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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour

45 replies

Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 10:09

I could really use some advice! I really don’t want to be a ‘Karen’ but our neighbours across from us have had a double mattress on the side of their house for a year now. My partner and I thought they would have disposed of it so didn't pay much attention to it but a year later and it’s still there, festering away!
I hate confrontation and don’t want my partner to say anything to my neighbours because I don’t think it’ll be dealt with a positive outcome. My question is, would you complain to the council about it or would you just suck it up and not do anything? It’s not affecting my health but it does make me cringe every time I see it and I’ve also noticed other people commenting on it. Any advice would be great!

OP posts:
AhBiscuits · 20/04/2025 10:11

It's not on your property. It's not a healtth hazard. As much as you don't like it, it's none of your business and the council won't be interested.

PonyPatter44 · 20/04/2025 10:11

Cringing is very bad for your posture. Assuming the festering mattress isn't impinging on your property at all, just do your best to ignore it. Noone thinks, there's a manky old mattress therefore everyone else who lives in this street must be Onslow and Daisy types as well.

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

CheesyRaver · 20/04/2025 10:16

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

This

Thewholeplaceglitters · 20/04/2025 10:17

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

This

Wanderdust · 20/04/2025 10:18

Does the Council do free pick ups for stuff like this? Could you just order one?! They'll never know it's you, and doesn't sound like they are going to use it for anything!

Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 10:19

Wanderdust · 20/04/2025 10:18

Does the Council do free pick ups for stuff like this? Could you just order one?! They'll never know it's you, and doesn't sound like they are going to use it for anything!

Edited

This is what I was wondering too. I could enquire about that!

OP posts:
LlynTegid · 20/04/2025 10:22

You should be speaking to them about it. Not going behind their back. Agree about finding out if the Council will take it away for free.

bigboykitty · 20/04/2025 10:27

Yes please don't use the misogynistic 'Karen' slur.

MyUmberSeal · 20/04/2025 10:29

OP, aside from with word ‘karen’, it’s skanky as fuck for your neighbours to have left a mattress out that long. I’d be pissed off but wouldn’t confront. Check out the local council website and see what can be done.

Edited to add, that if the mattress is actually on their property, however unsavoury it looks, not a whole lot you can do.

celandiney · 20/04/2025 10:31

Cursory · 20/04/2025 10:16

YABU for using the term ‘Karen’.

Also this! Awful term.
But re the mattress the only negative effect on you is that you don't like it. I don't like the plastic imitation "plants on trellis" that seem to be everywhere now but in RL you just have to sigh and get on with your life...

BejewelledCat · 20/04/2025 10:33

If it is bothering you, why not offer to take it to the tip for them?

BethDuttonYeHaw · 20/04/2025 10:36

Any advice ? Yes educate yourself about why using the term Karen is fucking awful.

DameMargaretofChalfont · 20/04/2025 10:40

I'd rather have a neighbour with a mattress on their property than a neighbour who uses misogynistic terms such as "a Karen".

Take a look at yourself OP before you start complaining about others.

DisplayPurposesOnly · 20/04/2025 10:42

If it is bothering you, why not offer to take it to the tip for them?

Yep.

AutumnAir82 · 20/04/2025 11:11

Maybe mind your own business?

Endofyear · 20/04/2025 11:38

Maybe just mind your own business?

Lurkingandlearning · 20/04/2025 11:57

Well Karen, I assume that is your name and you just don’t like it. Where was I? Oh yeah… Karen, most councils charge for removing large items including mattresses. Around £20. Maybe your neighbours can’t afford that. Apparently, some people are living at subsistence level. They may well look out at that mattress and be as troubled by it as you are, Karen. Perhaps you could talk to them and ask them if they would like you to get it removed for them. Whatever the cost to you I’m sure would be a small price for the improved aesthetics for your community. Have a perfect day, Karen.

PashaMinaMio · 20/04/2025 12:04

BejewelledCat · 20/04/2025 10:33

If it is bothering you, why not offer to take it to the tip for them?

As above. I’d say I’m going on a tip run so can I help them by taking the mattress? It might galvanise them?

Apart from it looking dreadful, ask yourself, “what harm is it doing me (apart from being unsightly?”)

We can all experience neighbour issues but unless my neighbours do something harmful to me, mine or my property, I stay out of it. Makes for a much calmer life.

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 12:20

People pearl clutching about Karen need to get a grip. There are many idioms that use proper names, from Peeping Tom to Nervous Nellie to Dick to Achilles heel to Jack of all trades, just as the tip of the iceberg.

OP, I’d post an anonymous note AND complain to council before rats start nesting in it.

Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:12

BejewelledCat · 20/04/2025 10:33

If it is bothering you, why not offer to take it to the tip for them?

I’m 39 weeks pregnant so not really up for carting a double mattress to the trip at the min but thanks for that suggestion.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:15

TheHerboriste · 20/04/2025 12:20

People pearl clutching about Karen need to get a grip. There are many idioms that use proper names, from Peeping Tom to Nervous Nellie to Dick to Achilles heel to Jack of all trades, just as the tip of the iceberg.

OP, I’d post an anonymous note AND complain to council before rats start nesting in it.

Thank you! Genuinely didn’t mean to offend anyone but clearly have 🫣 I’ll rephrase it, I don’t want to come across as a nagging neighbour (fingers crossed that’s an acceptable phrase) but I do see an issue with leaving a mattress outside your house for 12 months but clearly many people think otherwise 😬.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tee1991 · 20/04/2025 13:16

Lurkingandlearning · 20/04/2025 11:57

Well Karen, I assume that is your name and you just don’t like it. Where was I? Oh yeah… Karen, most councils charge for removing large items including mattresses. Around £20. Maybe your neighbours can’t afford that. Apparently, some people are living at subsistence level. They may well look out at that mattress and be as troubled by it as you are, Karen. Perhaps you could talk to them and ask them if they would like you to get it removed for them. Whatever the cost to you I’m sure would be a small price for the improved aesthetics for your community. Have a perfect day, Karen.

Wow.

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 20/04/2025 13:17

Of all things to complain about nuisance neighbours this has surely got to be near the bottom of the list

my council charges £50 for bulky rubbish removal for between 1 and 4 items, they don’t do it for free. Maybe you and all the other neighbours commenting could find another 3 items you want removing and ask them if they want to chip in with the mattress

they are well within their rights to tell you to sod off!

Liz1tummypain · 20/04/2025 13:19

All I can think of is to try and get friendly with them. after a while you might be able to work it into a conversation. Good luck 🤞