Only a private school is good enough for my darling baby girl

[Dellspoem]

I can’t afford private school, I never thought I would think like this, but here I am fantasising about giving up my career in academia for a teaching gig at Jags or similar so that my precious baby can have the best.

I think it might be my area (Brixton) but the local schools have no greenery, are overcrowded and hectic, and when I’ve visited I’ve just not had a great feeling about them. The area itself is under a flight path, it’s so polluted and urgh I wish I lived in a giant house in a leafy suburb, sent my darling children to independent school and got whisked away to the maldives during half term.

I didn't take it as a boast at all. Just facts. 🤷‍♀️

To be honest op, unless your discipline in academia is stem, getting out now to teach in an independent is probably not a bad idea. They tend to offer about 66.66% remission on fees. If your discipline is humanities related in a post 92, your redundancy package might cover the first year's fees if you hang on much longer that is.

@ThatNimblePeer Private schools are about social connections and getting to know wealthy parents with high flying jobs who will then offer your darling baby girl an internship/first job in whatever field she likes when she is looking for one. I’m afraid info you can get off the internet (?) isn’t going to cut it.

Yes sorry, you are right, I forgot about the nepotism/cronyism culture. Studying hard doesn't really achieve anything, it's all about having the right contacts and connections. I've seen people who are thick as shit getting the right jobs just because of their friendship circles, or their attractive appearance.

This was last November!

It's still a lot different to the 80s & 90s...

Why are private schools so popular in the UK

Normal school for my family. 4 of us in medicine and 1 other siblings is a pilot.

Tongue in cheek, it may be, but we all do try to give the best to our kids. As much as possible.

Private schools come in all kinds of shapes and have varying results.

Teaching at Jags could be a way, of course.
You can also move (sell? buy in better catchment?) Or rent out your place and rent in a better catchment for primary. Prep your kid for grammar, if she turns out academic - which is likely, of course.
There are also scholarships at secondaries.

Good luck.

Classism.

I sense, joking aside, the feeling is very real for OP. I don't think it's unreasonable to feel that way. If you're smart about it, it's possible. You just have to lose the "it's unfair" mentality, roll up your sleeves and get to it. And then sit there smug as hell that you didn't pay full fees (because you were smart about it) and could instead holiday in the Maldives...
Don't follow the crowd otherwise you meet the same obstacles. You've got to carve your own way

You've chosen to live in zone 2 of one of the most expensive cities in the world, you are an academic, so are not tied to London yet you say there is no greenery? Just sell your house in Brixton and move probably anywhere else. With the price difference you could probably afford private school and a big house

Not in my naice village it doesn't. The most exciting thing we've had was a dog running down the main street in a pair of striped boxer shorts. Never did get to the bottom of that.

( Thinks: Maybe they were Boxer shorts? 🤔).

All children are different. Not all children are capable or willing of accessing that information. Ditto their parents/carers. And even if the parents/carers are, the children aren’t always ready to learn from or with them. My dd was unable to access education in a meaningful way in her former state secondary school. She changed to private school in year 9 as she needed a nurturing, caring, smaller and individualistic environment to thrive. She wasn’t making noises at her former state school - in fact quite the opposite as she was silent in most of the lessons, unable to concentrate and learn - so her needs didn’t even touch their radar.

That is too simplistic as an answer. Some people are able to maximise their potential whatever the environment whereas others are not.

Like I said in the post about strange places the other day….. you’ve never been to Bacup… (and we still have the 11 plus grammar system also…) pissing in a bin is mild, you wanna see shagging in a bus shelter! Yes miss W, I absolutely mean you!!!! In case (which I doubt but who knows?) she is on here!!! lol (not lol).

She might have excelled the same. My DD got 12 x grade 9’s at her state school.

If you live in Brixton then you can easily sell your house, buy a cheaper one in the leafy suburbs and send your daughter to private school.

Not sure primary schools in Dulwich are oversubscribed anymore. There are not as many children as they used to be. DVI is very good, goes only until year 2.

The others are ok/good. Not perfect but better than your choices in Brixton perhaps?

I do think think JAGS or Alleyns are perfect either. Sending the kids there when you can barely afford it is a mistake.

People will be rude to you on here, but it’s a normal feeling to want the very best for your child and dream of giving them the very best opportunities. 7% of children in the UK go to private schools. That’s a lot that don’t.

People move house all the time for schools, is this an option for you?

Personally I would prioritise secondary schools over primary

Wow just wow , who do you think you are?

I’ve become obsessed with getting a job at a private school in the countryside so we can live onsite & DCs can attend. I’ve never worked in education so this is pure fantasy but in my head I’m going to be running Marlborough pretty soon…

I would also move area rather than send the children to private school. Brrixton has always been quite rough in my opinion (last time I was there was a year ago and someone threw feaces out the window) and I wouldn't want that to be my kids surroundings regardless of where they went to school.

I am not against private schools at all and my kids when to a mixture of state and private, but if they aren't going to be safe walking home from the bus or tube then I'd rather just leave even if it meant changing your lifestyle completely.

So does Kent 👍

What's wrong with wishing for something better for her kids?

You say your career is in academia - there are universities all over the UK, why not move out of London where you could afford to live somewhere leafier?