Is it just me or is there too much dad bashing on MN?

[Rastyopolis]

Just wondering if I’m the only one fed up of seeing posts where dad’s are always the ones in the wrong.

Don't be daft. People post threads about the dads who deserve 'bashing'. The ones who don't deserve bashing do not get threads posted about them. That's why it appears skewed towards dad-bashing. Same applies to bad parkers, evil mothers-in-law, bridezillas and umpteen other problems commonly posted about on MN.

1). People only tend to post when they have something to complain about. So you have confirmation bias that all men are terrible dads. Same as every MIL is terrible and everyone works at a toxic workplace.

2). The bar men is on the floor of hell, so actually no, I don’t think there is too much dad bashing. Where a woman is being unreasonable such as the one blaming her husband for accidentally letting their kid see an Easter egg or the one that was upset because her husband wouldn’t do joint socials about Easter, MN is keen to tell her. But the poster who was told that she had to figure out childcare when she back to work from maternity leave because he earns more than her, I wouldn’t call that a bashing.

If you could share some examples of where you think men have taken a bashing that would be helpful.

This is a forum, primarily for women involved in parenting. It is to ask for advice, to have a bit of a rant, share thoughts, to let off steam.

So it is completely understandable that one of the key areas of posts will be their husbands/partners contribution to parenting,

Why should that be seen as 'too much dad-bashing'? If someone needs to get something off their chest and Mumsnet provides a safe space to do that, then great. That's the ideal outcome.

My dad was a thoroughly unpleasant person. My ex is the least involved parent imaginable. When it became clear ex had no intention of being a decent parent, I left. But why should I have to hide any of that if I feel the urge to discuss it, OP? (I seldom do) And who are you to police my conversation? If you don't want to see it, read the threads on gardening.

All kinds of bashing goes on here

Meh. If I'd done the same amount of 'parenting', emotionally, physically and financially as my ex did my DC would have been in care and I'd probably have been in court on neglect charges. So I'll continue to tell people how shit he turned out to be.

Possibly because it's MUMSNET and not Dadsnet.

Try looking on Dadsnet for the opposite point of view.

I am a man and I can say I think 99% of the anti dad posts on here are correct. look
The men who think they are babysitting when they are looking after their own kids
The ones who never get up in the night
the ones who fuck off all weekend at football, golf, cycling
the ones who never think that their partners may need help with the housework/child care/buying gifts for his family/managing the day to day/taking the kids to things

These men deserve all the shit that comes their way on m n (and personally I don't understand why women put up with it).
Those times where the partner is being hard on the dad often result in her being told that.

so mn isn't anti dad...It's anti arseholes

You don’t have to read posts you’re not interested in, but you can’t dictate what anyone else writes about.

If you don’t want to see a post ‘bashing’ your behaviour, behave properly!

The OP was still 'just wondering' being and being ' fed up' isn't an order to stop.
On a wider note I take issue with your cheap insult. If you disagree with mean, fine - say so. I'm curious as to why you felt the need to insult me. I feel that says something about the type of person you are. You couldn't just disagree , you had to get a personal dig in.

@NoraLuka a querie is not dictating!

I agree OP. Women have utter contempt for men on MN. But then I guess it’s confirmation bias, it’s a predominantly female contributing forum that is used to rant.

Most OP’s are chomping at the bit to have their views and reactions endorsed by the sisterhood, like ‘it’s ok babes, your female comrades have got your back from those nasty horrid menny wenny’. I often read posts of women berating their husbands for this, that and the other and think to myself ‘your poor bloody husband’. I sometimes wish that we could hear the other side of the story because there is no doubt that when someone posts moaning about their male partner, how unsupportive he is, how awful is he, how thoughtless he is, they litter it with detail that serves to set the narrative they are wanting, and thus they are met with a barrage of …

Leave him.
Dont put his name on the birth certificate.
You've got DH problem
God, what a cunt, I wouldn’t put up with that.

However, I’ve seen quite a few threads recently of people being more sympathetic to the male recipients of an OP’s wrath.

As someone above says, it’s MN not DN. I call bullshit on loads of what I read on here. But it would be the same over on DN.

Ok, then to answer your query no, there isn’t too much dad bashing, just rubbish men being called out. Sometimes it might be unfair but I don’t care.

@Jabberwok I agree with why on earth do women put up with it if they live with an arse. But I do see posts all the time with double standard behaviour/dad is at fault and mum takes no accountability for their own part in it.
As much as there are shitty dads, there are shitty mums. But if you dare to bring that up it deflects back to dads.

Now that's a post policing what other women say!

Though I have seen replies expressing sympathy for a poster's husband, when the poster really is being ridiculous. "My husband won't join in my Insta post" being the latest example.

WTF are you on about?

Good grief! I've never bothered a man in my life 😳. How unappealing.

Yeah it’s you.

I’m sick of seeing posts about useless fuckwit men and the handmaidens who hold them to a much lower standard

< sighs >

You really think these men present as unsuitable before children? Despite the overwhelming studies stating that abuse can start either in pregnancy or after giving birth when the woman is trapped?

Again, the better question is what makes some of them unable to grow into a fully functioning and pleasant human being? Some men are manage it, the vast majority of women do, so what is happening to the rest of the men? What changes them when they've impregnated a woman?

I should hope not!! Men bothering is just as much a crime as women bothering

🫣🫣Can't say I haven't, but you're right 😂😂

Plenty of women should not have had children either.

I see way more posts on here where people say how awful their mothers are than their fathers.
And lets not even get onto the MIL trope.

I do think that fathers are undervalued.

A lot of women seem to think that mothers are more important than fathers.

When fathers are equally as important as mothers.

A poster earlier on said the OP was policing what women can I say; I disagreed.

A poster ordering other women to 'behave properly' is an example of policing what women say.