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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want DH to finish a dispruptive DIY job roughly on time OR hire a man to do it?

22 replies

Spidermama · 16/05/2008 18:13

He always does this. He insists on doing everything himself then turns my home into a very messy building site for months on end.

There's always some reason, unexpected work cropping up, kids being demanding ...

All his jobs go so far over schedule and what really annoys me is that when I dare to gingerly mention it or ask what the new projected timescale is now we've crossed two deadlines, he gets all huffy and defensive.

I wish he'd just hire a fucking man to get the job done and have done with it.

OP posts:
fransmom · 16/05/2008 18:15

could you do hire someone?

Original poster
Spidermama · 16/05/2008 18:19

I was sorely tempted while he was away these last few days. The problem is he's halfway through a construction job and I doubt anyone would do it, erm, quite like he is doing it shall we say. So they'd be unwilling to take over.

OP posts:
fransmom · 16/05/2008 18:22

have to go sorry pc time about to expire will check back soon xxx

fransmom · 16/05/2008 18:22

have to go sorry pc time about to expire will check back soon xxx

saffy202 · 16/05/2008 18:44

Oh my dh is like this! No-one could ever do as good a job as he could

My kitchen took four years to finish and after that I forbid him to even attempt to do the bathroom

Seashell71 · 16/05/2008 19:01

Spidermama, sounds like you've married my dh! Because of the way he is, we were without central heating for nearly 2 years, with no bathroom for a couple of months and no kitchen for several months. He's a complete fucking nightmare to get things done, and like you say he's always got some excuse for not getting on with what needs to be done and gets all arsey when you bring it up...
My dear I have no solution, just a lot of sympathy for you.Of course you do know that he won't accept you paying someone to get the job done as he's got pride and doesn't trust anyone else to do things properly.

At the moment we have little things that have to be sorted around the house (we're trying to sell it) but I just know he'll never get around to do any of the, so we just have to accept a lower offer toi make up for it.

(((( HUGS ))))

Original poster
Spidermama · 17/05/2008 18:45

Ah thanks for your support girls. It's good to know I'm not alone.

OP posts:
bluefox · 17/05/2008 18:50

I am like this - it can take me six months to decorate a room. Just finished the living room which I think I started by painting the ceiling last November! Try not to stress about it these things do eventually get finished.

VictorianSqualor · 17/05/2008 18:58

Who am I confusing Spidermama with?

Klaw · 17/05/2008 19:05

My dp is a self employed jack of all trades. Jobs ALWAYS run on. I suggest that he thinks of a timescale when estimatign and then quadruple it cos that's how long it will ACTUALLY take. Orders turn up and they're wrong, customers change their mind or else add things on.....

Not one room in my house is finished, and I've had it 5 years. I did as much as I could but have not the skills to do more.

We have an alabatross a property we're doing up to sell, but it's taking YEARS. I've stripped/sanded/painted where I could, and I'm still waiting for the all clear to go back and do more work in rooms, but need him to clear them of all the crapola that's in them, so that I can actually get in to work. I can't move the stuff as a lot is too heavy, where would I put it and I daren't interfere with his 'system'.

Because of all the stress that working to survive and finding time to work on property he is not interested in bd, we are both shattered every night and I see my chances of having another child slipping away....

So no, yanbu but perhaps a little overoptimistic! At least you know from other pp that you are not alone, we can commiserate together

Original poster
Spidermama · 17/05/2008 19:34

Who's LP Squalor?

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 17/05/2008 19:40

lone parent, I'm mixing you up with someone else though obviously or dh wouldn't be in trouble

(YANBU BTW)

WilfSell · 17/05/2008 19:53

I have given up haranguing. I just hire a bloke in and don't tell him these days.

He hates it at first and then comes round when he realises they are paid to be experts and he, er, is not.

Nagapie · 17/05/2008 19:58

I would hire out and get the job done properly

  1. there is a guarantee if the job falls apart
  2. if you want to sell later on, the job will at least have lasted and be done properly... you can pick up bad diy so easily and it does put buyers off...
Dior · 17/05/2008 20:06

Message withdrawn

WilfSell · 17/05/2008 20:09

you must be very proud of your lovely hakk

Dior · 17/05/2008 20:22

Message withdrawn

Klaw · 17/05/2008 20:30

Oh to get my hakk painted.......

Dior · 17/05/2008 20:30

Message withdrawn

ivykaty44 · 17/05/2008 20:33

sounds like the cobblers children to me

Threaten if he doesn't do it you will not get a man in you will diy it yourself.... that should get him moving - if it doesn't sneak a man ain and take the credit!!

MrsJohnCusack · 17/05/2008 20:40

my father was like this and it drove us all nuts

when the house was finally more or less finished after about 25 years, they SOLD it (and then the buyers completely redid it anyway)

so YANBU
I do the DIY in our house now thank goodness (I learnt a lot over those 25 years...mainly about how NOT to do things)

Janni · 17/05/2008 20:48

I heard of a couple who hosted a 'wardrobe doors party' when he finally completed the job, 20 years after starting to install fitted wardrobes. They invited the entire street to come and look!

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