Hello,
This is an occasion that I want to be told I am being unreasonable. I am also a terrible daughter.
I have hypochondria, postpartum anxiety and have also lost a baby, born sleeping, at 33 weeks in the past. I struggle with worrying my living babies are safe and healthy all the time.
My dad has had coldsores since I was a baby. He gets them about once a year, if that. He started to feel the start of a coldsore on Friday, but wasn't sure of it as he had no tingling, and so decided not to tell me about it as he knew I would worry. However spent the entire day with my toddler while I stayed home.
He does not kiss my baby (2 month old) as its a rule I've passed on to all my family. However, when I saw him on Saturday he may very well have touched my babies face and definatly cuddled my toddler. He also kisses my toddler but not sure if he did so on Saturday.
Yesterday he came to pick us up to celebrate Easter Sunday at my famalies house. First thing he says "I may have a coldsore". He keeps touching it and I say "stop touching it!". He goes to wash his hands and then touches it again. Eventually, I said "dad it's not your fault at all, but I can't afford emotionally to worry about this all day so we won't be coming". I felt so guilty - it's not his fault he has cold sores or that I have anxiety. (Well, he plays a part, but that's a lonnng story)
Once he left, I disinfected all the door handles and washed everything he touched. I messaged him to say I loved him and that it's my anxiety that's the issue and not him. I must have made him feel so bad about himself.
But now here I am - I am so so worried my baby will catch it and something terrible will happen. He may have touched her cheek on Saturday. He defiantly cuddled and heald my elder daughter. And I can't be sure but I probably cuddled him with face close to mine as
I am trying really bloody hard with my mental health but things like this throw me off.
Update - I have therapy, medication and everything in between to support this. I know my reaction is not normal or healthy BUT here I am. Im someone naturally inclined tk be anxious, who has also had some pretty shitty cards played in the past. I'm trying my best.
Do you think my babies will be okay?