to be a bit frustrated at ex partners parents smoking infront of my kids?

[Freddie15VES]

my exs dad smokes (and smokes weed but that’s another story) as my ex lives with his parents now my kids go round there to see their dad as he doesn’t have his own place yet

i have politely said i dont want him smoking around my children. and there have been a couple of occasions where i know he has but haven’t had proof eg clothes really smelling etc

then this morning my little boy told me that grandad smokes ‘like this’ and did the action with a piece of lego. he then said he ‘smokes inside in his chair when it’s windy’

would i be completely unreasonable to bring this up with them?! it’s going to create an argument especially with their dad and probably their grandad but i feel like i need to stand firm on this but would i be a nob to be saying something?!

Not unreasonable no, as long as you ask nicely.

I would start with a polite request.

You've already politely requested and it's been ignored 🙁 realistically there's not much you can do except repeat the request. Unfortunately, it's their home and they can do what they like in it. Even if they don't smoke inside when the children are there, if they smoke in the house the rest of the time, your children's clothes and hair will still smell of it.

I’ve voted yabu, only because although I agree with you that it’s vile, if you’ve already asked politely and it’s been ignored then I don’t think asking again will help at all.
unfortunately you don’t get any input with what happens when you're not there if they’re with the other parent.

I would want to withdraw visits over this.

however, I know if it went to court I would lose. The law does nothing to protect children from smoking.

I wouldn't like it but I don't think you can do anything about them smoking of cigarettes in their own home even if your children are there.