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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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6 replies

salvadoxoxoo · 23/04/2025 11:33

I have another thread live on here, but the thread has mainly been full of posts correcting my grammar as the post was composed in a rush.

Anyway I spoke to DH last night about how I feel and how his best friend has over charged .

Friend put up a curtain pole and by completed some work on the skirting boards.

I had 3 wardrobes, 2 curtains poles and a chest of drawers assembled by an handyman all for £160 a few weeks ago so obviously the friend has over charged us.

We have always helped this friend out.

Years ago friend would come out with no money and me and DH would buy his food/drinks.

I would cook him meals when he had no money to purchase food.

DH is always lending him money/ gifting him things.

Friend wanted £150 to put up a curtain rail and for completing some work on skirting boards in the hallway.

DH feels exactly the same.

It turns out now that DH LENT him money a few weeks ago and hasn’t been paid back.

I was the one who paid for the work to be completed and if I had been made aware of this I would have deducted this from the final balance before I paid his friend.

DH wants to distance himself from his friend (so do I) but DH is godfather to his two kids.

Every Christmas and birthdays we have to buy presents for about 8 of his step/ children and it adds up, I have told DH that considering his friend obviously doesn’t see us as family I think it’s about time to stop buying them presents as well as it’s very costly and we have our own kids to buy for on top.

His friend even had the cheek to ask if could have look after the kids whilst his finance gives birth as they have nobody else to ask.

DH wants to withdraw from being godfather as he wasn’t aware how much the handyman charged me when he assembled the furniture a few weeks ago as he was at work and I’m the one who paid him.

Also this friend is godfather to one of our children as well who is being christened in June and the more I think about it the more I don’t think it’s right so we want to withdraw on that and ask DH’s brother who was our first choice but because he has a lot of his own kids we assumed he would be to busy but he said “of course he would”.

AIBU?

OP posts:
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 23/04/2025 15:35

At £160 for all that work I think you should ask the handyman to be Godfather.

JanSix · 23/04/2025 15:40

Honestly, what I’m getting here is chiefly that you are married to a total sap with terrible taste in friends. Also, there’s a reason why professional/trade services and friendships are better off not mixing. Did you agree the price of £150 for the specific job in advance? Did you not think that was steep?

MoreChocPls · 23/04/2025 15:42

He’s such a cf!

pimplebum · 23/04/2025 15:47

You both agree “ friend” is a big cF

now what ?
id scale back massively gifts to kids ( does he give to yours ? )
no more handy man jobs
ask him to pay back what he owes
stop propping him up

MounjarNo · 23/04/2025 15:51

Every Christmas and birthdays we have to buy presents for about 8 of his step/ children and it adds up

You don't have to. You choose to.

Stop doing this immediately.

DazedAndConfused321 · 23/04/2025 15:51

You both have 'mug' written on your foreheads. Forget who owes what, stop spending time with someone like that, you've literally been his personal doormat!

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