Feeling free from former friend!

[DoNoTakeNo]

For about 10 years I had an online friend; we were both in a particular situation & were able to provide support & eventually friendship, messaging a few times a day most days.
She started to become pretty manipulative & sometimes hard to handle, but I persevered. I’m no saint but thought we had a pretty even relationship, all told.
Long story short; she was very abusive to me on multiple occasions over about 6 weeks.
So after one outburst I just stopped messaging her about a month ago.
Oh my days it is a brilliant feeling - I have so much more time to myself, the mental load is gone, I’m not anxious about what is going to be in my inbox each day!
Inevitably, being a people pleaser by upbringing, I’m drawn towards feeling guilty for doing this. But on the other hand the benefit my own mental health is surprisingly large.
So AIBU to think that friendships can become toxic & we should end them when that happens?

NBU at all - twice I have had to end friendships, both because the person was so self-involved and take-take-take, it was wearing and unfair. I don't miss either of them to be honest and rarely think about them. I think it's a gift knowing when and where to draw the line.

YANBU at all.
I ended a friendship 8 years ago now and I haven't regretted it for a single moment. She made me feel absolutely terrible and I would dread seeing her. It took me FAR too long to come to the realisation that I didn't need to continue the friendship and it was fine to ditch her. We didnt have a massive row or anything. I just stopped replying gradually and let it drift. She actually did message me about 4 years ago apologising for being such a shit friend. I left it on read.

Yanbu and I'm pleased for your freedom xx

I'm the same, a people pleaser

Met a lovely woman but I need a fresh start away from the past and she lives in the place I've just escaped 🥺

I need to politely do the same

YANBU whatsoever. I had a 20 year old friendship and throughout that entire time, all I’ve had is to be trauma dumped on. I took 20 years of it but no more. All I ever asked was to go out like real friends to a pub, local day out etc as I have no one else and that never happened, always met with excuses. Them recently I found out she regularly goes to do such things with other friends included a short trip abroad also with an old school friend she’d recently reconnected with. I’ve welcomed this friend at all odd hours into my home whenever she’s needed advice/someone to lean on though I sometimes get told off if I dare intervene with a reference to myself! Anyway, ended it end last year and though I technically have no friends at all now, it does feel good to know I, no longer being taken for a fool and never ever have to see or help her again!

I would have no guilt at all about cutting contact with someone who was abusive towards me. A friend doesn't behave like that. A friend is someone who cares about you - not someone who is abusive to you. There's nothing wrong with valuing your own wellbeing and not wanting negative people in your life.

Wow, thank you all - it’s a relief to be vindicated! And also sad that others end up in such a situation of “abusive friendship” too.
PPs comments make me think that there must be a read-across from romantic relationships here; the intrusive or insulting pattern of behaviour, the script, the demands and so on.
Meanwhile, we will not allow
ourselves to be taken for fools, freedom is fabulous!