Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wanting to leave DH over sexless marriage

15 replies

Raynaodld · 23/04/2025 12:51

DH and I have 2 kids, 2 businesses. So I understand why sex would be off the cards. But I’m a very sexual person and I can’t even remember the last time we did it. He always makes excuses: tired, hasn’t showered etc. in fact, he had given up personal hygiene completely and always stinks. We’re on vacation and I’ve found myself gawking at our neighbour in the next door hut. I talk to him often and I worry it’s developing into a crush. I get more excited to talk to him than my husband. I never would find men this attractive to the point where I want to bump into them. I feel like scum. A girl has needs and they are not being met. I used to feel like it was my fault. My DH would always make comments on my weight and make fun of me. By an act of god, I got a stomach ulcer which helped me lose tons of weight and I’m skinny and attractive again. I just don’t feel it when I’m with him. We are also in our 20s so I feel like we’re so young to throw in the sex towel. Unless we have an argument we never have sex (he likes it when things are heated for some reason) & we no longer share the same room because he doesn’t like our baby crying. Now that I’ve gone without, I realise sex with him is dead anyways. He wants but doesn’t give, does everything horribly wrong and it just isn’t passionate. Now that we aren’t doing it at all I can’t help but to crave more. Should I end things with my husband as it isn’t fair on him that I feel this way and it’s not fair on me I cant be intimate with no one.

OP posts:
ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 12:59

Your husband has given up on personal hygiene, never wants sex and has a history of mocking your body and weight? And when you do have sex he’s terrible at it? And you’re only in your TWENTIES?

What on earth are doing with this awful man? He sounds revolting. Don’t waste your best years on this relationship.

FortyElephants · 23/04/2025 13:00

Of COURSE you should end things with the smelly, mean, lazy crap lover. You're young, you have your whole life ahead to have amazing sex!

HermioneWeasley · 23/04/2025 13:03

First few posts nail it. Go and live your best life full of great sex

Firsttimemummyworries · 23/04/2025 13:04

Get rid! You’re in your prime. Be with someone who appreciates that

lazycats · 23/04/2025 13:04

So much going on here. Why the lack of hygiene? Is he depressed?

Pigeonqueen · 23/04/2025 13:06

ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 12:59

Your husband has given up on personal hygiene, never wants sex and has a history of mocking your body and weight? And when you do have sex he’s terrible at it? And you’re only in your TWENTIES?

What on earth are doing with this awful man? He sounds revolting. Don’t waste your best years on this relationship.

Edited

This.

2 kids, married and 2 businesses in your 20s?!! Wow. I’m assuming the kids are very young.. just leave. It’s easier to leave when they’re young.

Happywithamillion · 23/04/2025 13:06

I want to hear more about the neighbour 😂

Raynaodld · 23/04/2025 13:08

Pigeonqueen · 23/04/2025 13:06

This.

2 kids, married and 2 businesses in your 20s?!! Wow. I’m assuming the kids are very young.. just leave. It’s easier to leave when they’re young.

They are.

OP posts:
PenelopeJane91 · 23/04/2025 13:08

Is he depressed? Is there something else going on here? There are no excuses for his appalling behaviour towards you. It just seems so out of the norm for someone in their 20s!

When you discuss this with him, how does he react? Does he have any interest in changing?

Raynaodld · 23/04/2025 13:09

Happywithamillion · 23/04/2025 13:06

I want to hear more about the neighbour 😂

He looks like he looks after himself. His in shape (my husband eats ice cream for breakfast and McDonald’s at 2 am), friendly. He began making conversation with me and I started feeling really attracted to him. It’s unusual because I only ever had eyes for my husband. But his not who I met.

OP posts:
OurDreamLife · 23/04/2025 13:10

You should dump his stinky arse for the personal hygiene alone.

Mrsttcno1 · 23/04/2025 13:11

Walk away before you end up being the one who had an affair.

Dweetfidilove · 23/04/2025 13:13

ItGhoul · 23/04/2025 12:59

Your husband has given up on personal hygiene, never wants sex and has a history of mocking your body and weight? And when you do have sex he’s terrible at it? And you’re only in your TWENTIES?

What on earth are doing with this awful man? He sounds revolting. Don’t waste your best years on this relationship.

Edited

👏🏾👏🏾

Raynaodld · 23/04/2025 13:17

PenelopeJane91 · 23/04/2025 13:08

Is he depressed? Is there something else going on here? There are no excuses for his appalling behaviour towards you. It just seems so out of the norm for someone in their 20s!

When you discuss this with him, how does he react? Does he have any interest in changing?

I told him and we walked out. He said he doesn’t know what’s wrong. He might watch a lot of the ol hub. But it’s not fair. I don’t get my needs met.

OP posts:
Redfloralduvet · 23/04/2025 13:17

Unless we have an argument we never have sex (he likes it when things are heated for some reason)

Glaring red flag. I'd be concerned sex is power, to him. He wants it when you don't, when you've argued, most women don't want to have sex with someone they've argued with only with people they feel loving towards. The rest of the time he withholds it.

Also going on about your weight is terrible. So is his lack of personal hygiene.

LTB and start questioning why you've stayed with him as long as you have. Raise your standards for men.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page