To be completely disturbed by what a friend’s partner admitted and that she told me about it?

[ThatUmberWallflower]

Bit of a grim one.
In the middle of a heated argument, my friend’s partner blurted out that he’s used photos of me to get off. She told me afterward, clearly still upset - I guess to vent or maybe just because she was shocked too.

I honestly don’t know what to do with this information. I feel grossed out but also weirdly violated. I never asked to be involved in their argument, let alone in this way.

AIBU to feel disgusted and uncomfortable, and unsure how to even be around either of them now?

I wonder if it's true or if he said it just to get at her, as you say in the heat of an argument.

Hmm there was a thread about this the other day. From the girlfriend of said disgusting guy..

Yeah she posted this

Get the photos and destroy them. If online insist friend watches as he permanently deletes them then I would back away from the friendship.

Im sure the friend posted the other day…

I wouldn't wanna be around them either. What a prick! Now you're gonna feel so awkward.

If the photos are online I strongly suggest you revisit your privacy settings and think about what images there are of you floating around.

It’s not for her to feel awkward - he’s the pig.

As well as being wierd he's also kind of wrecked your friendship. What a complete knob.

He is for sure. But it's still an awkward situation for OP. I think the friend shouldn't have said anything tbh.

I think I’d find it deeply odd that she told me. Especially assuming the photos are just fully-clothed photos of you in the public domain, rather than him somehow having got hold of nude ones, so it’s not that she’s warning you that there are intimate photos out there?

The pair of them sound awful, him if he really has done that or even made it up to get at her and she's a fool for telling you and involving you in this nasty relationship.

I'd dump the pair of them before it becomes even more sordid.

If a friend said to me, my boyfriend has been using photos of a friend of ours to get off, I'd be like but thats really fucking wierd. And he told you in an argument knowing that would be really hurtful. It's not just wierd, it's abusive I think. I mean, using photos of random women isn't great, but this is really hurtful behaviour. How awful for your friend.

Agree he should delete them too.

I also think that he's out of to her that he'd be up for a threesome and she's desperate to keep him that she's told you this to test the water.

Grim.

I also find it odd that she told you - kind of devoid of considering your feelings.

Your friend is on here! I’ll try and find it.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5309232-drunken-argument-with-dh-revealed-he-has-pleasured-himself-to-photos-of-my-friend?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Is this your friend OP?

Hopefully, or there are two men doing this

I think all men do it, come to think of it. (Pun intended) it's just most don't admit to it.

I’d be blocking him everywhere, the weirdo. I don’t want to be wank fodder.

Imo he said it just to spite her whilst in anger - he may not have even done it, but wanted to hurt her.

I think it's very strange she told you though OP, no need to do that.

💯

Totally.

It's creepy he did this, and creepy he told his partner and creepy she told you. If I were in that situation, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with either of them in future. Realistically, how could you come back from this. Ditch them .