Am I taking this too personally?

[Ethicaldebacle]

Just looking for a bit of perspective.

I'm newish to my team, and an old member came back from maternity leave. She's lovely, but she created a recurring meeting that seems like a duplicate of a meeting we already have. Not only that but she didn't invite me nor another member of the team.

As their manager, would you say something? I don't think it's necessarily great for the other team member (nor me!) it seems unnecessarily cliquey and like a potential mis-use of time.

I'm a very millennial manager so I just care that they do their job and are happy, but at the same time it doesn't seem right.

As the manager you'll have to raise it with her I would say. But you can check it out. I do think there is benefit of staff being able to meet without management for wellbeing and social support. But not a meeting about something you are already dealing with. And why is the other member not included?

I think the other member was most likely an honest mistake. And I get that they might want to meet without management, BUT the agenda of the meeting she created is on best practices, case discussion, etc, which is what the other meeting is supposed to be about! (The one I host)

I that case she needs to cancel it. I'd just link in and say that you've actually already set the schedule so that one can be cancelled. She's probably using an old schedule. But drop it into welcoming her and other positive things

No, she literally created that meeting the next day after our normal meeting! So it's not like it was an old meeting that came back from an old schedule.

It could be that shes just put the agenda in case someone looks and it's actually a meeting for them to catch up, offload any niggles they have and a chance to troubleshoot/get advice.

We have one of these which managers aren't involved in and it's really beneficial for wellbeing.

Definitely ask about it and let them know it's ok to have that meeting when they don't have to disguise it (if you're happy for them to go ahead that is).

Well she even created a document to log in everything they discuss. I also do the same day job as the rest of the team (I just happen to manage them and do other bits) so theoretically it would even benefit me.

If they want to their venting hour, by all means but don't disguise it as something else.

Id assume it’s a meeting to discuss in more detail, the stuff you cover in the meeting you host, assign tasks, troubleshoot etc. and I’d leave it be, unless it becomes evident that it’s undermining existing processes etc.

They wouldn't have to do any of that, that's my job!

The agenda of both meetings are basically the same.

Coming back from mat leave is tough as you’re worried your job has been altered in your absence. I’d meet with her again and ask her rationale for the second meeting. Let her talk and then if you still feel it’s unnecessary address it with her.

You are that person's manager? Why are you tying yourself in knots about this, just ask.

Just ask her?

Just say to her I think this is a duplicate of the meeting we are having on another day.

Yeah…nobody here can tell you what you need to know. You are her manager, you need to talk to her about it.

if it’s a duplication you need to either cancel yours and let her run with you and the other person added or tell her to cancel hers

It’s really that easy.