Difficult family situation

[Just4support]

My sister has upset me in the past and I have generally kept a little distance. Not obviously so, I have always tried to chat pleasantly when together and if anything I have always been careful to not do anything to upset her.
My Mum died a couple of years ago and my sister suggested we take on family projects together. Against my better judgement I agreed and as a result I thought we were possibly getting on better - actually in truth I felt I was treading on egg shells, but she seemed happy so all seemed good.

Suddenly, I received a couple of ‘sibling group’ emails (there are actually 3 of us in total) saying I was acting as though I single handedly managed family matters, I do loads of things that irritate her and I don’t pull my weight enough taking care of our elderly Father.

In response I tried to call but she wouldn’t pick up, so I apologised and told her I really didn’t mean to upset her and said I was happy if she wanted to call me to chat.

I didn’t hear anything then realised she was excluding me from any family events she was organising. I tried to ignore and just carried on including her in anything I was organising although she made excuses and didn’t attend.

a couple of months later I noticed she has deleted me from our sibling group chat and from Facebook.

My other sibling has tried to include me in events when possible, but the situation is becoming more difficult.

I really feel miserable, I have tried to self analysis but I honestly do not feel I am guilty of any of the things she says I have done wrong.

I have also heard a couple of comments from other family members that indicate she has accused myself and my DH of being selfish. No one else is excluding us but we are being pushed out because no one wants to get involved.

AIBU

Sounds like you both rub each other up the wrong way for some reason. She’s been silly to escalate it into this big row.

The only way to move past it would be to talk in person, not accusing her of anything but really listening and trying to understand her point of view, and hoping she can do the same.

I would give it a go personally. You’ve got nothing to lose.

But if it doesn’t work then you’ll
have given it your best shot and you’ll need to focus on your other sibling and other family members, and just be civil if you come across each other.

Thank you. I am a little frightened of trying to approach her again, for fear of further rejection, but will try.

We don’t all get on in life and your Dsis sounds like hard work. I’d leave her to it and continue your relationship with your other sister and father.

Thank you.