To have had a fight over him criticising my job search?

[LaurenBacalls]

I’ve been unemployed for nearly 2 months, and an additional 1 month on garden leave. So 3 months in total searching for a job.

I’ve had 3 interviews: one job I didn’t get, the other I was through to second stage then heard nothing and third was yesterday. I apply for a lot but every day receive rejections.

Today I received a call from a recruiter with a project management role for £50k, remote 4 days a week and 1 day in office. When I talked to my partner about it he said well, 50k isn’t great. He’s on 40k!! So a big fight commenced. When we met I was on 30k and with his encouragement moved to 40k. I said is nothing ever enough for you?? He then said he just knows I’m worth more and won’t lie about what he thinks.

Being unemployed has hit me hard, especially as I am also going through bereavement. In a way I feel like I’m disappearing from society, as I have to keep turning down social occasions. I don’t feel like myself and I need his support.

What were you on in your last role? (I've read your posts but didn't see it, apols if I missed it).

Taking a 50k job, in the circumstances where it's the only one offered, is better than nothing. If it pays the bills and let's you live, take it. It sounds like being unemployed is beginning to have am impact on your mental health.
No one is saying you have to stay in that role, keep looking if you want - also, maybe there's opportunities in that role to grow too.

Cross Post: This is a 25% increase on your previous salary - that's excellent 👏 I thought it was a 50% drop from his reaction.

What sort of salaries were the 3 jobs you’ve had interviews for so far?

I think he had some cheek to say 50k isn't enough for you when he's stuck in a lower paying role.
If he wants more household income, he should get another job

Take the job, and best of luck with it!!
Project management roles can really expand your earning potential.

That’s unsupportive and weird of him.

A £50k actual job is better than a £70k theoretical one.
If you want the job, go for it. I wouldn't be criticising the salary either, you are not negotiating from a position of strength.
Good luck!

It’s an imaginary £50k as you haven’t got the job yet, you earn more than him AND £50k is more than you’re bringing in now.

I understand he feels you’re worth more. You probably are. But you need a job and this is a job. Tell him to fucking do one.

From my reading OP has been offered the job, but when she told her DP he told her it wasn't good enough.

@LaurenBacalls I have no doubt you're worth more, we probably all are! But in this scenario a job is a job.

10k more than you were on before, AND mostly WFH? Sounds excellent to me OP, go for it!

His comment is odd. Do you think he prefers you bring unemployed and at home?

To me £50 is a huge salary, I’m on just over half of that and I consider even mine to be a very good salary. Get the job you want, you don’t need him to tell you what to do. He’s only a man.

Without knowing the tone and context, he could just have meant it's a low salary for that role. Or that he thought you were able to expect more. It's not necessarily a negative comment, just not helpful after everything you have been through.

£50k is better than £0k surely?

If it was a buoyant market and you'd only started looking, maybe yeah hold out for more , but not in the circumstances you describe.

Project management jobs don’t pay what they used to because many companies have moved to new ways of doing things where they think they don’t need them, so the market is saturated right now.
£50k is good for a PM role unless you’re in Central London.

If he thinks £50k isn’t a good salary then maybe he should change role and earn more. I would say that to him as well. He’s a teacher - how is he somehow an expert on the going rate for a project manager?

He sounds odd and unsupportive.

Is he one of those people who just endlessly nitpicks and criticises for the sake of it to feel superior?

(And has some "logical" argument about why they're actually being helpful, even when their "logic" doesn't make any sense at all and they're hardly amazingly successful themselves).

I feel a lot better in my life when I don't have any people like that around.

So, the potential new job would pay you some 10 percent more than you earned in your last role, and is more than he earns too?
He is either jealous or a nit-picking twat.
Go for the job -- why wouldn't you? The longer you are out of work the worse it looks.
And I hope you get it -- good luck.

Yeah, we make nothing close to that between us. Even if it was lower, is it not better to be in work getting paid than not??

I agree with this. He was criticising the salary, not the OP.

Pps advising divorce though - as usual 🙄

The average for the role here is £49k so it’s better really.

he probably meant to be complimentary ‘you’re worth so much’ - but when I’m busting a gut to find a job and it’s taking a toll, yeah it’s not what I want to hear.

How did he say it? Like raining on your parade or genuinely think the role was low balling you for the skillset and experience they wanted?

I was not there so only you know but it could have been his way of telling you not to undersell yourself.

@JHound i don’t think it could sound any other way but raining on my parade when I was talking about it with excitement.

He might not have meant it that way but I would have appreciated support in that moment. We’ve kissed and made up now but it’s not great to know he feels this way.

apparently they are looking to fill the role asap and I had a good chat with the recruiter so we will see what happens now.

I hope you get it. You can always go for 80K next time 🙂

I don’t understand if you’ve been on 40k previously what does he expect your salary will be now? 50k is a good salary. I could understand somewhat if you were on 80 and dropping down but this is an increase?