There are quite a few threads which seem to attract what (I hope) are goady responses. The OP has a dilemma - a wedding guest, a neighbour, a friend, all of whom want something from the OP- and sooner or later, up pop the ‘be kind, you bitch’ brigade
Everything becomes a golden opportunity to give to others, set aside your own problems, needs and desires, and prioritise a random stranger over your own family and especially yourself. And if you don’t prioritise the needs of a child, particularly one you didn’t know existed until five minutes ago, then ‘I could never do that to a child and I don’t know how you can live with yourself’ Because while there is an iota of suffering and discomfort in the world it is the duty of every woman to alleviate it and if she doesn’t she’s an evil privileged cow.
Are posts written by men who hate women, women who hate themselves, people who hate everyone, masochists? Who is it that really thinks like that? Do you never put yourselves first, is there nothing you wouldn’t cancel or go without or risk ruining because someone else is in greater need of your time, money or attention?
Saying ‘no’ is fine. If your friend can’t come to your wedding without bringing a child, then no is a perfectly acceptable response, no matter how traumatised the child and how good for their rehab your wedding would be. If your neighbour knocks on your door and wakes your kids because they can’t get their phone to work, no is absolutely fine, and I’d add a ‘never knock on my door after 6pm again’ for good measure.
if you really would put anyone and everyone before yourselves, what virtue or quality is it that you think you’re exemplifying, and do you ever think of the effect this might have on your nearest and dearest who are often expected to share in your self sacrifice?