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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My manager is making me come in the office 4days a week

312 replies

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 07:43

Since beginning of my role (which was coming out of covid), I've been hybrid working 3days in the office and 2days wfh. I had my own office but had to give it up for other staff that were in full time. Manger agreed for me to wfh and come in once a week - worked perfect!

In my recent supervision manager said he wants me in 4days a week "business need" and that there will be a room available to share with a couple of other staff. I've gone in and that room isn't set up, currently its dusty with extra office furniture/ equipment, basically being used storage room for now. I made a point to my manager and said could I continue wfh until the room is sorted, he refused and said to set up in that room somewhere in the corner for now.

AIBU here thinking I am within my right to refuse to be there until I have a proper work station set up, as required for my role? Not to mention sitting in an empty room for 8 hours with no interaction effects my mental wellbeing

OP posts:
Brefugee · 23/04/2025 09:55

Lavendar01 · 23/04/2025 08:40

Not exact quote but It sayssomething along the lines flexible working at discretion of business

well, they're covered there, aren't they.

But. If you have to just try to fit in a storage cupboard - you can maybe phrase your return to be when the working space is compliant with H&S at work regulations? in terms of space, light, etc?

northernballer · 23/04/2025 09:55

I think a lot of places are moving to 4 days now as a lot of people royally took the piss, I know my place is nudging that way due to the fact you can't get hold of anyone after 3pm.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/04/2025 09:57

Maybe I’m in a minority of one but if that were me I’d bring my duster in and get the office ship shape. Maybe that’s because I’ve run my own business for many years and am used to just making things happen instead of moaning and griping and threatening to work to rule.

The idea of booking dentist / doctor / boiler repair / whatever in work time just to stick it to the man just shows why businesses are keen to get people back in.

harriethoyle · 23/04/2025 09:58

Where do you work on your current office days, if you're hybrid?

Agree with PP saying it's not your role to sort a DSE compliant work station but I don't think you can complain about being asked to go in once that's sorted.

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 09:58

BrieAndChilli · 23/04/2025 09:53

where have you been working on the 3 days a week you have been going into the office? can't you just continue working there?

I am not 100% sure I don’t think OP has been doing the three days a week.

I wonder is this a management issue. It can be hard to enforce WFH rules. Some line managers just want to be popular so are more flexible than their seniors would like - they let things slide unofficially.

OP picked up on this and maybe stopped going in at all, or very rarely. Possibly more people took this stance. Seniors noticed and pushed back. That seems to be the pattern in a number of workplaces.

Line managing teams is hard - and as this thread has shown people feel very strongly that they can’t be told what to do by their employers.

ClairDeLaLune · 23/04/2025 10:01

What does your contract say? If it says 3 days in the office then your manager can’t make you come in on a 4th day.

I think you would be reasonable to say you at least need that room to be cleaned before you work there, and presumably doing cleaning isn’t part of your role? Not very healthy to be surrounded by dust.

Don’t use interaction with others as a reason to not go into the office though, you haven’t really got a leg to stand on there. Is there not another desk in an office with people that you could have?

Brocsacoille · 23/04/2025 10:03

I would start working to rule. Start bang on 9, leave at 5:30. Hour lunch break and don’t pick up anything outside of hours. If they aren’t prepared to give you flexibility then you don’t give them flexibility

5hell · 23/04/2025 10:04

LivingDeadGirlUK · 23/04/2025 07:57

why are people suggesting OP cleans and sorts this room, thats not her job! She needs a DSE compliant workstation which her company should have no issue providing. This is a case of a bad manager asking her to come in with nothing ready.

it might not be her usual job, but it's not outrageous to do something different/extra/helpful occasionally

perhaps she works somewhere small where there isn't a specific occ health/DSE expert/desk setter-upper!?

I'm in a senior position, but have no problem cleaning / tidying / unpacking / defrosting a freezer etc etc when occasionally required 💁

Arseynal · 23/04/2025 10:04

Whose job is it to sort the room out and what does the sorting entail?

I work in the NHS which is both enormous and backwards. I’m 90% clinical but we have offices, desks, workstations, cupboards converted to offices, offices converted to storerooms etc. My manager would expect me to call IT to organise a phone, workstation etc. call the cleaning supervisor to get a clean done and put that room on someone’s regular list, call the clutterman to remove excess furniture. If I needed any furniture or equipment that wasn’t available I would send a link of what I wanted to my manager for purchase approval. I wouldn’t be expected to vacuum or paint or remove furniture myself but I wouldn’t get away with standing with my arms folded and saying “but the room is dusty and has furniture in it I don’t want and IT haven’t been”.

Whatever you do don’t book a ton of appointments during your working day to show them that somehow this means you are efficient at home and don’t say you get more company at home.

theemmadilemma · 23/04/2025 10:05

Vivienne1000 · 23/04/2025 09:06

I run the medical room in a large comprehensive. I clean my own room. I pay for things to vamp up the room. It has no windows and the only time I speak to another adult is during my 30 minute lunch. I think WFH people are clueless to what a lot of us do to keep things going. I love being with the kids, but what if I decided to have a strop and insist on a nicer room? There isn’t any other option.

That's nothing to do with the difference between location based work and WFH.

That's all about your employer vs. better ones.

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 10:08

Brocsacoille · 23/04/2025 10:03

I would start working to rule. Start bang on 9, leave at 5:30. Hour lunch break and don’t pick up anything outside of hours. If they aren’t prepared to give you flexibility then you don’t give them flexibility

But working to rule surely would include going into the office as stipulated by the rules?

OP doesn’t seem sure what the rules actually are in relation to Hybrid working. She will need to get advice on what the minimum she needs to do to meet her contract.

How OP responds to this will depend on what is explicitly stated in her contract. She should also research what is happening in elsewhere before she jumps. What other jobs are out there at a similar salary point which offer the hybrid arrangement that OP wants. And does she even want hybrid or does she actually want a fully remote role?

deydododatdodontdeydo · 23/04/2025 10:10

BitOutOfPractice · 23/04/2025 09:57

Maybe I’m in a minority of one but if that were me I’d bring my duster in and get the office ship shape. Maybe that’s because I’ve run my own business for many years and am used to just making things happen instead of moaning and griping and threatening to work to rule.

The idea of booking dentist / doctor / boiler repair / whatever in work time just to stick it to the man just shows why businesses are keen to get people back in.

Maybe a minority but not the only one.
I can't understand these "not my job" people.
I've always worked in places where everyone mucks in and gets on with things.
We've had a few "not my job" people over the years but they haven't lasted long. Usually left of their own accord as they don't like to chip in with things outside of their job description.

Brefugee · 23/04/2025 10:10

The idea of booking dentist / doctor / boiler repair / whatever in work time just to stick it to the man just shows why businesses are keen to get people back in.

the last two places i worked have been hybrid and you chose how often you went in (or me 2-3 days per week depending on my schedule). Which was great for me because my commute is always long because i live in the sticks (my choice, and i accept a commute but when it's not necessary, i choose not to. eg when there is a train strike)

Both companies emphasise on their websites, in any literature and in interviews that they are hybrid in order to improve work/life balance. They both (different industries) gave examples of things like dental appointments, which are hard to get and even harder if you are restricted to certain times or having to take a day off. they also gave examples of if you felt bad in the morning but better in the afternoon you could easily get in at least half a day, rather than taking a whole sick day or commuting for 2 hours for 4 hours work. etc etc.

One company was huge, one small. But they trusted their employees. Anyone they thought wasn't pulling their weight were spoken to, and i know of at least one who had to work 5 days office for 6 months (then he quit so, meh).

Some jobs/employees are more suited to hybrid than others.

But also: i would not be setting up my office. As an employee i expect to be able to arrive, plug in my laptop and start working. Not start cleaning, or perch at an unsuitable shelf surrounded by dusty boxes.

ETA: in principle i am not averse to a bit of mucking in. But this isn't mucking in is it? Amazon demanded everyone in California went back to 5 days office and found they had 800 too many staff compared to workstations. That is just daft and obvs on a far greater scale than at OPs place but it is the same in principle.

In OPs shoes i would point out the DSE compliance stuff, and not do any work until i had organised the room to fit those criteria. I don't dust (anywhere, ever) because i have severe allergies, so someone else would be doing that, but i would be calling IT and the facilities manager etc, to have it all arranged. But i wouldn't be working at a workstation that wasn't compliant with regulations.

Badbadbunny · 23/04/2025 10:16

northernballer · 23/04/2025 09:55

I think a lot of places are moving to 4 days now as a lot of people royally took the piss, I know my place is nudging that way due to the fact you can't get hold of anyone after 3pm.

Nail on the head. My son's firm have started twice daily Teams meetings usually at 9.15 and 3.15 which are compulsory unless you've booked time off holidays, sick or study leave or formal flexitime. Basically for "touching base" between the line managers and their staff and for everyone to give brief updates to their team as to what they're working on, progress, timescales to finish tasks, etc. He says it's actually very helpful as they all have to speak so it's "gel-ling" the team and giving them an opportunity to ask for/offer help if a team member is getting behind. The meetings typically last 15 minutes or less, as they're all in very small teams, so it doesn't really take any time out of the working day.

But, realistically, it was introduced as a modern version of a school "registration" to ensure the workers are actually on their laptops at those times and not on the school run, or started late, finished early.

Some days, the managers randomly change the times of the morning or afternoon Teams meeting, ostensibly because they have other "meetings", but they all know it's to stop people taking the piss at other times too! Some days the morning one is put back to 11am, and the afternoon one brought forward to 2pm or put back to 4.30 pm, all at short notice!

Sad that it's come to that, but too many staff take the piss. Give an inch and they take a mile. Their WFH policy is very clear that they're expected to be "working" during their normal/agreed working hours, so they're fully entitled to randomly hold meetings as the staff should be at their laptops working anyway, as I say, unless they've formally booked off the time.

Apparently there was lots of miffed WFH staff when the daily meetings were first announced!!

Cakeandusername · 23/04/2025 10:17

What does your contract say? If it’s Business address or anywhere they reasonably require then it’s up to them.
As for room/desk I’d set up if you can safely. I can’t imagine manager expecting you to move furniture. If you can’t access your desk safety then speak to him and follow up with email. It sounds more not to your taste not unsafe though.

aylis · 23/04/2025 10:19

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Your employer has a duty to provide an adequate work space.

Unbeleevable · 23/04/2025 10:22

@LivingDeadGirlUK I suggested cleaning the desk because i wfh and I clean my desk there… plus why not? It sends a message of cooperation to the manager, and drives a bit of a point if I’m there in rubber gloves with a bucket, spray and wipe!

Also the unusual activity will almost certainly draw in some colleagues for a chat - which was the point of going on, right?

some nice chats … “oh just call me Mrs Mop” / “spring cleaning, my favourite thing to do” / “I didn’t want to feel like the office version of Harry Potter shut in a cupboard so I decided to work a bit of magic!”

Will make manager look a bit shitty and will make OP look saintly.

WitchesofPainswick · 23/04/2025 10:22

Gosh, those of you objecting to dusting and setting up your own workspace have clearly never worked in the charity sector...

Do you think your boss wants to get rid of you? You are coming across as quite difficult.

I'd just clear it up, suck it up, make it a nice office with plants etc. (ask for a DSE assessment) and see if they are willing to have a conversation about flexibility once you've shown willing - particularly if you are still working on your own. Or look for another job.

aylis · 23/04/2025 10:26

WitchesofPainswick · 23/04/2025 10:22

Gosh, those of you objecting to dusting and setting up your own workspace have clearly never worked in the charity sector...

Do you think your boss wants to get rid of you? You are coming across as quite difficult.

I'd just clear it up, suck it up, make it a nice office with plants etc. (ask for a DSE assessment) and see if they are willing to have a conversation about flexibility once you've shown willing - particularly if you are still working on your own. Or look for another job.

I work in the charity sector and my employer wouldn't dream of requesting that anyone changes their work pattern without actively facilitating a sufficient workspace for them. We dust our own desks, we don't set up our own workstations in storage rooms.

Ihad2Strokes · 23/04/2025 10:36

Greenartywitch · 23/04/2025 09:49

The usual race to the bottom in some of these replies...

  • The OP should not have to clear/clean up a room so she can have a space to work. It is the employer's responsibility to give you an appropriate workstation and to do a DSE assessment.
  • OP, email your manager and copy HR and make it clear you need the space to be cleared and made safe before you can work there.
  • In term of days in the office you could try to make an official flexible working request asking to keep your 2 days working from but it might be difficult unless you have a disability/health condition that can be used to justify this reasonable adjustments.
  • Ultimately you might want to look at finding a new job that offers more wfh opportunities.

As usual I am surprised by how many people are so negative about WFH and as usual I assume it is people who resent not having the opportunity to WFH themselves or crap managers who want everyone on site for an ego boost...

Why write such a long post when you haven't even read all of the IP's posts?

JustMyView13 · 23/04/2025 10:36

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 09:43

i don’t think this is great approach.

Working to rule for OP seems to be coming in three days a week?

Also presumably she wants a good reference. Why trash your professional reputation when looking for a new job?

I agree that is the working arrangements don’t suit then look elsewhere - but people talk and reputations can be lost so quickly. Is this a close knit industry OP? Do you work in a specialist role?

Working to rule is literally fulfilling your contractual obligations. In the UK at least, you can’t give someone a bad reference for fulfilling their contractual obligations.

People will always talk about you however you show up at work, you shouldn’t waste time worrying about what others think and say, your work will speak for itself.

Bellyblueboy · 23/04/2025 10:43

JustMyView13 · 23/04/2025 10:36

Working to rule is literally fulfilling your contractual obligations. In the UK at least, you can’t give someone a bad reference for fulfilling their contractual obligations.

People will always talk about you however you show up at work, you shouldn’t waste time worrying about what others think and say, your work will speak for itself.

But I don’t know if OP is currently fulfilling her contract - either does she. She hasn’t reviewed it and might actaually have to be in the office 100% if she is complying strictly with the requirements

working to rule also means sticking rigidly - for example if using a certain technology isn’t stipulated you don’t have to.

i think she should continue to do good work to the best of her ability and decide if the conditions aren’t to her liking move on

Guinessandafire · 23/04/2025 10:44

Badbadbunny · 23/04/2025 10:16

Nail on the head. My son's firm have started twice daily Teams meetings usually at 9.15 and 3.15 which are compulsory unless you've booked time off holidays, sick or study leave or formal flexitime. Basically for "touching base" between the line managers and their staff and for everyone to give brief updates to their team as to what they're working on, progress, timescales to finish tasks, etc. He says it's actually very helpful as they all have to speak so it's "gel-ling" the team and giving them an opportunity to ask for/offer help if a team member is getting behind. The meetings typically last 15 minutes or less, as they're all in very small teams, so it doesn't really take any time out of the working day.

But, realistically, it was introduced as a modern version of a school "registration" to ensure the workers are actually on their laptops at those times and not on the school run, or started late, finished early.

Some days, the managers randomly change the times of the morning or afternoon Teams meeting, ostensibly because they have other "meetings", but they all know it's to stop people taking the piss at other times too! Some days the morning one is put back to 11am, and the afternoon one brought forward to 2pm or put back to 4.30 pm, all at short notice!

Sad that it's come to that, but too many staff take the piss. Give an inch and they take a mile. Their WFH policy is very clear that they're expected to be "working" during their normal/agreed working hours, so they're fully entitled to randomly hold meetings as the staff should be at their laptops working anyway, as I say, unless they've formally booked off the time.

Apparently there was lots of miffed WFH staff when the daily meetings were first announced!!

Edited

That just shows a complete lack of trust in your staff though, and values presenteeism over productivity.

I could sit at my laptop reading this flipping site all day and be 'present'

WFH / Hybrid should give the opportunity to do the school run and make time up later, maybe have a 30 mins lunch instead of an hour, or work an hour later.

I'd have something to say about ' registration' meetings as well. It's such lazy management - if they suspect poor performance they should address it properly.

aylis · 23/04/2025 10:47

Guinessandafire · 23/04/2025 10:44

That just shows a complete lack of trust in your staff though, and values presenteeism over productivity.

I could sit at my laptop reading this flipping site all day and be 'present'

WFH / Hybrid should give the opportunity to do the school run and make time up later, maybe have a 30 mins lunch instead of an hour, or work an hour later.

I'd have something to say about ' registration' meetings as well. It's such lazy management - if they suspect poor performance they should address it properly.

It sounds like micromanaging and I would hate that with a passion.

Badbadbunny · 23/04/2025 10:47

Guinessandafire · 23/04/2025 10:44

That just shows a complete lack of trust in your staff though, and values presenteeism over productivity.

I could sit at my laptop reading this flipping site all day and be 'present'

WFH / Hybrid should give the opportunity to do the school run and make time up later, maybe have a 30 mins lunch instead of an hour, or work an hour later.

I'd have something to say about ' registration' meetings as well. It's such lazy management - if they suspect poor performance they should address it properly.

It's a very large employer, tens of thousands of staff, highly profitable, with very high staff satisfaction ratings. Most of the staff are happy with the system (my son certainly is) because they work hard and and don't want to be dragged down having to cover for colleagues who aren't pulling their weight. It's very much a "work hard, play hard" firm where staff are very well paid, but with no room for slackers. Also a great small team ethic - I think his "team" has only about six staff, including the immediate line manager - the firm is set up that way - literally hundreds/thousands of tiny "teams", so being able to work together and trust each other is fundamental for the team to meet it's targets and deadlines.