To ask you how go about becoming friendly with someone?

[Ankleblisters]

I chatted briefly with a neighbour today (not especially nearby) over gardening.

I'm quite awkward and socially inept, partly through lack of practice. I have been painfully isolated for a really long time but I really enjoyed speaking to her and would like to chat again.

How would you advise doing this without making a fool of myself? I'm not interested in getting super close or becoming bosom buddies or anything, just making a friendly connection and having someone in my own age bracket to occasionally have a friendly chat or maybe even a cup of tea with. But I'm rubbish at this stuff and have had a lot of bad experiences which are making me feel anxious and tempted not to even bother trying.

I tend to over-chat / babble and worry a lot about becoming one of those people you feel you'll never get away from once they get going.

Any thoughts?

Hey neighbour, I see you've been at this gardening lark far longer than me, could I pick your brain on XYZ.... would it be OK to have a chat about it? pop over/would you like to pop over for a cup of tea?

Asking someone a favour, or asking them to impart knowledge generally helps with breaking barriers and people become more receptive...
Maybe start like that and move to garden centre trips etc

My advice would be to smile like you are pleased to see them, be positive (no moaning about the weather) and as a previous poster said ask them something about their garden .
Generally we like people who appear to like us.

And if you know you are a babbler , try to hold back a bit ( easy to say!) But people like it when you show interest in them not when you talk constantly to fill the gaps. So lots of open questions

Come over for a cup.of tea, neighbour! Or
here are some cookies I baked.

Invite her over for some advice on what to do with a certain area of your garden- just knock on the door and say "Hi X, would you mind popping over at the weekend so I can get some advice on what to do with the flower bed/lawn/pond?" Offer to bake a cake or simply leave it at that, and when she turns up put the kettle on and make it a tea and chat opportunity.

Haven’t you a plant that you just can’t quite identify and would appreciate her ideas on? This may be one in your garden, or if you haven’t quite got the confidence to invite her in to your garden yet, one you’ve bought in a pot and lost the label in transit.

Ask them questions, then let them speak. When they stop speaking and there's a moment of silence, say something else

Try and get a balance of you both speaking.

Try and find other interests in common, along with gardening

Don’t overthink it, and don’t let past experiences cloud present or future experiences. Either knock on their door, or if you don’t feel confident, put a note through the door, “Hi neighbour, it was really nice chatting to you the other day. Do you fancy coming over for a cup of tea one afternoon? Either knock on my door or send me a message - here is my number …”