Is this ott or am I in the wrong?

[bagpuss90]

We have new neighbours they have two kids . I knocked on their door with an Easter egg each for the kids this morning. The mum told me the kids are never allowed chocolate not even at Easter , Christmas or birthdays . She went on about obesity, diabetes plus a loss of other stuff. I was only trying to make a nice gesture. My kids were not allowed chocolate on a regular basis ( it was a treat )and I do appreciate obesity is a real problem in the UK . But blimey - I don’t think an Easter egg ever killed anyone . Have I missed something?

Some people don’t have a filter. I can be a bit like this and can be over honest and over explain things.

She has her chocolate beliefs but instead of taking the chocolate for politeness or just quickly explaining why she wouldn’t accept the chocolate, she gave you chapter and verse on her thinking. She was on transmit mode.

You can view this many ways, she’s rude and ungrateful or not. She may or may not think you are in fault in any way (ie anyone who still gives kids chocolate is wrong) or she’s just not very good at recognising when politeness takes precedence over her own personal views.

But you were not in the wrong. It is a kind and nice gesture by today’s standards and social norms.

OP, you are lovely. Happy Easter!

I'm so sorry this happened to you OP! Please don't let it put you off being a lovely kind person and continuing to make nice gestures like this in the future. The world needs more of you!

How lovely of you OP. The kids will probably be obese because they will obsess over all the sweets they were denied as kids. Stay away from that neighbour, she sounds like a real PITA.

Ha reminds me of many years ago when we had just moved house and were having work done.

Took the neighbours wine and chocolates to apologise for the noise which they took while telling us they didn't eat/drink these things because of diabetes 😄

I'm guessing a relative had a treat for Christmas

I really hate it when people buy my kids chocolate and sweets. They're allowed chocolate, but we try and limit it. But it just seems an odd thing to do to me, it definitely wasn't a thing growing up around us and I don't want big events to be centred on loads of sugar for them. I don't think she should have been rude, but I wouldn't have taken the chocolate in case you ended up bringing round eggs every year, and things on Halloween and Christmas.

I voted YABU but only because its up to her if she doesnt wanna give her kids chocolate.

It is a bit mad for her to go on a rant about it though😂
Lovely gesture on your part and at least you know to avoid her now😁

It was a kind gesture, but it is up to parents to set rules about eating. If she 'went on about' diabetes etc it could just be because she wanted you to understand her reasons for refusing your gift. Children won't die from not having chocolate and will certainly be healthier if they have fruit or some other healthy treat instead.

She was unbelievably rude.

My BF's Mum was like that, she now has a whole host of food issues thanks to her.

I know someone who didn't let his child have chocolate or sweets; said it was wild abuse.

She should have thanked you and said no more.

DS had a classmate like this. You should have seen her at class parties and play dates. She'd gorge herself. The first question when she walked through the door was "What sweets do you have?".

Blimey. And I thought I was strict with my kids’ healthy eating! I’d have thanked you and thought it was a lovely gesture.

She sounds unhinged and it’s a great way to give your kids eating disorders.

She also sounds very rude.
She could have accepted them and then donated them to someone else or just kindly explained that they’re not needed.

She obviously has a lot of issues and I feel sorry for her poor kids but I wouldn’t let it upset you as you did nothing wrong.

That was a lovely, welcoming, neighbourly gesture from you, OP.

She was a knob.

It's very rude of her

However, I'd see it as a win, more chocolate for your family

It was really kind of you but it is her kids and rules. I'd ignore it and carry on friendly.
I offered my neighbour's dog a doggy treat and got castigated. I was taken aback but fair enough the owner knows what diet the dog needs.
So don't be upset, you did a great thing, but stay friendly.

I'm in two minds here as while it's wrong to be so rude to your face she's entitled to feed her kids whatever she wants.

I'm someone who can't keep sweet treats in the house due to never learning the art of "everything in moderation" so I really don't agree with her stance but she's entitled to it.

What she should have done was thank you profusely for your lovely gesture and work out a way of politely saying that her kids don't eat chocolate..

I know people who are very strict with food. But they would not be so rude. They would decline politely.

She was not rude. Not from what you have said. She stated her preference and explained her reasons for it. It's you who should take a look at yourself for gossiping and complaining about her. Although it's only on mumsnet so that's not too bad.

Kids get eggs and treats left right and centre near easter: school, numerous egg hunts, grandparents, aunts. Uncles, family friends. Just keep your eggs in future, let other parents decide how much choc they will give their children, they don't need another one on the pile. Eat your own eggs.

You were the one showing up uninvited with more junk for their kids that apparently they are not allowed to refuse. Without being gossiped about and called rude.

Wow

I bet those kids will end up having an unhealthy relationship with food

I’d say around 5 & 7