Me and “partner” have been together for 12 years.
The first few years we were extremely happy and in love.
Since DP reconnected with his half brother about 9 years ago he has completely changed.
I actually think the dynamics of the relationship is borderline obsession.
Before we had children all his brother would have to do is call him and DP would drop everything to meet him.
Every weekend he was out with his brother.
I felt completely sidelined and anytime I mentioned this to him I was “jealous” and a “hater”.
Anytime we had plans they would be cancelled in favour for his brother.
We now have twins and even now all he does is complain about not spending time with his brother.
His brother is a low level MC and in DP’s head his brother is famous etc.
To be honest his brother is a real scum bag, he lived rent free with this woman with whom he had a child with and was with for years and saved all his money to purchase his own house.
Was cheating on this woman the whole time and had twins with another woman.
He really is an awful person, had kids with multiple women, does drugs with his older kids etc.
DP waa raised by his single mother and sisters and he used to have a lot of respect for women, now all he does is inflict his outdated sexist opinions on me.
Such as a woman’s job is to “stay at home to cook, clean and look after the kids”.
Even now I do not get any time away for myself, I am constantly looking after the children.
Whilst DP does give me money he barely does any parenting and is extremely selfish.
It’s like if I have plans for myself away from the kids they will get cancelled because DP is seeing his brother and it will be dropped on me last minute.
Now I have packed his bags and told him to get out my house and to only contact me when he wants to start putting his kids first.
It’s like DP is brainwashed and whatever his brother says he does.
His brother was even complaining about “wanting his brother back” after the birth of the kids as in his mind the woman is supposed to do everything.
Surely when you have children you your kids first? In both their eyes the woman should do everything and they get to do what they want.
I have now blocked DP/Ex or whatever as all he was doing is making me miserable with his constant complaining about not seeing his awful brother.
At Easter he told me “I would always celebrate Easter with my brother as we would be together going to his raves, I really miss that and I’m sad it’s changed”.
They never spend any time together as his brother is always busy with multiple children who are everywhere, it’s only when he has a rave he will want DP to drive him/keep him company on the drives.
Other than that his brother won’t come to our house or see his nieces and nephews, it’s all very one sided, only when it benefits him.
I am ready to change the locks and move on completely as I have been extremely unhappy for years.
AIBU?