AIBU to want to start a family?

[EqualityDuck]

I'm 35. Currently living in a small 2 bed flat with loads of character, which we own outright but pay £800 service charge for per month, with a garden, zone 5 in London. We live in a small gated community with brilliant neighbours - we are all friends, often have street parties, etc. Some young families now appearing. Really good local schools, several great parks, good transport links - near to a Tube. Wanting to start a family, but my dilemma is property related. We definitely want to stay in London - no more than 15min walk to the Tube or Elizabeth line.

Our flat is worth roughly 100k (allowing for the disrepair detailed below) and we have £250,000 in savings. Allowing around £50k for solicitor fees and stamp duty etc, that would give us around £250,000 deposit on a house. We could probably afford a mortgage of £300,000 on our salaries so that would be £550k property value to buy.

I had a difficult upbringing, though I have wealthy parents, I am financially estranged from them, though I do still see them - so borrowing money from them is not a possibility.

Downsides of where we are currently:

• flat is in major state of disrepair in back bedroom so currently that bedroom is out of action and needs total gutting of the entire flat to fix it (mould issue under floorboards). Roughly £30k of work and we would have to move out for this to happen.
• garden although lovely and massive is totally wild and I have no gardening inclination or prowess so would want to pay someone to landscape it.
• the whole flat needs exterior painting
• neighbourhood is not "pretty" - litter and flytipping are common. It is safe though, just depressing to walk around.
• no high street/restaurants etc in walking distance - nearest decent places are 15min drive (really nice though).
• my parents massively disapprove of my choice to live where I currently live and keep making comments about it every time I see them - they think it's beneath them and my siblings both live more in the manner that my parents think we should.

Should we:

A) sell the flat and buy a 3 bed house before TTC? (the downside is we would have to move to a less safe area due to our budget but also being committed to staying in London, and would have no local knowledge of that area, also would lose our neighbours. Finally we would have to pay double what we currently pay for our service charge, on a mortgage - atm we are mortgage-free).

B) get the flat repaired and then TTC and stay living in the flat? (downsides here - having to organise and pay for the repairs which is incredibly stressful - we did a similar thing for our last property and it was a nightmare. Also, will have to move anyway at some point as we cannot have more than 1 child in our current flat as only 2 beds and it is quite small - so wouldn't we just be in the same position then)?

Any advice much appreciated.

Move before having kids if you definitely think you'll be having more than one.

It depends really on what is important to you.

Good area, neighbours and good schools are important in my view.

You need to have the repairs done anyway either moving or staying. Kids would be ok sharing a room while little, and each year you would be saving money.

It also depends on the layout of the flat, do you have a separate living room at least to hang out in, or just the 2 bedrooms and a kitchen/diner. Even a separate toilet and bathroom or lack of can make a big difference and can change your decision either way.

Won’t you need to repair your flat before selling anyway? It will massively impact its value/sellability if you don’t. Get an agent around see what they say.
Id do the repairs and try to get pregnant while trying to sell.

I’d move before starting TTC. If nothing else once you have children your lending ability is reduced, childcare reduces your affordability with a lender and so does having dependents (children), so if you could get a £300k mortgage now allowing you to get a £550k house you could easily find that if you’ve had a child plus are paying for childcare then at that point a lender may only be prepared to lend you £200k- at which point finding a decent house for £450k makes things harder.

Plus, it depends on the size of your flat, but with kids you really do need space. I have a 1 year old and I cannot explain how much space her things take up, her toys, her having space to play is so important. Having a 2 bed when you want more children immediately puts a time limit anyway.

By waiting you’d not only be pushing the problem back but you’d also be making it worse because

1. You’ll have reduced lending ability once you have a child
2. Moving will be harder with a young child
3. Houses could be even more expensive by then with inflation

Thanks all. I think you've confirmed what I logically knew... It's just so sad that we can't afford to live in a larger property where we live now 😔 it's so lovely here.