Shaking with rage, can't sleep, NHS treatment of elderly

[Krupkrups]

My Grandma (89) has finally come out of hospital tonight finally after nearly nearly 5 weeks.

There's been nothing wrong she had a fall nothing broken, nothing but they wouldn't let her go home my uncle has lived with her for past 8 months since his divorce and she had a career who comes on a lunchtime. They said because she didn't have anyone at home which is bullshit, then social services got involved who were a shower of shite, then the hospital 'forgot' to discharge her twice despite my parents, uncle and care team being at home twice waiting.

Before going into hospital she could;

Get herself and dressed nicely

Get Downstairs / upstairs

Get herself to toilet and wipe herself - no incontinence pants

Make herself food and drinks (hot drinks, kettle on etc.)

Do crosswords

Move around the house with, slowly and with the help of a stick and frame but she did

Her memory was clearly going and she has slowed down cognitively in conversations but she knew we all were still enjoyed face times from my children, still read the paper.

She's come out and frankly it's like she's come out of a Victorian asylum, I am heartbroken, she looks deranged when she's awake sunken eyes strange rolling eyes, has lost an absolute load of weight - she was always very slender possibly too slender before now she looks like a famine survivor.

She is incoherent most of the time when awake.

Can't get out of bed / apparently is imobile - well yes she is now

Can't feed herself isn't eating when being fed

Is wearing adult nappies which have to be changed and the carers are changing and wiping her mess

Is covered in bed sores

I am weeping and raging I feel like driving to the hospital and punching the nurses in that ward in the face!!!! What have they done to her.

Agreed

I feel your pain. My nan was admitted after a fall and died 6 weeks later despite being completely independent before going into hospital. We asked that she was taken to the toilet with her walking frame but they ended up just putting her on a bed pan everytime so she lost the ability to walk. She ended up a shell of her former self before going into a home and dying. She never wanted to end up in hospital because of the fear of this happening and she was right to fear it 😭

So your uncle didn’t tell anyone that she was in hospital for 9 days? I think maybe I can see why the hospital didn’t want to discharge into his care. that’s a bad call.

I think your mom / dad (not sure who’s mom is your grandma) needs to get the bed sores seen to as a matter of top priority.

And you need to calm the hell down because you’re no use in this agitated state. I understand why you’re angry but it’s really not helping.

A lot of the issues don’t need money spent in them.

Common sense, keeping things clean and making sure everyone on the ward is eating and drinking sufficiently and just being pleasant to people and not acting superior doesn’t cost anything

Sorry, edited as quoted you by accident!

That’s very sad - bed sores is bad nursing care. Incontinence pads -it can take so long to get a frail elderly person from bed to wheelchair to toilet I can see why they’re used but it is awful for the patient - how can you even go lying flat on your back. Add to that lack of food, drink and sleep, disorientation, lack of autonomy it’s no wonder they deteriorate.

Agree
If she had a fall then once daily care might not have been enough.
When an elderly person has a fall it might be due to a Uti or other infection or underlying health issue.
Delirium develops very quickly and is compounded by being in an unfamiluar environment.
She may have had a long lie which is when someone is lying on the floor unable to move until found.
Just 1-2 hours would be enough for pressure ulcers to begin but as the initial damage is in the deeper layers of the skin it would only show later.
Once they are admitted many elderly people refuse or are unable to engage with care particularly with therapists like physio/OT-they either won't or simply can't due to delirium.
A sudden lack of exercise-just a few hours can expedite deconditioning rapidly and the person never recovers.
This is all due to the aging process.
Whilst you know now she didn't injure herself they have to check for this or underlying reasons for the fall -heart conditions/ kidney/ uti
Many undetected advanced cancers are found in the elderly this way sadly

I understand you are very distressed but please consider that this is sadly often how elderly people deteriorate.
By all means go to PALS but bear in mind the PU may have been caused by lying after the fall, they might be moisture associated skin damage.
It's very sad and painful to see this but not necessarily anyone's fault

So sorry OP. I would be mad too. The multiple bed sores is bordering neglect. Sadly it doesn’t surprise me.

Although there is many wonderful, caring nurses, there is also many lazy, incompetent ones. I knew of one who used to go to work on a comedown.

I was on a ward after surgery in my late teens. The other patients were mostly elderly ladies. One poor lady soiled herself as she had been continually pressing her buzzer for assistance to the toilet and was ignored. Nurses were sat gossiping the majority of the time. The meals were also atrocious. I was in for just under 2 weeks and despite being very slim, lost 10lbs during the duration.

I would definitely escalate it. Could you contact PALS? If they fob you off write a formal complaint to the Ombudsman.

Oh hush, have you never had an inappropriate thought once in your perfect life?

If you talk to medical staff in the way you write, OP, I would guess they'd be pretty horrified.
I don't think you are giving us the full story, but if you want assistance you will need to treat professionals with some respect..

OP I think you need to complain about this. If there has been poor care and poor bed sore care in particular it needs to be investigated as this can be dangerous/life threatening and is not acceptable. As PP suggested you could get advice from PALS. You could also try speaking to local adult safeguarding team.

My Nan was living independently and went into hospital after tripping over her slippers and falling. She died a few weeks later in hospital. The care she received was atrocious , I witnessed it over and over again.

Thankfully my sister is a senior nurse in the NHS and knew the steps to take to address the failings in her care and after the fact we received an apology from the Trust in question but I dread to think how many elderly people are mistreated and don’t have anyone to stand up for them.

Bless you and your poor nan 💐
You could contact PALS to make a complaint, the bedsores are certainly a sign of neglect! 😢 perhaps sudocreme will ease her discomfort? Poor love.
I'm sure she'll be surrounded by lots of love and care now she's back out.

This.

She's naturally upset not "unhinged"...

Nice person you are kicking someone who is already down.

I’m so sorry OP xxxxx

For now focus on what you need to do for your dear grandma.

Once you have a clearer head you can make a complaint xx

Like the respect they treat all of the patients with eh....?

My elderly mother was in hospital late last year and was most definitely NOT ‘forgotten and abused within the NHS system’, they saved her life against all the odds, and treated her with compassion and dignity. I don’t think it’s helpful to make such misleading and hyperbolic statements.

The OP obviously needs to look into these particular circumstances but threats of violence towards nurses is hardly the way to go about it and is unacceptable.

I was in hospital for a couple of weeks and on two different wards in the same hospital. Ward A was horrible, you basically got ignored and had to fend for yourself. Ward B was totally different and I felt safe and cared for. I spoke to a hospital porter about it and he said both wards were equally busy but Ward A staff had an ‘attitude problem’. So it’s culture, leadership and work practices which can make a difference in my view and should be investigated. Management may know it but without explicit complaints it’s difficult to tackle.

You sound pretty entitled here. You and your family should have been at the hospital to advocate for your grab, help her to drink, make sure she was eating, etc.

The sudden decline you describe is really common after a fall, which is a huge shock to an old person. It’s well known that being in hospital, an unfamiliar setting, can hasten confusion. And a UTI can cause delirium.

Are you sure about the bed sores?

It sounds to me that you are feeling guilty, and taking it out on the nurses. If you never saw your gran in hospital, you have NO IDEA how she was treated.

I’d focus on organising care for your gran, treatment for the bed sores, if there are any, and read up on the ageing process.

That must be really distressing to see the change OP but falls are really serious and even without any serious injury, are a predictor of frailty and future falls risk. Hospitals generally don't want to keep patients in any longer than absolutely necessary, partly as they need the beds but also because they know the elderly can deteriorate very quickly and become deconditioned. As others have mentioned, I would be concerned about the bed sores. A single minor bed sore should be closely monitored let alone several.

And you wouldn't be upset?

It's only hyperbole so settle down.

You and your family should have been at the hospital to advocate for your gran

is that what our expectations of hospital care have come to? The reasons loved ones need to “advocate” is because of atrocious care!!
Bizarre.

That sounds like shocking care. She probably has delirium, which could mean an untreated infection. The bedsores warrant a complaint.
I am startled though that they kept her in? Usually they can’t discharge fast enough. There must be something more to this?