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Original poster

Terrified at going to work after being SAHM

11 replies

Wisteriamouse · 23/04/2025 14:42

Due to start in a fortnight, in a new to me role after 12 years off with my youngest & last who’s today upped from 2 to 4 days a week at preschool. It made sense as I won’t be needed during school hours for those 4 days but I’ve ended up with a job I’m going to have to do over these days meaning no ‘me time’ now.
im shitting it as I’ve not used technology (apart from my phone!) for so long nor had to rely on childcare, book holiday off, account for my time.
I don’t even know what smart casual means anymore in the office, and the only clothes are know that fit me are my gym leggings and mom jeans that I live in.
I’ve no enthusiasm for it to be honest; but feel I should be working, and the money will be helpful I guess but we dont want for anything as I’ve been used to living super organised (and rather frugally) for the last decade.

I can’t quit before I’ve begun and I know im probably being unreasonable but how can I change my mindset and begin to be excited instead? Emotionally I’m all over the place (suspected peri as am 43)

OP posts:
Panicmode1 · 23/04/2025 14:46

I am sure that you will be fine (I was a SAHM for 10 years before returning) - and the worst bit is the worrying about starting, not the actual starting.

Good luck, and really well done for getting a job in a tough market!

ravenclaworslytherin · 23/04/2025 14:49

I'm sure once you are there and settled in the job you will enjoy it. I was a sahm for 7 years and it was definitely hard going back to work but I do enjoy being me again and not just my kids mum.

Good luck

redphonecase · 23/04/2025 14:50

It'll be fine but have you had the chat with your partner about how he's going to have to take on more at home?

mumonthehill · 23/04/2025 14:51

Well you got the job so they think you can do it!! Remember every thing is online so you can google how to join a teams meeting, how to use excel. If you are going to be using these have a look now. You will learn quickly when you do it every day. With clothes just start off simple and basic until you know what others wear. Some simple black trousers and shirt, just pop to the supermarket they will have lots of choice. You can then build it from there. Do not worry and be confident, ask questions they know you have to learn. You will get into a routine at home but may take time, easy food for the first couple of weeks, get food delivered and make sure the rest of the family pull their weight. Good luck!

pimplebum · 23/04/2025 14:52

Oh it’s shit isn’t it ? When I feel like this I just imagine myself as a character from a rom com , you know the start of the film where they are in a hole, all miserable off to work for a shit boss …. Pretend that Hugh grant / Colin Farrell is your boss ….

but that’s just me , a bit of fantasy to get through the day , focus on how lucky you are to have been able to have such a long time off ( I had a 6 weeks mat leave due to finances )

work wear us a lot more casual these days , I would wear what ever you wore for the interview for first week , then treat yourself to some new clothes based on what is acceptable there.

you are very lucky to have a job , and you even have the privilege of thinking of jacking it in , most people you meet won’t have that

maybe bake some cakes / tray bake for your first day that should sweeten things and make a positive first impression ? Most staff rooms I know would appreciate that

Original poster
Wisteriamouse · 23/04/2025 15:21

redphonecase · 23/04/2025 14:50

It'll be fine but have you had the chat with your partner about how he's going to have to take on more at home?

Yes and actually he’s been great so far and said whilst not encouraging me to quit it’s always an option for me. We’ve split the school runs between us and he’s going to take a day off each week for holidays so the youngest won’t have to go to holiday club so much. He’s self employed and has a lot of flexibility but equally if he doesn’t do the work we don’t get the £££! I think that’s what I worry about too-is the added pressure on him but he says it’s all fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wisteriamouse · 23/04/2025 15:22

pimplebum · 23/04/2025 14:52

Oh it’s shit isn’t it ? When I feel like this I just imagine myself as a character from a rom com , you know the start of the film where they are in a hole, all miserable off to work for a shit boss …. Pretend that Hugh grant / Colin Farrell is your boss ….

but that’s just me , a bit of fantasy to get through the day , focus on how lucky you are to have been able to have such a long time off ( I had a 6 weeks mat leave due to finances )

work wear us a lot more casual these days , I would wear what ever you wore for the interview for first week , then treat yourself to some new clothes based on what is acceptable there.

you are very lucky to have a job , and you even have the privilege of thinking of jacking it in , most people you meet won’t have that

maybe bake some cakes / tray bake for your first day that should sweeten things and make a positive first impression ? Most staff rooms I know would appreciate that

You’re right it is a privilege and also I’m quite good at baking having perfected it for the school PTA’s etc!

OP posts:
LeaveTaking · 23/04/2025 15:27

Not really sure what you’re hoping for from
this thread. You are in an incredibly privileged position, I know very few SAHMs nowadays. Even less parents who get ‘me time’.

To help with the actual starting of the job, you could ask what the induction will be like to help get an understanding of what the first few weeks might entail?

Original poster
Wisteriamouse · 23/04/2025 18:50

LeaveTaking · 23/04/2025 15:27

Not really sure what you’re hoping for from
this thread. You are in an incredibly privileged position, I know very few SAHMs nowadays. Even less parents who get ‘me time’.

To help with the actual starting of the job, you could ask what the induction will be like to help get an understanding of what the first few weeks might entail?

Hoping to hear from people who have been in similar situation as above, and who can share tips and ideas like I’ve had above.
good idea to ask about the induction process so I know a bit more of what to expect, and hopefully can prepare by googling like pp suggested.
ive been very fortunate but I did future plan wisely as knew I wanted to be ‘home’ with the kids. I just didn’t plan/expect to go back to work when I made those plans years ago; but it’s funny how I’ve become almost guilty for not working/contributing socially.

OP posts:
LeaveTaking · 23/04/2025 19:13

You can contribute to society without working. Volunteering for example.

calmingpompoms · 23/04/2025 19:42

Good luck! I’m in the same boat about going back but haven’t been looking for a job yet tbh! Let us know how you get on.

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