I am being made to feel bad for working part time with young kids

[Chocstrawberry1]

My sister has married a very well off man. He’s a good guy and we all get on generally.

My DH worked really hard to support us whilst I was off work to look after our 2 young kids (under 3). I have recently gone back to work 2 days a week to help financially with the household income and save abit too. My kids are at grandparents and nursery 1 day each.

My sister has recently been making remarks about how she would never go back to work after having a child (they don’t have any yet) and how it’s sad I have to go back as my husband should be sustaining us. I don’t usually let these comments get to me but I can tell she’s looking down on us. In this day and age it’s very rare that one parent can stay off work after kids permanently.

Should I speak to her about this?

Except for what you pay into your pension and NICs

Also the job security after childcare is no longer needed and not having to start again at the bottom after a few years out.

Your sister is a bitch but i suppose it's easy to chat shit when your children are imaginary...!

I work full time with 2 kids just gone and almost 3.

its a shag but i make 200k per annum and my job doesnt exist as a pt job
I get a lot from working beyond the obvious cash which isn't as much as you think after tax and pension but part funds our nice home and provides savings / financial security but I wish I had your set up.

Everyone is making their choices ... sadly your sister choice seems to be to act like a complete dickhead.

I'd be giving her a wide berth.

Returning to work after mat leave can be hard be kind to yourself...

Well I wanted to stay at home with my children so it was helpful to express it that way. It didn't make sense to force myself back to work in order to pay someone else to care for my children when I wanted to do it myself. I do not regret it.

I wouldn't judge anyone's decisions but for us we did exactly that and I thoroughly enjoyed the time to bond and get to know our kids thru the young years until school. What works for one family might not for another

When he runs off with his younger secretary in 10 years time your sister is going to be fucked. I'd be angry if I was you she sounds very thoughtless. You're doing the right thing. Women need to have financial independence. Ignore her snarky comments. She is trying to make you feel small. I'm guessing she's not very happy with her lot if she has to take pot shots at you. Rise above it OP.

I haven't gone back to work yet and my youngest is 5, I will only be working part time when I do go back. I can't imagine judging someone for doing different though? It totally depends on circumstances and what works for their family

1 in every 4 households with children depend on a single parent, and 89% of those are single mums. I do think it's worth considering what happens if the only earner in the household leaves.

I wouldn't speak to her. It's very hard to change people's views generally

Just live your life confident in your own decision. It's between you and your partner how you support each other, face the world together and raise your children.

Should I speak to her about this?

Yes. You could start by pointing out that there are a lot of words for women who live off men, none of them pleasant.

Tbh I don’t think you have the kindest way to talk about other people either. Sponge off husband? Plenty of couples are a team where one earns more than another and they are happy to rely on their spouse

Don't defend yourself.

Just say, 'oh, I thought we were friends. I hadn't realised you were so unkind'.

Ignorance is bliss. After a couple of kids she might be desperate to get out of the house for a few hours.
You do you.

What would she think of women who work full time whose kids are in nursery full time?! Part time sounds ideal for you and your family. Don't let her put you off. She sounds like a judgemental snob tbh

Tell her to piss off.

But also, you can’t win. I read your thread title and thought “I wonder if this will be a woman being made to feel bad for “only” working part time, or a woman being made to feel bad for working at all” because people will judge both. So just do what works for your family and ignore everyone else.

The view must be so much better up on that high horse.

My sister has married a very well off man.

Some people can afford to not go back to work because they marry money.

Your sister is a dick.