Is 18 really that 'late' for stereotypically 'teen' milestones?

[ThisGreenCat]

I've been seeing some of the threads here, stating that 18 is too late to be a virgin, or going on nights out etc. It seems to me that I had a very different experience. I didn't have any friends at school, so I never experienced any of these things. However, on here, people are making it seem like the norm. Was it actually usual to go out, talk to boys, etc? I feel like out of my friends now, I was the only one who didn't. I got teased for it at uni too, where I didn't do much there either. Me personally, I don't think 18/19 is too late for anything, but it seems like on here, the general consensus is that it is.

Absolutely not too late

It's not too late. If anything, I would have thought it was more common to be 'late' these days, especially with nights out etc with strict rules around ID. When I was young there were 14/15 year olds in pubs and clubs, but I don't think you'd get that now.

Completely normal, in my experience. And later

Stricter checks means that teens literally can't go to clubs and pubs until they are 18, so "going out" will be houseparties or going to restaurants before then.
Groups of mixed age teens will also be restricted in what they can do.

The current lot of 18/19 year olds have missed out on social interaction through lockdowns - so are possibly a little later than we were with some of these things.

In the past we were able to go out to the pub and get served alcohol at 16/17 really easily but it's a bit more difficult these days. My 19 year old son didn't start going out drinking until he got to uni.

Having said that, people are all different and what's late for one person isn't for someone else.

Yeah I live where I grew up. Used to go to the pub at 14. Now the same pubs are ‘challenge 25’! That plus Covid means I think kids are starting later.

I think that is ok; maybe they’ll think about what they like doing, rather than just what everyone else is?

My daughters 17, has almost 30k followers of mainly boys on tiktok, to the outside world she is bubbly, gorgeous and inundated with boys. Those who know her, know she's never had a boyfriend, still a virgin and she's very very happy being the way she is. She's independent, career focused and focused on being financially independent, she doesn't have time for boys messing her around and won't tolerate the crap other girls she knows put up with. She's underage but goes to raves and clubs, she's worked in pubs cash in hand too. She has kissed boys but that's very much as far as she's gone. And she's so open about it, she genuinely doesn't worry about being a virgin or not having had a boyfriend yet. And locally, because of her following on social media she's often in people's mouths talking bad on her like she's promiscuous or something because of the interest she gets. But she's just happy doing her own thing not worrying about boys. She's got quite a few friends who are in the same boat too

I had plenty of friends in school and boyfriends from 15. I didn’t lose my virginity until 18 and I definitely wasn’t going on “nights out” before then. We mostly just hung out at each other’s houses and cooked food and watched films.

I grew up in a 'nice' town and I'd say most of my year at school lost their virginity at 16 or 17. Plenty younger and some later too, but 18 would have been on the later side of average. I'm mid 30s now.

Nights out? As a teenager in the mid 2000s everywhere was really strict on ID, especially if you wanted to go somewhere decent. Is that not the case anymore?

Most of my friendship circle lost virginity around 16-18 so also normal. I’d say younger than that was more unusual than the other way round.

Absolutely not too late! Too many youngsters are being pushed into growing up too fast and into unhealthy relationships. Quite normal not to date properly until university, especially for lads. I’m no prude but you need to let them grow up at a pace right for them. I do think some of the cultural issues around incels is because younger teen boys are thinking they should be having relationships later if they don’t there’s something amiss when it’s quite normal not to

But how old are you? Norms change enormously generationally.

I'm 29. But for context, I didn't have sex or even my first kiss until my early 20s. I went on a few nights out at uni, but didn't really know what I was doing, and felt very left out.