To ask how much you'd spend to see a very close friend?

[Phillipconnarthy]

Friend is a solo singer and I see her perform often. In the last 3 weeks I've seen her 3 times. I sometimes get discounted or free tickets as she's allowed a certain number, but not every time.
Anyway, the first time in these last 3 weeks I paid about £30 to travel to see her. The second time £50. The third time next to nothing. I'm seeing her in about 10 days' time and this time I'm paying for my partner and sibling to come, as they're travelling down to it so it's going to cost me nearly £100.

She's performing again a week or two after that and it'll cost me another £35 if she can't get me in. I'm happy to pay and don't expect special treatment, I do appreciate when she does get me in. However AIBU to have told her I can't afford the latest one? After the £100 one.
It'll have cost me almost £200 in just over a month which is a lot for me. I really enjoy her performances and I try to get to as many shows as I can but as I say it's costed me a lot recently.
It might sound a bit petty but I can't imagine anyone doing that for me. Family maybe, but not friends. To be honest, I think I go to see her more than her own partner or family do! Aibu to say i need to cut down a bit?

why do you go so often? Seems excessive

As she's a very close friend, I do genuinely enjoy the music even if she weren't my friend id listen to it. Sounds daft but I feel bad if I don't go. However I'm sure she can understand I've spent a lot and as I say I don't know if it'd be reciprocated.

I’d go once if it was a free ticket only

Just go to watch her less often.

She did offer once to cover the cost of me getting there but then never did, I mean she's not obliged to at all, but I do need to not feel like I have to go every time.

This is ridiculous — when you said "see" I thought it meant visit/spend time with, not literally watch from afar!

Do you actually get to spend any time together like a normal friendship?

I would go once or twice per year to support her and I wouldn't be spending money I didn't have, regardless of if that's £20 or £200.

This is bonkers, when DH was in a band that played a couple of times a month I only went about twice a year.

You are choosing to go, you’re not being forced to.

Well it’s probably more about how much you can afford to spend, rather than how much you’d like to spend. For me personally I simply don’t have £200 a month to spend on socializing so I wouldn’t be going as much as you.

Perhaps you should limit it to watching her when there are next to no travel costs involved. It sounds better than saying “I’ll only watch if you can get me in for free!” But seriously everyone has a limit to their budget. It’s not really about whether it would be reciprocated or not.

I'd pay for the usual entrance fee once. Wouldn't go see her same show again unless the tickets were free.

Are you her friend or a groupie?
Do you see her outside of her gigs?

Don’t tell her about the money just skip the next one. She probably has a limited amount of free tickets so give a chance to offer someone else.

This