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Original poster

Loft conversion intrusive thoughts

19 replies

toastwithbutter · 20/04/2025 07:05

We’ve got a beautiful new loft conversion on our Victorian home.

However I’m struggling to enjoy it due to intrusive thoughts about it collapsing on our sleeping children below. The structural engineer never actually came to site, just worked off the plans - so in my head I think how does he know how deep our footings are? How does he know our walls can take the weight load?

Our house is a solid 1900 Victorian build and lots of neighbours have similar conversions. I need to get these horrible thoughts out of my head and stop lying awake at night worrying.

Has anyone experienced similar or any SE’s out there to settle my mind?

We went through all the proper channels with architects, SE and building control.

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 20/04/2025 07:11

If you're really concerned you can commission a structural engineer. You could talk to your builders. Presumably you had reputable professionals and builders in the first place? It sounds like anxiety to me but that doesn't mean you can't get some solid reassurance, sleep and peace of mind are important.

Oldmothershrubboard · 20/04/2025 07:13

Have the council been out to sign it off?

CalypsoCuthbertson · 20/04/2025 07:15

Nothing wrong with getting it checked out.

But also consider that the intrusive thoughts could be anxiety about something else. Maybe a self-sabotaging kind of thing, or a nervousness about getting something you wanted and being able to hold onto it? Limiting belief type thing.

verycloakanddaggers · 20/04/2025 07:22

It's helpful to just accept the reasons why you have these thoughts, rather than trying to chase the thoughts away.

'That's an intrusive thought caused by the fact I want to protect my kids from harm.'

Practically speaking, is your loft conversion actually much heavier than an unconverted loft full of boxes?

Did the construction get signed off for building regs?

Original poster
toastwithbutter · 20/04/2025 07:25

Yep, all finished and signed off. We did it all properly so I have no reason for these thoughts. They stemmed from a friend commenting that she couldn’t have a loft conversion as she would be worried about it collapsing in the night. A simple throwaway comment that has meant I now don’t sleep at night (ridiculous I know!)

I think I’ll have a a chat with the SE we used for reassurance.

I do suffer with anxiety from time to time!

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 20/04/2025 07:32

I don’t think you would get building control sign off unless you could evidence the joists were able to load bare.
When we had a wall removed we had to provide photo’s of each stage (steal with measurements, pink plasterboard etc.) otherwise they wouldn’t have signed it off.

Maray1967 · 20/04/2025 07:32

But would your friend only live in a bungalow because she is worried about the first floor collapsing on to the ground floor during the day? !! What a ridiculous thing for her to say!

OP, it might be very helpful to get a structural engineer out to confirm safety - and then enjoy your lovely new loft. Ours was done in 2001…

Rocknrollstar · 20/04/2025 07:34

Our loft conversion was done over 30 years ago and has not collapsed. There are steel joists across the top of the original house and the loft conversion lies on top of that.

Clairey1986 · 20/04/2025 07:34

Bless you. I agree speaking to someone (and ask them to come out) to help put your mind at ease will be worth any fee.

That said sometimes these things don’t help, in which case please get yourself to your GP.

Whynotaxthisyear · 20/04/2025 07:35

If building regs were followed, you are fine. This sounds like an anxiety issue which may transfer somewhere else if you don’t find some way of supporting yourself with it.

Superhansrantowindsor · 20/04/2025 07:36

Op- you sound like me. I have general anxiety disorder. This is the sort of thing a few years ago that would keep me up at night but I’m on medication now.
Please think carefully - how many times have you read in the paper or seen on the news that a house collapsed because of a loft conversion? I bet never. There is no way it would have been signed off if unsafe - people would lose their jobs. If you are still worried then get a structural engineer in but I don’t think you should because it means you will then be giving in to your intrusive thoughts.

FigTreeInEurope · 20/04/2025 07:36

I take my ten year old rock climbing. It took him about three months to genuinely accept that the ropes weren't going to snap, or that he'd fall to his death some other way. Sometimes it takes a bit of time for intrusive thoughts to fade, and for the brain to accept something new. It doesn't matter how irrational it might seem, your loft will most certainly be safe, but give yourself time to accept the change, and recognise that you have a fully functioning sense of self preservation.

abracadabra1980 · 20/04/2025 07:39

Do you do regular fire drills within your family and home? If not, put it into perspective. You are more likely to have a fire than the roof collapsing if you've taken all the required H&S steps along the way.

Comtesse · 20/04/2025 07:40

No need for an engineer, better off talking to the GP about anxiety I think. Your friend’s comment was ludicrous to start with, but for you to still be worrying about it is worth taking action.

NewsdeskJC · 20/04/2025 08:47

What do you normally do to settle your anxiety?
I do the "there's that unhelpful thought again" and I note the time of it.

ChicaWowWow · 20/04/2025 09:43

toastwithbutter · 20/04/2025 07:25

Yep, all finished and signed off. We did it all properly so I have no reason for these thoughts. They stemmed from a friend commenting that she couldn’t have a loft conversion as she would be worried about it collapsing in the night. A simple throwaway comment that has meant I now don’t sleep at night (ridiculous I know!)

I think I’ll have a a chat with the SE we used for reassurance.

I do suffer with anxiety from time to time!

Not ridiculous at all, completely understandable. I have those thoughts all the time, and have massive anxiety around the safety of my house (without reason, I have generalised anxiety and it used to ruin my enjoyment of life, now in therapy to have the upper hand on it).

Original poster
toastwithbutter · 20/04/2025 13:58

Some really helpful advice here thanks so much everyone.

OP posts:
AquaPeer · 20/04/2025 14:02

I know lots of people who have thought the same, it’s anxiety but really common. My friend had the same thing on a normal double level extension

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