6 years together... his decision, discarded me suddenly, saying some horrible things.

I took a step back from a mutual group of friends/acquaintances as I didn't want to socialise with him. I continue now to meet a couple of people from the group individually that I was closest to for dinner or drinks.

I'm long over him, I'm very happy in myself now and his name rarely crops up, but I always feel a bit down after meeting these friends and I can't explain why. Maybe it's the connection to ex, I don't know.

Anyone else ever feel like this in a similar situation?

How often do you see them?

Do they continue to be close friends with your ex?

About 3 times a year

I wouldn't say close but yes, still friendly

Presumably they never talk about him?

who instigates the meet ups? Quite honestly for 3x a year I’d either suck it up if you otherwise really enjoy it or just let it fizzle away. 3x a year is so infrequent anyway

Yes, I suppose it's good it's not more often. They wouldn't be close friends but they're nice people and we didn't want to lose touch. We take turns in initiating tbe meet-ups.

I wouldn’t bother for the sake of a couple of times a year op if makes you feel shit afterwards

they don’t talk about your ex do they??!

I would think it is more nostalgia for a time in your life. I look back on exs sometimes and the friend group we were when I was with them and feel sad those happy times have passed. Nothing really to do with the relationship with my ex more the point in time that I miss

Do they see your ex more frequently. Does it stem from the fact that he is still part of the group as it were but you have to do special infrequent meet ups to maintain the connection?

Yes, that's exactly the situation. I can't explain why I feel like this really, maybe it's the nostalgia, as another poster suggested.

No, in fairness, they don't really mention him. One might occasionally. I never do. For some reason, I always feel a bit flat/ less happy afterwards than I would just before I meet them. I do have lots of other friends though.

Yes, that could be it... I don't miss my ex either.