I think I’ve been husband stitched

[Fannycrevasse]

I had a baby in January and DH and I haven’t had PIV since we conceived in May last year. Quite a few reasons for this, mostly my incompetent cervix and our history of early miscarriage as a result. Plus it just not being a priority over other, normal affection.

We attempted it last night, but we quite quickly discovered there’s just no way of getting past the first few cm’s and it feels like the whole thing just gets seriously narrow all of a sudden a few cm’s back and the pain was worse than childbirth so we obviously stopped.

I had a 2nd degree tear this time, and In my first birth I had an episiotomy (I have 2 children) and sex afterwards was completely normal so I know this isn’t normal if that makes sense?

It genuinely feels like either something has been stitched too tight or something hasn’t healed correctly? I’m just wondering whether this is a common experience when you tear and we just need to keep trying or whether I need to go and speak to my GP?

It could be vaginismus - I tried to have sex six weeks after birth and I had vaginismus from the trauma of birth to the muscles. Basically the muscles just clamped shut! It can be quite common after childbirth.

Of course it could be too tight stitching or scarring, but it's also likely to be vaginismus

Your description of it being really narrow also sounds like vaginismus to me - but either way you probably need to be examined to work out the cause!

With vaginismus, the muscles contract and cause the vagina to distort in such a way it creates a feeling like a wall a few centimetres inside. If so, it’s your brain trying to protect you from what it thinks is a threat. It might be pain related or it might be on some level you don’t feel ready and relaxed enough yet.
I’d suggest see your GP and if they think suitable I’d suggest a psychosexual therapist.

I had exactly this after my first birth and it was vaginismus, which was odd because I had no psychological reason to shut up shop. It was as if a muscle just inside was clamped shut.

I had to see a sexologist/gynecologist who suggested gentle perineal massage and intimacy without PIV. I think she said it was atrophy as I hadn't had any tearing or anything. I only recovered naturally after stopping BFing my second DC and my hormones going back to normal.