To think my Grandmothers' kids could try harder?

[PurpleSky300]

So my Grandmother is 90 and is lucky to be in great health for her age. She has a good social life, plays piano and violin and she's always got something in her diary. She keeps up to date with all the family news etc.

I have just realised, lately, that her grandchildren are her main 'family' visitors. She has 3 children (60, 65, 68) - and they just don't seem to put much effort in? She's such good company and so funny, when I go over there is always wine and cake at the ready and she makes an effort to remember key things about my life, she never misses a birthday or a big moment. But when I try and broach the idea of visiting her to my Dad (her son), or my aunts, they just seem less interested or they say "I can phone and that's enough.... she's got a lot of friends, doesn't need me" etc.

I feel like her relative health and her 'active' life has sort of made them complacent and they don't realise how fortunate they are to have their Mum still around. It's not a long drive to see her. But I also wonder if there could be something 'beneath the surface' here for them to make so little effort? Maybe I've over-stepping, it just feels strange to me.

I think we don't ever really know the details of other people's relationships and that whereas someone might be a lovely grandparent, as a parent they may not have been.
No child owes their parent anything. I often think that we can expect to be treated in our old age how we treated our children in their childhoods. My parents were always outraged that their friend's children didn't have much to do with him, and yet had plenty of stories to tell about what a difficult man he was. I think it was absolutely their right to keep their distance. As it is all of your grandmother's children keeping their distance I'd say there is probably more to it. Enjoy your own relationship with your grandmother.

I think you don’t know what type of mother she was when they were young.
Social butterfly types sometimes prioritise their life/friends over their children.
They know she is old, if they wanted to see her they would. The fact that all 3 of them feel the same about her probably indicates there is a lot more to it that you don’t know.

This, a social butterfly who prioritises wine and cake at the ready may not have been a fabulous, warm mother to a small child.

They're not close to her and I'm sure they have their reasons. Concentrate on your own relationship with your Grandmother and leave them to deal with theirs.

Some people are better grandparents than mothers, mine is so wonderful I want her to be my grandmother again in my next life.
Let your parent and their siblings have the relationship they want and enjoy her for yourself.