To think that “How’s your day?” is the most annoying question?

[ThatQuirkyJoker]

I know people mean well but I find “How’s your day?” to be one of the most irritating, pointless questions. If something exciting happened, I’d probably mention it anyway. If it was a boring or bad day, I don’t really want to go into it. And half the time, it just feels like filler conversation - like the person is asking out of habit rather than actually caring about the answer.

I’d much rather someone ask something specific or just get to the point. AIBU to find this question unbearable or is it just a normal part of social interaction that I need to get over?

@BoredZelda you are obviously one of life’s lovely people

Agree
It is amazing what some people so upset about nhese days
Is it really that big a problem for OP

As a home shopping delivery driver this is one of my go to questions rather than just standing there waiting 🤣

That, or it's a lovely day today isn't it? Or occasionally, are you up to much today?

Sometimes people just give one word answers, don't bother to ask you back and once I got told to stop being so cheerful! That's all ok and I just leave them to it, it's no bother to me. The majority of the time you have a bit of idle chit chat and then I'm on my way as they have their shopping.

It's just being pleasant.

your are correct they don't

It’s a greeting more than anything. That said, I’m known for being honest. “It’s been a bit shit, to be fair. Yours?”

It's always been this way. Being blandly nice and responding blandly in kind is just a low level social glue type thing. It's not deeply meaningful, but that's OK. I respond honestly or not depending on the whim of my day.

Yeah that's a lot better!

I ask my partner this almost every day, and I genuinely want to hear about their day all the people and things that annoyed them, all the silly thoughts they had that day, all their ideas. It's one of my favourite parts of the day.

If it's a servive provider or someone I don't know - I really wish they wouldn't. It feels so false and American. I'd much prefer a warm and welcome ' hi, how can I help '. That's all I want and then silence is fine.

With people I know I tend to tell the truth - and the truth is pretty hideous as I have horrible illnesses and can't go out much. But I make sure to try spin it with some positivity or something else so it isn't continually depressing and misery inducing. 🤷😆

Yep! I mean I’ve probably done about 50 things since I’ve last seen you but you asking me “what have you been up to” makes me reply, not much, you?

Imo asking your partner how their day went / is going is not the same as what OP is talking about

Yes I prefer "how's your day" to "how are you" at the moment. At least with my day I can mention some facts, "oh yeah just been shopping" rather than them basically ask how I'm feeling when it's pretty shit haha

I'm sometimes asked by acquaintances, if I've not seen them for a while, "what do you know?" Not about anything specific, it's in the same way you'd ask "how are you?/ how's life treating you?" But I feel put on the spot as I don't know anything useful to them! I know that's not what they're asking, but I always end up saying something stupid like "haha, not a lot really! How are you?"😁

I did once awkwardly burst out sobbing over a school mum over the very recent shock bereavement of a younger relative (and hadn't even told DH as he was on another continent with awkward time difference).
She took it well 😂

Not my usual "fine thanks, and you?"

For general small talk about life, I rather like "pleasantly uneventful". It's a stage of life where eventful tends not to be the best news!

I had a friend struggling with divorce and once asked "on a superficial level, how are you?" The first time I'd made him laugh in a while. We knew the deep answer wasn't great and that would emerge later in the conversation, but it did give a lighter entry point into the meet-up.

I hate it, along with the relentless 'how are you' from everyone at work every day. I'm the same as every other fucking day and if I wasn't, I wouldn't be at work and I certainly wouldn't be telling you. I know they mean well, blah, blah, but just say 'morning marshmallow'. Ditch the insincere rest.

Not to pick on you but “I don’t like small talk” is something an edgelord teenager would say.

Most people don’t like it, but they accept it as social lubricant when with strangers and sometimes even a gateway to deeper conversations elsewhere.

I was never really taught about small talk as a child, and I was only in my 20s when I realised that someone saying "How are you?" did not ACTUALLY want to know how I was.

Having to swallow whatever the actual response is, and say "Fine thanks, how are you?" has genuinely taken me time.

I do think as a society we'd be better being more honest with each other and not wasting time on inanities, but I appreciate I'm in the minority here.

'How are you?' is fine and perfectly acceptable. The other person replies with 'Fine thanks, and you?'.