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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How would you interpret this?

49 replies

sewsewsewyourboats · 17/04/2025 07:13

A message conversation between my sister and me;

”Hi do you fancy coming to ours next weekend? Any time is fine, you can stay a couple nights if you like?”

”sounds good can we come Friday please?”

As it got closer it’s transpired there has been some confusion. The reply was meant as come for one night on Friday but it was taken as arrive Friday and stay the whole bank holiday weekend.

What would you think?

OP posts:
Morningstarter · 17/04/2025 07:15

How bizarre.

Id say “sis, I meant one night! Not the whole bank holiday. Can’t wait to see you. Love you xx”

CaptainFuture · 17/04/2025 07:15

I'd read as come Friday and stay the offered couple of nights.
If response had been, 'lovely thanks, we'll come and stay Friday night?' That would have been clear just the one night.

MissWishaw · 17/04/2025 07:15

Person A said you can come a couple of nights if you like
Person B said can we come Friday

B didn't say Friday-sunday, however it was unclear how long they would be staying for and I would have probably text back saying Friday till when? I wouldn't have assumed whole bank hol as they didn't say that

ItsUpToYou · 17/04/2025 07:15

But it said “you can stay a couple nights”?

Trickabrick · 17/04/2025 07:17

I’d have assumed they’re staying Friday and Saturday overnight as they were offered a couple (ie 2) nights

Hercisback1 · 17/04/2025 07:17

Six of one and half a dozen of the other.

Thingsthatgo · 17/04/2025 07:18

I would assume the person was coming Friday and staying 2 or 3 nights. I would buy enough food for the long weekend.

tilypu · 17/04/2025 07:20

I would have thought they were staying a couple of nights, but it's clearly just a miscommunication. A couple of nights was offered, but the reply was just about Friday.

Hopefully nobody is getting pissed off about this, it's an easy mistake to make.

ItsUpToYou · 17/04/2025 07:31

Hercisback1 · 17/04/2025 07:17

Six of one and half a dozen of the other.

Is that what this saying means? I’ve been using it wrong my whole life. I use it when people are making the same point using different words (e.g. “It was light” vs “it wasn’t heavy”). I didn’t know it was used for general misunderstandings. Gosh, using idioms when you come from a non-British family should really be avoided 😅

sunshineandshowers40 · 17/04/2025 07:39

You said a couple of nights?! So that would be at least Friday and Saturday night?

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 17/04/2025 07:40

Someone offered a visit for 2 nights. The other person replied and said when they'd be arriving but didn't say when they'd be leaving. Because they said 'sounds good' and didn't mention otherwise, I'd have assumed that meant 2 nights

pearbottomjeans · 17/04/2025 07:42

I’d have said ‘yeah come Friday! How long do you want to stay?’

SilverButton · 17/04/2025 07:43

It's just a misunderstanding - no one is really to blame here.

Bearbookagainandagain · 17/04/2025 07:44

I would have understood arrive Friday and stay a couple of nights.

But it's been clarified ahead of the weekend so does it really matter?
I can understand how staying longer than expected can be an issue, but staying less shouldn't be.

Daffodilsarefading · 17/04/2025 07:44

It said a couple of nights which is clearly more than just one night.

TY78910 · 17/04/2025 07:46

Couple means two so arrive Friday, stay Friday and Saturday night, leave Sunday. That’s the whole BH weekend?

Amba1998 · 17/04/2025 07:47

Someone offered 2 nights

someone accepted but starting from Friday

therefore they are coming Friday for 2 nights

Humpsr · 17/04/2025 07:48

That would be clear to me, the offer is two nights, a couple, friday and Saturday.

pearbottomjeans · 17/04/2025 07:50

It’s the fact that the inviter said ‘you can stay a couple of nights?’ - that kind of sounds like ‘I don’t care either way’. Being more specific and less nonchalant in your invitation would lead to fewer misunderstandings. Hence I said I would then definitely follow up with ‘Friday, cool, how long do you want to stay? Can’t wait!’ or something.

andtheworldrollson · 17/04/2025 07:55

I would read it as you can come over for any peridot from a couple of hours to a couple of days. And since you replied Friday I would assume you would leave Saturday lunchtime

andtheworldrollson · 17/04/2025 07:56

You CAN stay a couple of nights IF YOU LIKE
means it isn’t a simple invite for 2 nights but an open up to 2 nights

pearbottomjeans · 17/04/2025 07:56

andtheworldrollson · 17/04/2025 07:56

You CAN stay a couple of nights IF YOU LIKE
means it isn’t a simple invite for 2 nights but an open up to 2 nights

Exactly

SwanOfThoseThings · 17/04/2025 07:59

Both at fault although 'fault' is probably putting too harsh a construction on it, it's a simple misunderstanding where no one has really done anything wrong.

Guest should have been more specific - 'Can we come Friday and leave on Saturday?'
Host should have asked for clarification if they hadn't - 'Sure, how long do you plan to stay?'

TY78910 · 17/04/2025 08:01

What’s the AIBU though? Are you the one inviting or the one invited? Is the party who’s expecting the stay to be a couple of nights now upset that it’s one night / or the other way round?

Createausername1970 · 17/04/2025 08:03

Person A suggested a visit and offered a couple of nights stay, if B wanted to.

Person B said they would come on Friday.

Person B's answer would annoy me if I was A, as I would then have to go back to find out if they meant just for the day - so arriving earlier, or to stay Friday night (or longer) so possibly arriving later.

Person B gave a totally inadequate answer, but Person A should have clarified and not assumed.