Is it possible for me to come out of this mental health crisis? Please help me.

[BreakingPoint555]

I think I'm having a minor (or major?)crisis. I'm 34. Lone parent to a 6yo. He's wonderful, and also neurodivergent. It is quite hard work. I work full time. I have got right sided leg weakness diagnosed by neurologist. Checked out via MRI and NCS, all clear. Still very anxious it's something sinister. Having lots of ectopic heartbeats at night, that are stopping me sleeping. When I stand up they are ok, when I lay down they start again. This has resulted in me having panic attacks every night (seems to be part of my bedtime routine now). Then awake all night, school run in the morning, work, school run, evening routine, then same again. I'm waiting on NHS for CBT, waiting for neuro follow-up which won't be for a few months. Lots and lots of waiting. I feel like I'm in hell and will never feel normal again. I desperately want to exercise and get fit, but when? And with what energy? I feel like I'll die of I carry on like this. I don't know what to do. How can I ever feel normal again? Please help me Mumsnet

I’m absolutely terrible at advice but didn’t want to read and not reply.

Have you had your thyroid checked? My DH suffered with restless legs in the night and what he described as panic attacks and it was his thyroid.

I haven't, no. I just want to feel normal again.

CBT therapy?

Please don’t rely on waiting CBT, it doesn’t even touch the sides for many. There are lots of options for free/cheap psychotherapy.

Reach out wherever you can - call HomeStart, call Gingerbread. You need respite and company and connection. Ask work for special allowances - can you WFH? Take a lunch time nap?

Listen to Motherkind podcast. Have you taken up any parenting support courses?

Try and squeeze in 10 mins of yoga before bed.

Yes, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

I already work from home. I work in school hours, then evenings to make it up to full time. It is knackering. I can't nap, makes me feel groggy but lunchtime walks help a lot!

On the ectopics, hopefully I can reassure you. I get them really badly and am under a cardiologist for tachycardia as well. Sometimes I get a huge run of ectopics, they just don't stop. I've been fully checked out and the cardiologist has told me that they are nothing to worry about even when I have loads in a row and it feels like my heart is having a disco! You notice them when you're lying down because your heart is closer to your chest wall. Mine are worse when I'm tired and dehydrated. You sound exhausted and on edge so this is highly likely to be why you're noticing them (we all get them but some people notice them more than others).

I've been in a similar situation to you and ended up with lots of health issues caused by stress which then make me more stressed and it was a vicious circle. I tried all the usual things but nothing worked until I went on Sertraline. I would speak to your GP if I were you.

Oh darling I can totally understand how scary it feels but as the above poster said, ectopic beats are harmless. I’ve had them every single day for years and years. I’ve had test after test and the cardiologist has told me on numerous occasions that they are not harmful.
they do however feel very uncomfortable though.
ask your GP if you can try a beta blocker.
im on propranolol and it calms my anxiety and stops the ectopic beats.
Im also a lone parent and have sat up all night so many times having extreme panic attacks to the point of calling an ambulance before because I thought I was dying.
i promise you that you will be okay. Anxiety and panic can make you feel so unwell.
You’re not alone xx

I would want a complete set of physical investigations before assuming this is a mental health crisis. Have you had blood tests?

It's just an example, I can't diagnose you ofc, but I was diagnosed with pernicious anaemia (B12 deficiency in effect) about 10 years ago. I got more and more ill over about a 10-month period, until I was completely unable to function - fatigue, muscle weakness, muscle twitches, funny turns when I'd come over all sweaty and have to get down on the floor before I fainted, gastro disturbance, it went on and on. My GP was all about panic attacks, depression etc, and gave me a choice of antidepressants or CBT. Some maverick impulse made me say, "What about some investigations first?" It turned out my B12 and Vit D were both in my boots. I felt like a new woman after treatment and have never looked back (I have to have regular injections now and know about it if they're late).

I'm not suggesting this is your problem, but I do think GPs can be a bit quick to diagnose mental health issues especially when you do have a stressful life on top of whatever's going on physically, and perhaps also especially when there's another physical problem that seems to have been 'dealt with'. More than one thing can be wrong at the same time. I hope you get to the bottom of it. It's horrible feeling desperate for someone to help you. x

Fear not. You need to reduce these panic attacks and you can. The classic book 'Self-Help For Your Nerves' by Dr Claire Weekes will guide you to things you can do yourself while waiting for therapy. It's quite old but you can buy it online or read it on one of the free online library sites. Paul McKenna is also good on simple techniques you can learn and practise to reduce anxiety. He has written books and articles and perhaps also has videos online.

Knowing you can do something means you can have hope and you are not stuck helplessly waiting in a state of debilitating worry and panic attacks.

It's tough being alone in the endless cycle of work and parenting and it would be good to seek support and contact with family, friends or local voluntary organisations - your council website should have information and links - rather than suffer alone. There is help out there. And there is always mumsnet here.

Try some drowsy anti histamines, I used these when insomnia becomes unmanageable. Sold in chemists as sleep aid. Everything is more achievable after rest!

Continue the lunch time walks.

I would also try bedtime yoga. There are lots of free classes on YouTube, sone only 10 minutes long. Look at the ones aimed at helping with anxiety and sleep. Also try magnesium at bedtime. There are lotions for your legs plus tablets. They can really help.

This will get better