To put my twins into nursery just before they turn 2?

[Spiralfire]

I have 14 month old twin boys. Currently I am a SAHM, and it’s been difficult. They always want to be entertained and they are at the stage where they want to destroy everything haha.

I am trying to get outside everyday and ask for help when I need it, for me time or appointments. This is because I went through a very low period mentally, so I am trying to change. DH works full time and when he’s home he is hands on.

Financially I want to go back to work in Jan, they turn 2 in Feb. I can work 2 days a week whilst they go nursery. It would help us a lot as a household and we can start saving abit again.

I just feel really guilty that they will be too small as they hate new environments and always look for me. I can potentially wait until they’re 3 but things will be very tight, and I could use the “escape”.

Twins sounds monumentally hard. I am sure it will be fine.

I'm a mum of grown up twins and I still remember how hard the toddler years were. Def do it, it'll make all the difference and they'll have each other at nursery.

Definitely do it. Children learn so much at a good nursery.

Do it and don’t look back.

And should you be the South Asian mum referred to in a previous post… you are a free woman…live your best life and give the twins a couple of fun days in the nursery.

My eldest struggled with nursery but was happier at a cm - went from 1yo due to work - then moved to nursery age 3. Dtds went to nursery age 3 and loved it. So long as you visit and choose the right environment for them I’m sure they’ll thrive. (Toddler twins are the hardest - mine are teens now and mostly lovely).

As the main earner and my marriage falling apart I had to go back to work when my twins were 20 weeks - they adapt quickly I promise x

I think it will do you all good. They will be together. You need the break and the money so go for it. It’s not as though they’ll be there full time.

They get to socialise with other kids, play with toys they don’t have at home, learn from other adults. They’ll learn resilience.

Some nursery is never a bad thing.

Kindly, it is April and you are talking about January of next year. Toddlers go through a lot of development between now and then. Look if you can afford to put them in for a morning or a day now you could try it. There is no medal for being a sahm because I was one and my children are now adults. Twins is even harder.

At the moment this is all they know because they haven't been in a nursery. They may absolutely love it. Ds1 went to nursery at 11 months old and I went back to work 2 1/2 days a week. I became a sahm later and kept him in nursery for 1 day because he loved it, loved his friends and Dh would take him and collect him so that was their thing together. I got a day to myself which was bliss.

You will feel guilty over everything as a Mum, it just makes you a good Mum because it is natural to worry. It seems such a huge thing when you are in the moment, ie when they are meant to be rolling over and you are waiting for it to happen, when will they crawl or walk? Now look back and it doesn't seem as big as what you are going through now.

You are also a person, not just a Mum. Do what works for you and your family.

Definitely do it OP.

Mine went in at almost 9 months and they were doing more within a month than I'd have been able to do (i.e. sitting up on cushion seats) cos I wasn't able to manage it all on my own. They were great and never had wobbles going in and I think it's cos they had each other. Even though they used to pretty much ignore each other they knew they were there. They're still like that years later, don't play with each other in afterschool but if I walk in and ask one where the other is they point over straight away so the awareness is always there.

Being a twin mam is so so hard and you have to look after yourself so be the best you can for them. The guilt will eat you up but I don't think guilt as a mam ever stops.

Do it.

My twins were in nursery from 8 months. Never looked back. They're teens now, don't even remember it.

Also I never ever had guilt about it. My life matters as well as theirs.

My twins were very happy in nursery and because they had each other it made the transition easier. They will be fine!

Your twins will be glad of nursery, I can tell you

Everyone I know went back to work when their maternity leave was up so babies were around a year old. Perfectly normal time to start nursery - don’t know why you’re even worried about it! All my boys loved nursery and i personally think it’s easier to start around this age rather than older when they are more aware!

My twins started nursery at 11 months and loved it (they’re 7 now). If I could go back in time I’d have actually put them in a month earlier and had 2 days a week to myself before going back to work!! Twins at that age are SUCH hard work, and by far the toddler years with two the same age were the hardest. I promise you - it really does get easier!! But remember, you matter too.

Just do it. None of mine even remember nursery. They did enjoy it at the time. Seriously stop the guilt.

At 2 they'll need to start making friends and also don't worry at all they won't be scared they'll have each other

My baby is 8 months old but my best friend has a 2 year old. YOU MUST ABSOLUTELY PUT THEM IN NURSERY. 2 year olds have an INSANE amount of energy, which they need to burn off. Seriously, you will go absolutely batshit if you don't. It's for their own good too, they need so much stimulation and exercise.

I also remember one of my nieces when she was 2 and I went with her and her mum to the park. Kid walked 2 kilometers and wasn't even tired. Literally, had not broken a sweat yet. I was 16 and it was my first time around a young child, I was shocked!