Name change for this. Also sorry for the rubbish title, I should've made it more specific!!
DH and I both work. DH is the breadwinner. We pool all finances and live from one pot of money.
When I started my job, I was clear with my employer that one of my DC has health needs and requires regular therapy/treatments. Since birth, I have always done all of my child's healthcare management - DH didn't have the capacity to come to all of my child's healthcare appointments because of his work and I have always been the primary caregiver, which is fine.
I am in the position where DCs appointments are, for a period, a little more frequent and require me to have more time off because they are undergoing a couple of operations.
Recently, when I tell my employer that I am needing to take more parental leave (with over 4 weeks notice) I am starting to feel like this is a burden, despite it being my right, because they aren't happily saying it's ok for me to take that family time any more. My boss is cold, short and acts like it's an inconvenience that I need more parental leave (for which I am legally entitled. I don't exceed the legal amount at any time). We have no family where we live to help and quite frankly my DC wants me there (and no one else) when they are having their treatment and recovering, because I am their mummy!
I am feeling sad that work is so awkward. Other people at work share the parenting burden with their OH when their children are poorly, but if DH took unpaid parental leave for our DC then we'd lose huge chunks of his salary, which we rely on to pay the mortgage because he is the breadwinner. My monthly income doesn't even cover the mortgage!
Aibu to feel guilty and bad?
Yabu - Its my legal right to work and also have parental leave, so I should just stand firm and ignore my employers cold shoulder, without guilt, and think of my child first?
Or yanbu as it's a bit inflexible that you have no backup childcare support - I ought to try and cut my hours or consider finding a different job altogether that is zero hours / casual contract because it isn't fair on your colleagues.