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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Viagra - why?

12 replies

Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 13:06

My husband has been using viagra or similar versions for some years now. The problem is he is still buying it online even though we haven't had sex for over a year now!
To explain we are now both early sixties and sex hadn't been going well for a long time until we both just finally seemed to give up.
He first sought help from the GP about 10 years ago for erectile disfunction and was prescribed viagra. He was overweight and on blood pressure tablets. It seemed to help for a while, but then not so much! We used to try everything else under the sun, but generally with no happy ending!
Over the years we have had dreadful arguments over this, all when he has had too much to drink and blames the lack of sex life on me. When drunk he has told me that my vagina was too huge after our third child and so penetrative sex was no good for him. When he raised the subject again a year ago I reminded him that I was too baggy to bother with since last birth and he said actually you have always been a bit too large! This hasn't exactly made me feel like trying to pursue intimacy with him.
The problem is I noticed a package arriving a few months ago from Simple Omline Pharmacy, I thought it was for me and opened it, it was knock off viagra. I just left it on the side and didn't say anything. I get apprehensive as I don't want to start an argument about it all! At this time he was still going into the city for meetings but was never out for that long. Now I have seen a transaction for another job lot from the pharmacy and it feels even more bizarre as he rarely leaves his man cave, works permanently from home at the moment and doesn't go out much apart from with me!
Why would he need all these tablets, it is quite a large amount in both the recent orders! I just don't get it!
We are both now early sixties and being post menopausal I haven't minded being left alone, in fact it has been a bit of a blessing!
We generally have a good life together apart from the sex issue, I just don't understand this need to stockpile viagra!
I should add, he has admitted to watching porn in the past as he is not getting anything from me.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 16/04/2025 13:28

For wanking presumably

Jane958 · 16/04/2025 14:34

I am fairly certain that my "OH" used Viagra the first time we slept together, because he showed me a blue pill. However, this was 19 years ago, when I was 47 and he was 41.
I was very innocent at the time and assumed that he had confidence issues as his ex-wife had left him for another.
Since then no blue pills and he even tells me online that he is getting excited (make of that what you will).
Sounds like he is wanking himself off and needing to use chemical stimulation because he is not in the best of health.

Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 16:04

Thank you. I think that sounds about right! I just don't really get the point if you have to use chemicals to stimulate yourself. Oh well!

OP posts:
EarlofShrewsbury · 16/04/2025 16:08

What a cheek. Next time he says anything about your size tell him it's probably more that he is too small.

ItGhoul · 16/04/2025 16:49

Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 16:04

Thank you. I think that sounds about right! I just don't really get the point if you have to use chemicals to stimulate yourself. Oh well!

I think maybe you're misunderstanding what Viagra is for. Viagra isn't to make men feel sexual desire - it's to help them get and keep an erection. Viagra is usually taken by men who feel sexual desire but can't get enough of an erection to, er, fulfil that desire. So the point of taking it would just be to achieve the physical ability to do whatever's required to relieve frustration, basically.

More importantly, your husband sounds bloody vile if he's complaining about the size of your vagina. I hope you've pointed out that it's more likely his dick's too small.

6namechange3 · 16/04/2025 16:56

He sounds unpleasant, are you sure he isn't having an affair or using sex workers/escorts?

Suzuki76 · 16/04/2025 16:58

ItGhoul · 16/04/2025 16:49

I think maybe you're misunderstanding what Viagra is for. Viagra isn't to make men feel sexual desire - it's to help them get and keep an erection. Viagra is usually taken by men who feel sexual desire but can't get enough of an erection to, er, fulfil that desire. So the point of taking it would just be to achieve the physical ability to do whatever's required to relieve frustration, basically.

More importantly, your husband sounds bloody vile if he's complaining about the size of your vagina. I hope you've pointed out that it's more likely his dick's too small.

All of this. Especially that he is vile. I'd be pointing out that if my vagina held a tampon post-baby then it's not saying much about his size.

Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 18:22

ItGhoul · 16/04/2025 16:49

I think maybe you're misunderstanding what Viagra is for. Viagra isn't to make men feel sexual desire - it's to help them get and keep an erection. Viagra is usually taken by men who feel sexual desire but can't get enough of an erection to, er, fulfil that desire. So the point of taking it would just be to achieve the physical ability to do whatever's required to relieve frustration, basically.

More importantly, your husband sounds bloody vile if he's complaining about the size of your vagina. I hope you've pointed out that it's more likely his dick's too small.

Oh right, thanks for that. I had thought it gave desire as well!
Yeah he has always been a blamer and a very over reactive and insulting person. I should have had the guts to leave years ago, but didn't ever do it!

OP posts:
Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 18:24

6namechange3 · 16/04/2025 16:56

He sounds unpleasant, are you sure he isn't having an affair or using sex workers/escorts?

To be honest, I would have definitely thought that a few years back. I really doubt he is capable now! I used to drive myself insane jealously checking for clues as he was a bit of a cocky city type a few years ago.

OP posts:
Watermill · 16/04/2025 18:27

I would assume he was having sex elsewhere.

YourKhakiBeaker · 01/08/2025 13:45

I’ve tried viagra before, and for me, it worked within 30-45 minutes. I made sure not to eat a heavy meal before taking it because that can slow it down. Also, drinking too much alcohol messes with how well it works.

Mossstitch · 01/08/2025 16:33

Hastaluego · 16/04/2025 18:22

Oh right, thanks for that. I had thought it gave desire as well!
Yeah he has always been a blamer and a very over reactive and insulting person. I should have had the guts to leave years ago, but didn't ever do it!

There's still time!!!
He sounds awful, I separated after 30 year marriage and after initial upset and organisation it's bliss, you don't have to put up with him💐

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