Meeting future in-laws

[letswame]

I will be meeting my future in-laws very soon. I’m excited but also quite nervous. They only speak German and I only speak English. I think I can manage that situation but any ideas and ways to manage this would be welcomed. Also, any suggestions for what sort of gift I can take them? They are in their 80’s.
thank you in advance:-)

You need to ask your partner what they'd like for gifts. We don't know them.

Could you possibly try and learn a few phrases in German before you go. I think it would be nice if you could say something to them.
Giftwise - do they have any particular interest that you could pick a gift for or maybe a bouquet of flowers.

Ok, so DH is German and Austrian and I have German rellies of a similar age.
Everyone is different but a few pointers
Whatever you take it needs to be beautifully wrapped
They may not like anything flashy, think understated quality.
They may not come across as very warm
They may not be as smiley or animated as you are used to
They might be a bit formal
They will appreciate a few words of German, just Hello and Thank you etc
They may be a bit more direct than Brits (although I would imagine anyone translating for you might water it down). They tend to think that its Ok to say something if its true, facts aren't necessarily an insult they are just facts
These aren't stereotypes these are based on direct experiences, I have some lovely German/Austrian family - kind and generous BUT they might not come across as such if you are not used to the differences.

Don't mention the war 🤫

In my similar experience (Dutch not German but I know the scenario), yes to a few words in German. And British cheese always went down very well and provided a talking point… (assuming you’re British?)

Good luck! It’ll be grand!

Fucking hilarious, reported

shortbread

This is really helpful! Thank you! I could ask my partner but I want him to see that I am making an effort on my own accord. He is super lovely to my family and never asks me what he should do for them…he just does it.

the wrapping is a brilliant idea! I never wrap gifts but I will do for them

And learn some phrases!

Oh you are bad!

My ex is German and his mum speaks no English, so been here! Anything like English tea, biscuits, jams always goes down well (brownie point if it’s M&S!!). I agree they may seem quite reserved initially, a few words of German is a great idea.

Agree with learning a few German phrases and the suggestions about typically UK foodstuffs, you could gift wrap them individually then put them in a Waitrose or M&S canvas shopping bag. Have a lovely first meeting!

M&S is a good shout

@MNHQ
Why is this allowed?
If a similar post had been made with an awful stereotype based on a non white group would it still be here?

WW 2 ended almost 80 years ago and some people still think its funny to reference it whenever the word German is mentioned
How funny is it when your H gets beaten up by football fans for his name and your DC get references to Hitler and The Holocaust at school?
Fucking awful but because the majority of Germans are white its somehow ok.
Its not

I'm guessing the 'don't mention the war' comment was a tongue in cheek comment in reference to a Fawlty Towers episode, in all honesty.

Best of luck with the meet up OP! I'd also opt for some nice MnS goodies, perhaps in a small wicker basket and tissue paper?

Well as I said its not funny when all too often people DO indeed mention the war, 80 bloody years after it ended!

Oh don't get me wrong - I completely agree with what you're saying. I'm so sorry that your husband and children have been treated so badly - it's not on at all. I have a German relative (by marriage) and he too was targeted when he lived in the UK for a couple of years. I also have Jewish family on my mum's side, whose family were almost all killed in concentration camps. We certainly don't discuss the wars lightly (or much at all) and I certainly wouldn't raise the subject with my German relative or his family, nor my other side.

I was merely pointing out that I thought that was likely the reference and not intended in a malicious way. Just a clumsy comment.

I am sure it was clumsy not malicious but despite me reporting it and asking MNHQ to remove it it still stands.

My MIL was German and would be slightly older than the in-laws, she was hot on manners and liked to be called Mrs … and then after a few months she said I could use her first name.

It’s a Fawlty Towers reference.

You’ve reported the post. That’s the best way to get something removed if you want to. In my experience MNHQ are really quick and responsive.

Cheese is a good idea. Honey might go down well also

My MIL loved shortbread.

So they must have decided its ok to remain, which pisses me off more than the remark, which I have agreed was a clumsy attempy at humour rather than anything else.
I know what it refers to, I still don't find it funny - but I suppose someone who hasn't had their kids called Nazis might.