Might as well be on holiday alone

[NotSoSolo]

We’ve come away on holiday to where my DH grew up. So far my DH has spent 2 mornings having a lie in while I take DC out to do different activities. He’s arranged 2 meet ups with his friends and all of us and 2 more meet ups with friends/family members on his own. It feels very much like if me and the DC weren’t here then DH’s plans would be no different and I doubt he’d even notice apart from there’d be no one to prepare his meals and clean up. There’s been no thought of us doing anything as a family of 4 or anything for our DC it has all revolved around DH. AIBU?

I think it's fair enough that he wants to spend time with his friends and family while he is there. He obviously doesn't live close if you are all staying away from home. Do any of his family have children to spend time with yours maybe? I think perhaps you both have different expectations but I am assuming you all do family stuff together when you are at home so that is maybe less of a priority when he is catching up with close family / friends he doesn't see often.

He absolutely should be sharing the lie ins and housework / meal prep though. That is not on that he is leaving all that to you.

Did you not sit down and make a plan? How has he got 2 lie ins - did no body wake him? I think you need to sit down and discuss your holiday expectations with each other not mumsnet

Um it depends really. I can't really say I would have an issue with my DH having a lie in on holiday (even if it was every day) as he usually has to get up at 6.30-7am for work. Can you not have some lazy mornings with the kids too?

Likewise if you've gone on holiday to where he grew up and all his friends and family are there who he hasn't seen for years then I would have kind of expected this to be the focus of the holiday...

I would say a lot of it depends on how long you're away for (if a few days then he should be spending more time with you and the kids, if a couple of weeks then not a big deal if you spend a few days apart), where you are (remote / rural, big city with lots to do etc...) and what type of accommodation you are in...

Can’t you go with him?

Also.. wake him up!

Have you said “let’s go to x just the 4 of us?”

I think if he is going back to where he grew up then of course there will be an element of catching up with people while away.

How old are dc? Will you get a lie in?

I voted YABU purely on the basis that you are continuing to prepare his meals and clean up. Stop doing that FFS.

It depends how often to gets to visit "home". If it's one week every five years, and you have other holidays in between, then he's naturally excited to see friends and family. I wouldn't begrudge my DH that opportunity. However, I don't see why he gets to have a lie in or skip all the chores. That's a separate issue altogether.

The key word is holiday. It seems like he is on one and you are not. Tell him you are having a lie in and an afternoon off.