Finding the willpower to change my lifestyle and habits

[miniegghead]

How? I am almost 40. Two stone overweight. Really poor physical fitness. I have a bad diet and hate the way I look. I feel like I’ve aged a lot in the past few years and I don’t like shopping or really going anywhere that requires wearing more than leggings or baggy tops because I’m so self conscious about my figure.

But it’s all my own fault. I eat crap. I drink too much. I don’t exercise (other than a short walk everyday). Every week I promise myself this is the week I’ll make changes but by Wednesday I’ve slipped back into my usual habits. I just have no willpower. If I’m hungry I just forget all of the promises I’ve made to myself and binge on whatever is available. If I tell myself I won’t drink during the week I get to Thursday and think oh fuck it. It’s just an endless cycle of the same old habits and I have no idea how to break them.

I work and have two dc and by the time they are in bed I have no energy to do anything than fall on the sofa.

I just need a total overhaul of my mindset and habits. Has anyone else managed to get themselves out of this kind of rut? Does it get easier as dc grow up and you get a little more time and independence back? I know my health isn’t great and I need to start looking after myself but even the small goals I set for myself feel so hard to work towards right now.

I know that healthy eating and daily exercise is the complete norm for some people. For me it’s an effort and one that I don’t seem to be able to maintain for more than a few days. I’m really starting to hate myself not just because of how I look but how pathetic my willpower is.

Cut out breakfast and eat a healthy protein and veg based lunch. This aligns well with being as busy as you are. This will leave you quite a lot of calories for dinner.

cut out all alcohol and chocolate/cakes/biscuits/crisps.

basically give yourself 500 calories for lunch and 1000 calories for dinner. Unless you’re very short, this should get you losing weight even without much exercise.

I’ve found it easier to do small changes like going swimming before work twice a week. That means that I don’t have a drink the night before so I feel fresh and ready to drive in the morning. Then after a while I added in taking a healthy breakfast with me.

Just thinking back to when my DC were little. I was a sahm so that made it much easier.

DH left for work at 7.30, so at 6am I went for a long walk and after a few months started to run. DC would wake up when I got back. This was literally the only way to have time to myself.

I then started doing Gillian Michaels workouts (this was the late 2000s!) which involved a DVD. You are very lucky that you can just use YouTube now!

Food wise I did weight watchers after each child. This was so easy as I pretty much ate the same thing every day. After DC2, I did it at the same time as a friend and we spurred each other on and made had each others back when we were at the park and craving a bacon sandwich.

Mine are teens now and I work full time. At this point in life it's all about prep. I prep my breakfast, lunch and snacks. I am not bothered about eating dinner so just nibble while I'm prepping for family to eat.

I think it sounds like you need an achievable plan that can adapt every few weeks.

Echo the PP who suggests a dieticianbor nutritionist. Or if not financially viable, I recommend following Dominique Ludwig on the socials. She is a nutritionist but not faddy. She does have programmes to sign up to but I follow her free content.