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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Handyman wanting to bring partner

23 replies

MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:40

I found a handyman through a friend’s recommendation and arranged for him to come and do a really small job in the garden, but one which would take me forever to do myself. We ending up pushing the day onto the next because something hadn’t arrived which he would need, then he didn’t turn up the next day but messaged at the time he was due to be at my house to say his partner was in hospital but he would come first thing the next day. The next day came and didn’t hear until later, then got a few messages to say they were held up at the hospital. Fine, these things happen. Anyway, now I’m getting messages from the partner to say that he’s broken his phone but he can come tomorrow, is that ok. So I said it was but now she’s said she’s coming too, hasn’t asked - just told me. Is this weird? She’s just messaged for my address and I’m wondering if this is some sort of scam so haven’t resent it (it was on his broken phone), just not sure about it. Ultimately they would only be in the garden and perhaps he wants her there to keep an eye if she’s been unwell? AIBU to think this is odd and maybe to not go ahead? Feels like I might as well have just done it myself at this point!.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 18/04/2025 22:46

Put a stop to this nonsense, pay him and get rid. It's not convenient but this is ridiculous.

MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:47

Right? I feel exhausted from it.

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Seagreensmokeyblue · 18/04/2025 22:47

You must be very patient because you seem to have been messed about regarding this job.
I would have given up on the handyman by now and actually quite worried by this turn of events where somebody who you don't know at all is asking you for your address.
I would definitely not be giving any details out to a complete stranger whose identity you know nothing about.
I would do the job myself or look for someone reliable.

NineteenSeventyNine · 18/04/2025 22:48

Madness. Ask for his bank details to pay for the work so far then pay, block and delete!

MinnieGirl · 18/04/2025 22:49

I would say somethings come up and tomorrow is not convenient and you will let him know… and just get someone else in. Or do it yourself.

2025willbemytime · 18/04/2025 22:49

Gettingbysomehow · 18/04/2025 22:46

Put a stop to this nonsense, pay him and get rid. It's not convenient but this is ridiculous.

Why should she pay him? He's done nothing.

MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:49

He hasn’t done any work so far as he’s never turned up. I try to see the good in people but this has been a joke.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 18/04/2025 22:51

MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:49

He hasn’t done any work so far as he’s never turned up. I try to see the good in people but this has been a joke.

Exactly. So you don’t need to pay him anything. Don’t give her the address. Not convenient now and then ignore.

Gettingbysomehow · 18/04/2025 22:51

2025willbemytime · 18/04/2025 22:49

Why should she pay him? He's done nothing.

I thought he had done some work. Only pay him for what he's actually done.

MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:54

MinnieGirl · 18/04/2025 22:51

Exactly. So you don’t need to pay him anything. Don’t give her the address. Not convenient now and then ignore.

Good advice, I’m going to do that

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MaryLouWho · 18/04/2025 22:55

Thank you all, I thought it was a bit odd but you’ve opened my eyes which is what I needed!

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healthybychristmas · 18/04/2025 22:57

Just send a message saying sorry I've had someone else do the job now. Then block them.

BeardofHagrid · 18/04/2025 23:19

They sounded really untrustworthy and sketchy. Glad you’re rid of them.

RedHelenB · 19/04/2025 01:05

But he must already have your address OP ?

MaryLouWho · 19/04/2025 07:45

RedHelenB · 19/04/2025 01:05

But he must already have your address OP ?

He does but apparently his phone is broken which is why the partner is now messaging. I’ve messaged to say something has come up and will do it myself I think

OP posts:
Passthecake30 · 19/04/2025 07:57

Does his partner work with him?

tanstaafl · 19/04/2025 08:29

Say your partner has had to go to hospital so it’s not convenient right now.

MaryLouWho · 19/04/2025 08:33

Passthecake30 · 19/04/2025 07:57

Does his partner work with him?

Not as far as I’m aware, all conversations were just with him with no mention of her until this weekend. My friend said it was just him who did the work for her.

OP posts:
MaryLouWho · 19/04/2025 08:35

tanstaafl · 19/04/2025 08:29

Say your partner has had to go to hospital so it’s not convenient right now.

Haha, I see what you’ve done there. I’ve said something has come up, I just have a weird feeling about the situation and it’s also been madness with these messages back and forth for such a small job.

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 19/04/2025 08:51

Don't just ignore, they will turn up. I'd just message -

Hi X, I no longer require your services.

If they ask why then tell them they've messed you around too much and you've gone elsewhere now.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/04/2025 09:07

NineteenSeventyNine · 18/04/2025 22:48

Madness. Ask for his bank details to pay for the work so far then pay, block and delete!

This

If you carry on the next tthing will be the van's broken down, all the tools have been nicked or his grandmother's died

Edited to add I also hadn't realissed he's not actually done any work yet, so the second paragraph applies x100. The man's clearly a complete waste of time so you're best rid of him and his ceaseless excuses

EveryOtherNameTaken · 19/04/2025 09:31

Just say a family member is doing it for you instead.

MaryLouWho · 19/04/2025 14:07

Thank you all. Absolute joke, think my expectations of workmen must have dropped very low that I put up with this for as long as I did, always just seem to find people who mess me about.

Anyway, I messaged the partner (as his phone is apparently broken and she sent the last message) first thing this morning to say something had come up and then blocked both him and his partner. I also “unsent” the message to him from a few days ago with my address. His phone might be fixed and he might have screenshot it, but at least it’s not in the messages if he didn’t.

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