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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Extra sensory perception

14 replies

Extrasensing · 24/04/2025 02:48

This has never happened to me before or since.

I connected with someone on a dating website. This person lives overseas.
we had a strong connection and after some weeks began discussing meeting up. I decided to delay that as I had hurt my leg and wanted to recover first.

He made light hearted funny jokes about whether I was real, we were strongly attracted to each other’s photos and there was heavy flirting and flurries of texts and audio messages throughout the day. We were both giddy and intensely focused on each other. I asked him to wait a month until I had recovered.

One day, I came home, and as the evening arrived, I drew the curtains in my living room and sat there to watch the television.

For some reason, I felt restless and uneasy, like I wanted to draw my blanket around myself tip to toe.

And then I felt an impulse and compulsion to make sure the curtains were fully closed and there were no little gaps that would allow my living room to be visible to the street. I got up and down and checked this several times, even though they were properly closed.

I was unsettled and thought I must be suffering a case of inexplicable anxiety or OCD or something, I thought I must be coming down with something and should take it easy.

I got up once more to check the curtains, I thought I must be suffering an episode of mental illness although this had never happened to me before.

On this occasion, I opened them and looked onto the street, I just felt a compulsion, like there was some event happening out there, I wondered if I’d heard a noise that hadn’t registered with me.

When I looked out, there he was, standing across the street and looking intently up into my window. When he saw me observing him, he looked down and quickly walked away.

I am quite astonished at these series of events.

Has anything like this happened to you, the weird sensing, it’s really baffling. I can’t explain the feeling.

Can someone explain or had similar happen?

OP posts:
JustJoinedRightNow · 24/04/2025 02:57

So did you confront him about it?

MissSmiley · 24/04/2025 04:41

Who was it? The man you had been messaging?

GarlicSmile · 24/04/2025 05:01

He made some noise to bring your attention to the window.

He's a stalker.

MumInBrussels · 24/04/2025 05:05

A guy you'd only met online and had explicitly said you wanted to delay meeting in person, who apparently lives abroad, turns up at your house and your big issue with feeling creeped out?

Have you asked him what the fuck he was doing outside your house?

NeilDiamondsBlowDry · 24/04/2025 05:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Extrasensing · 24/04/2025 05:59

I stopped all contact and blocked him.
The next day was a Sunday and I was so freaked out I didn’t come out of my flat.
The next day I had to come out for cigs. When I joined the checkout line at Morrisons I saw him at a checkout several lanes over and he was staring at me fixedly. He looked incredible in person, much better than FaceTime would suggest. I pretended I didn’t see him and quickly left, he did not follow me, I haven’t seen him since. I know he would have to get back to his demanding.

He could not have made a noise as I was on the third floor behind double glazing, he was across a large road that is a particularly busy bus and vans route. I could clearly see that he was empty handed even had he whistled or shouted I would not have hear it. Plus he did not want me to know he was there, both times he quickly looked away and left when I saw him.

OP posts:
merrymelody · 24/04/2025 06:02

That’s very disturbing. How on earth did he know where you live? Or did you tell him?

Tenofcups · 24/04/2025 06:39

to answer the issue of sensing something or someone I think we have an inbuilt danger detector. I was once home alone and felt like someone was going to break into the house. Checked all doors and windows, went to bed. Nothing happened but I saw on FB the next morning that 5 houses in the next road had been burgled.

re the guy, is he still chatting online to you? If so I would tell him you’re not interested and block him.

Extrasensing · 24/04/2025 06:39

merrymelody · 24/04/2025 06:02

That’s very disturbing. How on earth did he know where you live? Or did you tell him?

He asked if he could send me flowers, he sent a beautiful bouquet with vase and all and it really made me happy every time I looked at them.
He seemed perfectly normal and handsome, he has a very responsible public facing job where he has to be vetted and trusted.

In hindsight, he told me he did a course to become a close protection bodyguard and passed everything with flying colours except to hand to hand combat part, the psychologist who was watching and assessing failed him on that part, she said he was too aggressive and he should be avoiding violence. He was very annoyed and said she must have taken a personal dislike to him, he failed the course.

Again in hindsight, I think the psychologist must have discovered he was not right in the head somehow, I would guess a personality disorder!, maybe even comorbid.

OP posts:
LividRah · 24/04/2025 06:43

Come on now.

(if this is real) red flag after red flag from him.

And your focus is ESP?? You would have had clues he was watching.

And why on earth aren’t you telling us what happened ie you phoned the police?

menopausalmare · 24/04/2025 06:46

Sounds like he's shaping up to be a romance scammer. ESP aside, think what information you've given him about yourself and realise that his behaviour is creepy.

Agix · 24/04/2025 06:46

You may need to tell the police. Not that they'd do anything right now, but just give them a heads up. Stalking can get really dangerous.

KimberleyClark · 24/04/2025 07:23

menopausalmare · 24/04/2025 06:46

Sounds like he's shaping up to be a romance scammer. ESP aside, think what information you've given him about yourself and realise that his behaviour is creepy.

Exactly this. All that stuff about doing a bodyguard course was probably lies, it’s a classic ploy to tell your target you’re some kind of spy. And do you have any proof that he actually lives overseas? Please don’t be so cavalier about sharing your address in future. You’ve basically given it to a complete stranger.

Giggorata · 24/04/2025 08:15

The issue is that feelings like this, whether woo or unconscious perceptions, arise for a reason, usually due to dangerous situations or people.

And this man is shaping up to be a predatory fantasist stalker.
He probably mirrored you in your online discussions, so that it felt like compatibility and intimacy, wormed your address out of you, and here he is, appearing in your life, ignoring your first boundary.

i highly doubt that he lives abroad and the bodyguard training sounds like a pack of lies, although it is likely that he has had (had to have) some kind of psychological assessment that says he is aggressive.
And the fact that he tells you that is weird, why would you disclose that to a potential partner? Unless it is a veiled warning that he has the potential to become aggressive if thwarted…

He will likely pop up soon and tell you that he couldn't keep away because you clicked so well, or some such, and try and push his way into your life.

I agree about telling the police and please be very careful from now on about walking anywhere alone, answering the door, where you park the car, etc.
It sounds a bit over the top, but it could save you from a load of trouble, or even save your life.
Creepy as fuck.

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