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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to write to the house seller?

212 replies

ButterMelonCauliflower · 18/04/2025 10:56

Long story short… we have sold our house but nowhere to buy. We want to stay local and understand the local housing market.
There’s a house we like but it’s out of our price range. We think it’s over-valued (massive development planned next door to the property - probably why owners are selling). The agent it’s on with has a reputation for overvaluing and the vendors are asking way more than local average increase in the 10 years that they’ve owned it. They tried to sell 2 years ago but failed. Since then the asking price has gone up for no obvious reason.
Two weeks ago we offered 18% below asking price and were rejected.
Yesterday we offered 15% below but agent says they are not willing to negotiate.

AIBU unreasonable to contact them, explaining that we love the house, are not trying to take the piss and are hoping they might reconsider?

YES you are BU. It’s their house and they can ask what they like

NO you are not BU. A letter can’t hurt as long as it’s not too bossy/pushy

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
DailyEnergyCrisis · 18/04/2025 10:59

They have said they are not willing to negotiate with you so you want to force this boundary by sending a letter? Madness. They won’t sell their house to you.

tryingtobesogood · 18/04/2025 10:59

Go for it, you have nothing to lose

mynameiscalypso · 18/04/2025 11:00

Why would you? They’ve made their position clear. My response would be that if you love the house that much, make us a higher offer.

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 11:01

I had a buyer that kept by passing the agent and it was horribly stressful. People employ agents as experts, but also as buffers. You are trampling on all normal boundaries by contacting them directly. It wouldn’t make me more likely to sell to you if you did this.

They don’t have to sell to you. You’ve put out your offer, it’s been rejected. Just because you think it’s right doesn’t make it so.

Downing4packsofharibo · 18/04/2025 11:01

I think I would just tell the estate agent that you would like to leave your offer on the table. Keep looking elsewhere.

Im about to put a low offer in on a house and this is my plan.

Thanksforyourlackofthought · 18/04/2025 11:04

The problem with keep offering is that you are making it clear that you really want the house. It very much depends on the seller because if they think you’re desperate to buy the house, they may dig their hills in and expect you to keep going up in price. Obviously it’s totally up to you, but I think in this situation if it were me, I would let it go for now, keep looking elsewhere and then if they can’t sell and they need the money, hopefully they’ll go back to the Estate Agent and ask them to see if your offer still stands.

LadyMinerva · 18/04/2025 11:05

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 11:01

I had a buyer that kept by passing the agent and it was horribly stressful. People employ agents as experts, but also as buffers. You are trampling on all normal boundaries by contacting them directly. It wouldn’t make me more likely to sell to you if you did this.

They don’t have to sell to you. You’ve put out your offer, it’s been rejected. Just because you think it’s right doesn’t make it so.

100% this.

Writing a letter will do the exact opposite of what you are hoping to achieve.

JackieDaytonaLuckyBrews · 18/04/2025 11:05

Leave the offer on the table and wait and see what happens. If it's definitely overpriced it won't sell and they may come back to you. I wouldn't go putting notes through the door. It feels like begging/sob story to me.

AprilMadness · 18/04/2025 11:06

Why would you do that? It's madness! You are taking the piss, you're offering less than they want.

Why send a begging letter? I'm in the process of selling and would hate to get a letter like that. Not going to change my mind and think "Oh they sound like a lovely couple I don't mind losing thousands of pounds to them!"

Absolute madness!

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 18/04/2025 11:06

I had a similar letter from a prospective ‘buyer’ once. I’m afraid I just thought CF and put it in the bin. The asking price was set by us in conjunction with the agent, some random would-be owner telling me we were both wrong didn’t thrill me tBF.

Contact the agent and tell them how much you are prepared to pay. That’s what they are hired for.

Roselilly36 · 18/04/2025 11:06

I can understand your frustration, but you can’t afford the property.

I am being honest with you if received a letter like that I would be annoyed, as they EA (who were acting for me) have told you that we are not willing to negotiate. They won’t care about the fact you want to stay local, or any other reasons, they want x for the house as they have informed you via their EA.

This action will also get the EA backs up, that could cause issues for you if they get another property on their books, that you can afford and want to view & offer on.

Wishing you all the best going forward.

WhoMeMissYesYouMiss · 18/04/2025 11:07

Sometimes it is the owner. Make a final offer via the agent, they are required to pass on the offer. Walk away if it is rejected.

Dhxusksgxuks · 18/04/2025 11:07

YABU. If they were willing to negotiate they would have made a counter offer. Writing to them won’t do anything.

DailyEnergyCrisis · 18/04/2025 11:09

We had a “we love your house but don’t want to pay for it” family- entertained it a bit with an offer on the table as leverage for other negotiations but the damage was done by the note through the door and general persistence. I guess it might work for some but I’m really switched off by people who don’t respect other people’s reasonable requests/boundaries.

AprilMadness · 18/04/2025 11:10

Also would not inspire confidence of you as a buyer. You sound the kind who would offer less 3/4 of the way through a sale. As a seller I would be very wary of you.

FOJN · 18/04/2025 11:10

I had someone make a low offer on a house I was selling because they wanted to be mortgage free.

Bluevelvetsofa · 18/04/2025 11:11

Leave the offer on the table. If they’re keen to sell and they’re not getting viewings or offers, they might change their minds later on, if you can play a long game.

If you need to move quickly, look elsewhere.

Member869894 · 18/04/2025 11:12

You're just telling them you really want the house. That would make me as a seller dig my heels in

24Dogcuddler · 18/04/2025 11:16

Good idea to leave the offer on the table. We recently rejected two offers from a lovely young couple, FTB, who clearly loved our house. We were insulted by the first offer. They increased by 10K and said that was their max budget.

We are downsizing but hadn’t found anything that didn’t need lots of money to renovate so we weren’t in a rush.

We recently viewed our dream house and it is in walk in condition, everything immaculate including the outdoor space. Asked our Estate Agent to go back to them and see if they were still interested.
So far everything is proceeding fingers crossed!

Magnastorm · 18/04/2025 11:19

They've already told you they aren't willing to budge on price and so presumably aren't particually desperate to sell.

Writing directly to them rather than doing it formally is just going to piss them off, and label you as a pain in the arse.

You aren't owed anything by these people. If you can't afford what they are asking for, you don't get.

Trickabrick · 18/04/2025 11:20

You sound massively entitled, you may think you understand the local housing market but you clearly don’t understand why the owners may be sticking to what price they are prepared to sell it for. Either make another offer or walk away but writing a letter seems pointless and may entrench their views of you as a chancer.

Gustavo77 · 18/04/2025 11:21

Go for it. If you don't ask, you'll never know. Good luck!

Magnastorm · 18/04/2025 11:21

Gustavo77 · 18/04/2025 11:21

Go for it. If you don't ask, you'll never know. Good luck!

OP does know. Seller has already told them they aren't willing to budge on price.

OhCalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 18/04/2025 11:22

Tootiredtowhat · 18/04/2025 11:01

I had a buyer that kept by passing the agent and it was horribly stressful. People employ agents as experts, but also as buffers. You are trampling on all normal boundaries by contacting them directly. It wouldn’t make me more likely to sell to you if you did this.

They don’t have to sell to you. You’ve put out your offer, it’s been rejected. Just because you think it’s right doesn’t make it so.

I'd agree with this. They've made it clear they won't negotiate and you can't afford the asking price. They have appointed an agent to deal with potential buyers and it is intrusive to walk all over that by making direct contact. Bit like when it specifically says not to approach the owner or the property without arranging a viewing and you get people just turning up gawping through the windows and trying to get through side gates etc. just because it's over priced for you doesn't mean it will be out of other people's price range. They may well drop the price in light of the development nearby, but it won't be because they got a letter asking them to do so.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 18/04/2025 11:23

They've said no to you twice.
I'm not sure a letter will change their minds.