Have I left too late for baby?

[Discoprincess6]

Hi just want some thoughts really. We’ve just started trying for a baby at the age of 40.

I haven’t been ovulating when we’ve had sex as I’m due to start my period next day or so.

My worry is that I have left it too late to have a baby. My AMH levels are within normal range but we will be getting some fertility tests next month just to try to get ahead of any potential problems due to our age.

what do you think?

The fertility of an average 40 year old will be lower than the average 30 year old but that doesn’t mean that you personally won’t be fertile (I know lots of people who got pregnant without an issue in their late thirties and early forties).

Time isn’t on your side so I’d probably start using charting and ovulation tests to give you the best chance of getting pregnant each month (‘the impatient woman’s guide to getting pregnant’ is an excellent book for explaining how to do all of this as effectively as possible).
You do have to have sex on the day you ovulate (or the 3-4days before to 24hrs after). You are only fertile for about 5 days a month, so having sex outside those times is unlikely to lead to pregnancy.

I think it’s also a good idea that you’re checking for issues now, hopefully there won’t be any but it’s better to identify them now rather than waiting another 6-12 months when fertility may have declined further and treatments may be less effective. I’d also suggest getting your thyroid levels checked too as this can also impact fertility.

Fingers crossed for you!

I wouldn't chart or track or anything. I would have sex every other day, I would take pregnancy vitamins, eat well and minimise stress.

And book for testing. Good luck

I got pg with no fertility help when I was 40 (which had an abnormality so I had a tfmr) and again when I was 41 (which led to the birth of a healthy baby). So I don't think it's too late, but many pregnancies in women over 40 result in either abnormalities which may be incompatible with life, or miscarriages, because of the lower quality of eggs. But there are also many perfectly healthy babies born to women over 40, you just have to be prepared for difficulties along the way (and I highly recommend a private NIPT as early as possible, the NHS sometimes offer them but often later than you'd get it privately, which means if you do need a tfmr, the procedure happens at a later stage which is often more traumatic and medically complex).

It’s often luck of the draw. I know a good few friend who struggled immensely with fertility in their early 30s and then a close family member who had both kids (naturally) in her early and mid forties.

I’d really suggest getting some ovulation sticks and tracking your cycle via one of the many apps but beyond that, have a go at just enjoying the process for the first 6 months and then if if you’re no further forward, book in for some testing (ideally private testing if you have the means as you will get it done so so much quicker)

Unfortunately until you try there’s no way to know. Chances are you’ll be able to conceive. But no one can guarantee it will happen. Everyone told me when I started trying at 39 it wasn’t too late. Everyone seemed to know someone who conceived first month trying at like 45 so at 39 it should be easy etc etc etc.
It never happened for me (other than a few miscarriages) even with IVF. They put it down as likely just age related crap eggs.
All you can do is try.

Also, if you want to improve/preserve egg quality then ‘it starts with an egg’ is helpful. I’d definitely start taking a prenatal vitamin whilst trying to conceive.
If you do get pregnant I agree with the suggestion above of getting an NIPT if you can afford it (it screens for several genetic abnormalities).

All of these suggestions are just to increase your chances of getting pregnant and having a successful pregnancy. There’s a good chance you’ll get pregnant anyway, around 45% of 40 year old women who are trying to conceive will get pregnant within a year which are pretty good odds.

I just had a baby at 42, accidental pregnancy. Don't lose hope I'm sure you will suceed

41 and 43 for me. Two healthy babies who are now 4 and 6.
Good luck!

I had a surprise baby at almost 42. I have two friends who had first babies at 43. Natural.

As others have said it's the luck of the draw as this won't be the case for everyone. Wishing you the best wit it 😀

I'm no expert but quite interested in the subject of fertility etc. it seems like a large proportion of women are able to get pregnant until around 43/44. Obviously that's getting pregnant, staying pregnant is a different subject entirely. But even then odds are still in your favour. Good luck xx

It's absolutely impossible to say. You might be one of the women who conceives a healthy baby immediately over 40. It might already be too late for you. Only trying will tell you.

Plenty of women have no trouble conceiving at 40. I had issues at 34 and needed IVF at 37. It’s so individual. I wish you lots of luck and my advice is to seek help sooner rather than later if you haven’t conceived in the next 6 months.

No, not necessarily.

How old is your partner.

Read It Starts with the Egg and imagine it's "It starts with the Egg and sperm". Both of you need to look at lifestyle factors. Good fertility vitamins, vitamins D, exercise, low/no alcohol or caffeine, low stress.

And plenty of sex for fun. Don't make it a chore of charts and sticks etc.

Thanks so much guys! I really appreciate the tips. I’ll pick the books up when get paid and start with the ovulation tests.

i find it complicated to work out when ovulating though.

Honestly, don't waste your money on books or sticks or anything. Just have lots of sex, at least every other day.
People male a lot of money out of the desire to have children, providing all is working all you need to do is have sex every other day.
If there are issues spend your money there not on sticks and books.

Good luck - just stack the odds in your favour as much as you can!

Yes old to try for your first baby