AIBU to find city breaks absolutely exhausting?

[lightnesspixie]

Just that really. We are in our late 50s and relished the thought of European city breaks once the kids had left home. But we are finding that the reality - while nice - is utterly exhausting even if we try to pace ourselves. I’m certain it takes a week to get over them! Interested to hear how other fifty somethings find them …

I think the trap is feeling like you need to do everything when you’re there. But if you both break a lot you can return to the same place.

choose things you really want to see - boom a break near there. Do that and just wander/ potter. If something else you really wants to do comes up then book to go back as one of your other breaks - potter some more.

if you enjoy city breaks and plan to do more when you retire you can add a list of places to visit and tick them off. But don’t fall into the trap of thinking you need to do everything today or this trip. You could return in 5 years

I live in north London, so I have the option of Eurostar and onward train for many. Much easier if you don't fly, especially not using an airport.

How active are you at home? This is key I think.

Also yes to taking it easy. Lie in. Stop for a drink.

I think the trick for say a long weekend if you’re working is:

• somewhere with flights at decent times so you aren’t up at the crack of dawn or stressed out - eg leave home 10/11 Friday and be home by 8pm Sunday
• flight time under 2.5 hours
• transfer time under 45 mins or so
• a small city without too many “must sees” so you don’t feel pressured to run around ticking everything off
• plenty of time in bars / coffee shops / sunny squares just watching the world go by
• not feeling like you have to eat three square meals a day

We enjoy a variety of city breaks in UK & abroad

Example Abroad Europe via ferry
Last year we stayed on a campsite on the edge of a European city in our camper van. We bought a 3 day, public transport pass, 20 minute walk to use unlimited tram, bus, trains. We normally spend 10 to 12 hours per day in the city.
We also spent a week visiting smaller towns & stayed at a different campsite in the countryside.

Example UK
We have just returned from a UK break. We stayed in a B&B in a tiny village. We used this as a base to visit some small towns & one day in a city.

Example Abroad Asia
Due to the extreme heat, we have found that we have needed to drink one litre of liquid per hour to stay hydrated, while walking around for 12 hours.

Our favourite things to visit anywhere in the world are; any type of market, second hand, local food, something unique to that location, people watching, exhibitions, museums

Plenty of stops for liquid breaks & watch the world go by

We do not stay in Airbnb

I think there is also a need to be realistic about journey times and just accept the timings, current example, 2.5 hours to Gatwick, leaving us with only 10 minutes to get to the gates due to M25 closures the other day, 1.5 hours at passport control in Spain, 20 mins in taxi, meant 9 hours door to door by the time we arrived. And that was to family, we later travelled back into the city to our apartment , coming back should be around the same as we're in rush hour from Gatwick, that's exhausting to me!!!

My parents in their late 70s do city breaks - but they basically spend the time having coffees and cakes, a stroll around the shops, maybe one cultural activity, a nice long lunch somewhere. They just like to soak in a city, not feel like they have to tick off a load of things.

They also don’t tend to go for big cities, they’ll go to a nice French city like Carcasonne or St Tropez, they often visit us in Sydney and adore sitting in the sunshine drinking a long black before heading on the ferry to a bay for lunch.

Just find your own thing and don’t feel like you HAVE to do certain things.

I thought I was going to be slightly bored outside of the art galleries, which are extraordinary (and was planning trips out of town), but we had a really enjoyable time, ate really well, and loved the Santa Semana processions.

But there’s no ‘set’ time length for what constitutes a ‘city break’. I’m just back from one that lasted six days, and as we hadn’t booked our flights home (as DS and I flew from home to meet DH who was flying from a work trip in another country), we were contemplating extending it further and flying home from another city.

I no longer live in the UK, but I really miss Eurostar for all the non-flying options it gave us in our London days. We lived around the corner during its Waterloo days, would roll out of bed, get an early train, and be having breakfast with friends in Paris.

@Olinguita when you say you prefer to go somewhere for a week to ease in & orientate yourself, do you mean you prefer to go to a holiday resort?

I'm v v fair skinned & overheat & burn so have never enjoyed that type of holiday as I simply can't lie out in the sun & the there just isn't enough to do otherwise for me.

But I get that it's the ideal holiday for loads of people.

When dc were tiny we did lots of longer breaks where we sort of combined the best of all worlds- one year we did 10 days in Mallorca - 4 days in Palma City & 6 days in Port de Soller where dh & dc went to the beach & swam in the pool & I spent a lot of time on the balcony in the shade overlooking the bay, drinking coffee / wine & reading & we were all happy.

Other trips we did were 4 days in Venice followed by a week in an agritourismo close to Lake Garda so again we had the best of all worlds

Cities that have a beach are also fab for this - Malaga, Lisbon etc

We've been to cities in Australia & Canada & USA as well as all over Europe & they were longer trips

But we've also done a ton of short 4 day / 3 night trips too

@AreMyEyesGreen, your last post has just made me remember a conversation with the taxi driver who drove us home from the airport — he seemed quite perplexed by us having been in Madrid for a week, and said ‘It’s a city right? Funny, because you only think of Spain as all beaches’. Whereas the closest I’ve been to a Spanish beach, ever, is Barcelona.

@PowderRoom I know!
I've never been to a Spanish resort on the mainland but have been to Madrid for 5 days & Barcelona several times - the first twice were in December & February a few years apart so while we went to the marina it wasn't for the beach scene.
Malaga for a week a couple of times in October as there was a direct flight from our nearest small airport

We haven't really travelled a lot in Spain but there are cities I would like to visit - Seville, Granada etc. They're on the list but not at the top.

i also think it’s important to have some time on your own just to wander or have a coffee/drink - I find having someone else around 24/7 is a bit knackering

What is Malaga like, out of interest, @AreMyEyesGreen ? We’d been considering going there for a day or two and flying home from there, but couldn’t get a family room in the city for the nights we needed. I know it has good art, and I gather its Santa Semana processions are florid! Having got my head back into Spanish after a few days, I’m now dying to see more of Spain and thinking about a trip zigzagging about by train to see more of the country.

Oh also, planning fatigue is a thing… so if you’re going somewhere with just a couple of “must do things” and aren’t bothered about ticking boxes, just spend 10 minutes with chat gpt, refining a bit, then follow its suggested itinerary (restaurants etc included) exactly!

I find them tiring as well - for me the key is to stay as centrally as possible so we can go back to the accommodation for a rest if we need, take regular cafe breaks and we
like to book a hotel with a pool/ spa pool as it really helps to refresh and relax if we are feeling footsore after tramping around all day.

Never done a city break. Go away a minimum of a week. Never feels worth it for less.
A week goes quick enough as it is.

We went because we had family friends who moved there & our teenaged dc were friends & wanted to see each other so we went without huge expectations & enjoyed it far more than we thought we might

We went in October over a couple of years & the weather was ideal for us - around 18 / 20 degrees so super pleasant but not scorchio & it was busy & buzzy but far less so than highly season

We stayed in the same apartment each time in the old town & it was perfect for us. We were there a week each trip.

We got into a nice routine where dh would go out to get us coffees & churros in the mornings (he had his favourite spots) & I'd have a lie in. Then he'd head off to the beach for a swim & I'd shower / get ready & go for a long stroll through the old town. I'd bring my book & had some fav cafes I'd stop at for a coffee & people watching or reading

Dh would meet me for lunch & we'd have a beer / sangria etc & a stroll.

The first visit we did the galleries & museums - Picasso & moden art etc acc the roman ruins so didn't feel the need to repeat on subsequent trips. It was v relaxing.

Most days we'd go back to the apartment & have a siesta & shower etc before heading out for the evening. There are some beautiful wine bars & nice restaurants so we'd have a leisurely meal after a stroll & go for a late night drink. It's a late night kind of city.

In between all that we were meeting the teens & taking them for dinner etc

On our last trip we visited the hamman spa which was fabulous & a lovely treat.

It has a lot less of the stuff we generally love on a trip & it's closer to a 'week relaxing doing v little' than we usually do but we surprised ourselves by loving it

@PassingStranger we've regularly spent a week + in a city. I don't think there's a time limit..but i guess people associate it with a 3 night/ 4 day sort of trip.

Where do you enjoy going for a week?

I think the key is to plan to see what you want to do the most. Pace yourself and if there was anything you really missed return another time.
Stay within Europe

Agree.. always loads of walking

Well yes, on city breaks you cram a lot more into a day than you'd normally do at home, plus you'll be eating and drinking a lot more than usual at restaurants, bars etc.

Holidays generally exhaust me, and city breaks particularly so - but I don't go on them to relax. If I wanted to relax I'd do it at home.

@PowderRoom malaga is absolutely fantastic. Try and go to the Hammam baths while you’re there.

I disagree. We do and see so much it always feels like longer.

New York- ferry over to beaches on Jersey. Coney Island etc There’s a tiny little beach are in Brooklyn with amazing views of the Manhatten skyline.