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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Risky behaviour for the larger mumsnetter

34 replies

1BodyProblem · 16/04/2025 13:12

NC. I think society is very inclusive these days and as a larger lady I don't come up against many issues. There are however some sticking points (literally) which I've decided just need to be acknowledged but can't be solved. I recently went to an away game at a championship football ground and quite frankly I couldn't get through the turnstile gate. It was an old metal gate, probably built before the second world war and just couldn't accommodate me. I had to find an alternative entrance but as you can imagine, it was embarrassing and there were some laddy jeers from those queueing. I would quite frankly like to have been bluntly warned before even attempting the gate "not for large fans" or similar instead of risking my circumference squeezing through unnecessarily. It's the same for some theatre seats at old venues. Just tell me before I book this is not for big people. Anyone agree ?

OP posts:
QueefQueen80s · 16/04/2025 15:29

Anon765898 · 16/04/2025 14:11

I recently went to the theatre, quite an old one. It’s not my thing at all but a relative had free tickets so asked me to go. I’m a size 22ish and I only just fit into the seat😱

I go with someone who is a size 30 and we have to get aisle seats so she can at least spread a bit but it’s very cosy even for me as a size 12

Hastentoadd · 16/04/2025 15:35

1BodyProblem · 16/04/2025 13:12

NC. I think society is very inclusive these days and as a larger lady I don't come up against many issues. There are however some sticking points (literally) which I've decided just need to be acknowledged but can't be solved. I recently went to an away game at a championship football ground and quite frankly I couldn't get through the turnstile gate. It was an old metal gate, probably built before the second world war and just couldn't accommodate me. I had to find an alternative entrance but as you can imagine, it was embarrassing and there were some laddy jeers from those queueing. I would quite frankly like to have been bluntly warned before even attempting the gate "not for large fans" or similar instead of risking my circumference squeezing through unnecessarily. It's the same for some theatre seats at old venues. Just tell me before I book this is not for big people. Anyone agree ?

I really think it’s down to you to look into it before you go, you are aware that you are larger than most and you have come across these issues in the past so you need to prepare yourself
Seats in planes / theatres cater for the vast majority of people but they can’t make all seats / turnstiles bigger just to accommodate a small number of people

Its just a sad reality of being a larger person

Rainydaysandwellybobs · 16/04/2025 15:52

I have found a way to beat the system......just be tall!
I am 5'10 with a larger middle and slimmer legs, usually if I stand briefly on my tip toes to lift my belly up I can squeeze my legs through 😂
I hate roller coaster rides but the few times my kids have managed to drag me to a theme park I seem to just about fit in, I think its because I have relatively small boobs for a big un!!!
So, to summarise, if you are short stand in fertiliser until you grow and if you have larger bossom strap them down tight before you go anywhere!!!

slamdunk66 · 16/04/2025 16:18

I’m about a size 10/12 and went to a concert at emirates stadium and the seats were tiny and luckily I was next to me dh on one side and a friend on the other as it was very cosy!

SwanOfThoseThings · 16/04/2025 16:38

SchnizelVonKrumm · 16/04/2025 13:52

What do you mean? The poster was surely just pointing out the faux-naive responses that threads like this receive - as though it simply hadn't occurred to people to try to "eat less, move more" and that it's not that simple for many people.

In terms of how to warn people tactfully, if this is a regular problem for fans they could perhaps have a note on the booking system somewhere along the lines of "please note the turnstiles in Gates B and C have a width of Xcm. Wider turnstiles are available at Gates A and D" (ie a neutral note about the space, not making it about the size of the person).

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This - just make it factual, quoting measurements and directions to larger gates. Then people can either measure themselves or just head for the larger gates if they know they're likely to have problems. No mess, no fuss, no drama.

Cursory · 16/04/2025 17:57

Iammatrix · 16/04/2025 14:04

I totally get the context of the post! It hasn’t happened. Which is good, yes there is the potential for it to happen. I know! But just as @Cursory has done, and that there are those that would jump on with the negative comments that the post alludes to, there is also on the first few posts of certain types of thread those that jump on as @Cursory does with such sentiments.

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I thought it was obvious but maybe not. I was mocking the condescending and unpleasant attitudes on MN towards plus sized women and the rampant pro-ana culture on here by suggesting that MN can be an unsympathetic place to be if you’re fat.

OtterInABlueTie · 16/04/2025 18:15

DinoLil · 16/04/2025 13:17

I'm of a larger build around the middle and also faced a similar thing at a football match. Sort of luckily, I need to use a stick if I'm going to be standing for a while so had that with me. An official saw me with it and kindly ushered me through a gate before I got to the turnstile!

I use a stick and I'm of a larger build (size 22-24). I went to rugby game recently and applied for a disabled pass so I didn't have to deal with this or the stairs/standing for any length of time . I was out in the wheelchair area. Something to maybe consider for the future if you go again?

Iammatrix · 16/04/2025 20:38

Cursory · 16/04/2025 17:57

I thought it was obvious but maybe not. I was mocking the condescending and unpleasant attitudes on MN towards plus sized women and the rampant pro-ana culture on here by suggesting that MN can be an unsympathetic place to be if you’re fat.

Show quote history

I know!

Original poster
1BodyProblem · 16/04/2025 21:10

Some good tips guys. Life can be so risky at my circumference! 😂 I like the idea of the 'trial seat' outside a ride. As for using my eyes and judgement... You can't see the turnstile at these grounds before you are in it!

OP posts:
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