This may be a bit of a ramble but hopefully it makes some sort of sense as I’m really struggling to understand the situation.
for context me and my partner have a newborn and an older child. We’ve been together for almost 10 years. He’s never been physically or verbally abusive in any way. I’ve seen him lash out in anger in some instances (punching things or kicking things in frustration)
This morning I asked him to take our newborn downstairs so I could catch up on some sleep as I do the night feeds solo (I’m breastfeeding and he works until midnight so comes home and gets some undisturbed sleep) At the moment I’m getting about 4/5 hours of broken sleep so I’m absolutely exhausted.
my partner took our DD down and I slept for a few hours, he came upstairs and asked me to come downstairs so he could get dressed and go out to see his friend. I remember him coming and waking me up and I remember saying that I was getting up but I must have fallen straight back to sleep. I didn’t fall asleep again on purpose I was just that exhausted that I couldn’t help it. About 30 mins later he wakes me up by stomping up the stairs again and banging the bedroom door open and asking if I’m getting up in a very angry tone (he didn’t shout but it was quite intimidating)
I don’t know if it’s because I was still half asleep or if it’s something deeper but my initial reaction was fear. I felt scared in that moment.
I got up and took over with DD and found myself walking on eggshells a little until he left. I struggled all morning trying to dissect my feelings around it.
For background info I have no past trauma and had a very happy childhood. The only thing I’d mention is that I have quite poor mental health and am autistic.
My question is AIBU to have felt scared in that moment? Was he in the wrong? Or am I overreacting?
Any thoughts are much appreciated