How to explain to DH how tired I am in early pregnancy

[Jeanshort]

Currently 8 weeks pregnant with DC2, have DC1 who has just turned 1. I am so exhausted, I work full time and DC1 is so full on! In the evenings I just want to sleep but have to still do cleaning, cooking etc. DC1 gets up between 5.30 and 6 and I always seem to be the one to go to them even though if I go back upstairs a bit later to get a nappy or clothes or whatever DH is literally laying in bed on his phone.

How do I communicate to DH how tired I am? I don’t think I can go on like this. Any time I say how exhausted I am, he just says ‘yeah me too’ and carries on like normal. Has anyone successfully communicated to their partners how exhausting early pregnancy is?

When I was pregnant I always felt that the first trimester was the most exhausting. I went from happily going to bed at 11, up at 7 and doing 12 hr work days, to struggling with working 9 to 6 despite a 8pm-7am uninterrupted bedtime. Add morning sickness into the mix.

You need to sit your DH down and remind him it's not a competition and the ways in which you are struggling.

Maybe come to him with a view/some ideas of what would help? Particularly with another child in the mix maybe he needs to step up more. Maybe he is genuinely tired. But in the end he's not pregnant

This.

Just exactly what does he do in the evening?

Does he come home, sit down.... and that's it?

For one - stop cooking for him, stop laundry, stop ANYTHING YOU DO FOR HIM. You're meant to be a team, not a one woman dynamo looking after 2 children whilst pregnant.

What does he do?

I know how you feel OP, I'm 8 weeks pregnant with DC2 and have a very demanding 2 year old. The exhaustion is unbelievable. Last night I had to get DH to come and lift her out the bath because I didn't have the strength to do it. We both work long hours and the only way we cope is tag teaming.

First thing you need to do is start alternating who gets up with your toddler in the morning. I can't believe you don't do that already, you do one morning and your DH the next. Rinse and repeat. Why does he get a lie in every day while you presumably by default are up at dawn to deal with the breakfast and nappies?

Evenings you take turns. Someone makes dinner/tidies up/does a load of laundry while the other baths your DC and gets him to bed.

If he refuses to help with the household chores tell him you'll be employing a cleaner until he's willing to help because you can't and won't do it all. He's welcome to suggest alternative solutions but he can't just say no to everything.

I would go with
"H, you are a selfish Knob"

Don't tell him, show him! Hand him the baby and go to bed. Let him get on with it, you are both working and he needs to do his share of childcare and household chores!

Some men don’t seem to understand these sorts of things when you tell them, therefore you have to show him. Via consequence. Tell him that you are so exhausted and that will be reducing your domestic work load to the bare minimum (but don’t specify what) Ie. Just looking after youself and DC. He’ll soon start complaining when dinner isn’t on the table or he doesn’t have any clean shirts for work. You can then explain to him (again) why you have only been able to muster the energy to cook a meal for you and DC, and nothing else.