To think we can move to a nicer home now?

[NameChange202525]

DH thinks we should stay put until both DC get into secondary school. We live quite close to a decent secondary school which would be guaranteed from where we currently live.

however if we move we could get a much nicer, bigger home with a lovely garden and much needed extra space. I’m desperate to move. DC are 7 and 9

we would be moving from KT17 (Epsom) to SM7 (Banstead) and would be a really nice upgrade on the property. Kids are bright and think would do fine anywhere, but DH feels strongly about schools. AIBU to think he is overthinking this!?

The problem is the air bnb for in laws and parents wouldn’t really work. They stay for an extended period (over a month), help with childcare and it’s not culturally appropriate to make them stay elsewhere.

Your kids education is still more important, your DH is right. And you don’t NEED to move now, so there’s no reason to disadvantage your children.

Yes, education still far more important.

I'd put my children's schooling over what's "culturally appropriate" in this situation.

No. We lived in SW London when the children were small.

Madness. Schools comes first over hosting.

thanks @RosesAndHellebores

Sorry meant to add that Epsom is a bit thin on high performing independent. Ewell Castle is excellent but niche. Epsom College has always had a slightly off beam reputation. St John's Leatherhead brilliant for the tier below the London Indys, Aberdour just outside is a good prep.

However, had we moved to Epsom when the DC were younger, there are some brilliant state schools: Glyn, Roseberry, Nonsuch, the Sutton Grammars. Obviously prices are higher around Glyn/Roseberry catchments but Blenheim is pretty good too (the children look like ladies and gentlemen compared to the local comp in London!)

For the pp who asked why the op couldn't get a bigger house in Epsom. It's significantly more expensive than Banstead which has poor schools and railway line.

I think the OP needs to shake off the cultural issues around rellys staying for protracted periods. She doesn't have space for them and what is appropriate in Asia (I assume) is not acceptable in the UK. It will become increasingly unacceptable as the dc get bigger and need p&q to study for exams and get homework done. Asian cultures put much store by education and this family needs to put their dc and gc first and jangle the change in their pockets for alternative accommodation. There's short let abnb stuff in Central Epsom as well as a Premier Inn and a Travellers Lodge I think.

DH would never accept Airbnb either btw. He thinks the kids sharing is fine, I’m not sure as they are getting older I’d like them to have their own space they don’t have to keep giving up

@RosesAndHellebores I was curious so thanks for the info, I know people with dc at Rosebery & the grammars who are very happy.

Might a compromise be a caravan on your drive or accommodation pod in the garden?

Our garden is quite small too unfortunately, as are the parking spaces! Thanks for the suggestions though.

i think we need to compare the schools a bit more. DH is insisting that the one currently on our doorstep is much better than others but can’t really explain why the options near Banstead are not fine too

Sorry @NameChange202525 what exactly needs to be explained. The Epsom schools outstrip the Bansted ones. Fact. Your DH is 100% right there.

Either you move to a bigger house and your DC go to a worse school or you stay where you are for the time being and get them into one of the Epsom Schools before moving.

If the rellys can't stay in an abnb, could you and the DC. I'd put my foot down over the visiting if they will not sort out accommodation and there is no wriggle room. Presumably when they are here there are six of you competing for the bathroom. It's unacceptable for visitors to insist on staying imo if quarters are cramped.

You need to read section 8 on the schools admission criteria for the sibling rule.

Councils are aware of families moving near a good school, getting the eldest child in then moving further out but hoping to get younger siblings in.

I agree with your DH. Secondary schools are really important and usurps hosting requirements particularly if you live near a very good school already. Which year is your eldest in? Y4 or Y5?

Thanks - bathroom space is actually fine, as we have main bathroom, en-suite and also bathroom downstairs loo. It’s the one thing that is decent in our current house!

This is section 8. DS1 is year 4 so we still have a while to wait even if we move as soon as he gets a space.