Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shaking with rage, can't sleep, NHS treatment of elderly

502 replies

Krupkrups · 16/04/2025 00:09

My Grandma (89) has finally come out of hospital tonight finally after nearly nearly 5 weeks.

There's been nothing wrong she had a fall nothing broken, nothing but they wouldn't let her go home my uncle has lived with her for past 8 months since his divorce and she had a career who comes on a lunchtime. They said because she didn't have anyone at home which is bullshit, then social services got involved who were a shower of shite, then the hospital 'forgot' to discharge her twice despite my parents, uncle and care team being at home twice waiting.

Before going into hospital she could;

Get herself and dressed nicely

Get Downstairs / upstairs

Get herself to toilet and wipe herself - no incontinence pants

Make herself food and drinks (hot drinks, kettle on etc.)

Do crosswords

Move around the house with, slowly and with the help of a stick and frame but she did

Her memory was clearly going and she has slowed down cognitively in conversations but she knew we all were still enjoyed face times from my children, still read the paper.

She's come out and frankly it's like she's come out of a Victorian asylum, I am heartbroken, she looks deranged when she's awake sunken eyes strange rolling eyes, has lost an absolute load of weight - she was always very slender possibly too slender before now she looks like a famine survivor.

She is incoherent most of the time when awake.

Can't get out of bed / apparently is imobile - well yes she is now

Can't feed herself isn't eating when being fed

Is wearing adult nappies which have to be changed and the carers are changing and wiping her mess

Is covered in bed sores

I am weeping and raging I feel like driving to the hospital and punching the nurses in that ward in the face!!!! What have they done to her.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Waitfortheguinness · 18/04/2025 22:13

Alexandra2001 · 18/04/2025 12:47

TBH if you speak them as you've replied to me, then its little wonder you get back attitude..... "reel your fucking neck in....." or i'll glass mate!!!

Show quote history

But it’s alright for you to speak to me like pos, without any justifiable reason. You have no idea what health issues I have, just spouted, well, if you can’t be “bothered” to attend a dictated appt time (like I was having my nails done or something) then I should just F off and die somewhere else…quietly and not dare to put anyone else out…..god forbid our sacred admin staff. However I must say I've met some wonderful ones….but in equal measures, I’ve also had to deal with some horrendous ones too.

Firefly1987 · 18/04/2025 23:50

WearyAuldWumman · 17/04/2025 11:30

I'm an only child with no siblings and no children of my own.

We added an extension so that I could move in Mum. On the last day of the build, DH had a major ischaemic stroke. He was in hospital 4 months learning to walk again.

In the meantime, I was working full time, diving to the hospital to see DH (and take in changes of clothes etc), then driving to Mum's spending the night there and trying to keep on top of work whilst decluttering at Mum's etc. Oh - and dealing with problems stemming from some of the work on the house being done incorrectly and a bolshie contractor demanding the final payment whilst denying that there were any problems.

I made the mistake of telling a HCP that I didn't know how I was going to cope with working full time and looking after two invalids. (DH had already been in poor health, but he now had hemiparesis.)

I was lectured. "You're no different from me! I'm working full time and I have two children."

Ah. I was unaware that two healthy children require the same moving and handling as two adults.

Show quote history

Shocking! That sounds incredibly difficult for you, can't believe the lack of empathy of some people. How clueless to think looking after two healthy children is anywhere on the same level as what you were going through. I hope you put her right on that.

Firefly1987 · 19/04/2025 00:16

Badbadbunny · 17/04/2025 10:25

@Firefly1987

but clear communication is needed and not false hope you can come out tomorrow when you can't!

Add in to that when they say on a Friday morning that you're ready to be discharged, and wait, and wait, and wait, it's it not until Monday before the paperwork has been done and the prescriptions given to you. That's happened to me and other family members a few times. Bed blocking all weekend because the "admin" and pharmacy staff have Friday afternoon off and won't return till Monday morning. (Other than the "skeleton" pharmacy staff issuing drugs for in-patients who won't issue anything for out-patients or discharges).

In my case, I was basically ignored from Friday to Monday - no "obs" as I'd been cleared to be discharged, no nurses came near. Just the HCA bringing meals. None of the staff seemed remotely interested that I was still there, taking up a bed, so it must be pretty normal to them.

It really should be a proper 24-7 organisation, not just for emergencies/urgent things as bed blocking over a weekend is probably partly why A&E is always rammed as they're full of patients needing to be admitted, who can't have beds because people waiting to be discharged are still bed-blocking.

That's exactly what happened with MIL. She spent 48 hours on a trolley in A&E over New Year, then, funnily enough, they found a bed for her on first day back after the bank holiday!

I think NHS staff are somehow immune to seeing the realities of what's in front of them. Perhaps they've been in the NHS so long, they know nothing changes so just accept all the stupidity and inefficiency and damage to patients as inevitable. None of it is acceptable and it needs challenging.

That's terrible letting beds be taken up unnecessarily. Your poor MIL stuck on a trolley all that time. I don't think we've ever had that experience thankfully, our A&E department isn't as bad as some places for wait times and people stuck on trolleys. But plenty other bad experiences sadly. They've been really good at other times but overall I think we've had more terrible experiences than good. Definitely agree they need to get things moving over the weekend.

PearReview · 19/04/2025 07:22

Of course there should be some flexibility allowed with appt scheduling. Yes, NHS appointments are important but people have other stuff going on in their lives too.

I am an NHS consultant. If a patient wants to reschedule their appointment because they say wanted to see their child’s nativity play, that’s fine by me. Also, I am in my 50s with some health problems, but never take time off sick. If I get sent a medical appointment for me, and it clashes with a clinic or ward round that I am running, then I will call and try and get the appointment changed to my admin day. Because I do not want to let down patients who may have had a long wait to see me. I don’t think anybody can seriously object to that?

NewspaperTaxis · 19/04/2025 18:33

I think the OP should be looking at Forticreme - a kind of highly nutritional yoghurt I recommend the Fruits of the Forest one - which is not cheap, around £14 for four of them, you get it from the chemist or the GP could prescribe it. Also, protein shakes but it is all down to her swallowing capacity of course. If she can use a straw, you are half-way there imo. I didn't quite pick up on whether she's been allowed back home or is still in hospital?

Given my experiences with two elderly parents who have now died, it does appear the hospital was trying to 'murder' your grandmother. I put the word in inverted commas, because it's not murder when the State does it, and anyway the police don't investigate this stuff. Technically euthanasia is illegal but they can get around that by simply wearing an elderly person down via poor care. This goes on in care homes as well. If push comes to shove, they can use an injection but they'd prefer not to.

The way forward - if this turns out to be relevant - is to obtain Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare, which they have to be in a position to grant, ie of sound mind. That way, you are better placed to insist they return home, though wily hospital staff may still find a way around that. But without LPA, you don't have a chance.

We got Dad out of Epsom Hospital after three days but it turned very nasty - the matron appeared out of nowhere and got her colleagues to start filming us on the smart phone! She was furious we were getting him out, though his tests were fine and there was nothing wrong with him by now, it was a hiccup. They tried every trick in the book to keep him in.

Six months later he had to go in again and this time he actually was significantly ill, and we opted for another ward, but three days was all it took, he was dead. In fairness, he was in a worse state but... it was a bit quick, let's just say. I mean, we couldn't have done a worse job and yes, there was the tell-tale awful pressure wound, We'd been looking after him at home and he never got anything like that in years, it took them just a day, nice one. When it was discovered, the carers - like clockwork, looked at my sister accusingly!

Dad's stats were fine on the day incidentally, so I was lulled into a false sense of security, I was biding my time but should have known really. Suffice to say if you have a nurse administering a sedative all the better to apply a canula or do a blood test, or an injection to give 'antibiotics', you better watch out.

I'd had a similar experience with my mother years earlier in Surrey care homes. They try to put them in a situation where 'end-of-life care' aka ending life care can be justified, it's similar to the now illegal Liverpool Care Pathway, but they get around that by simply calling it something else, or nothing at all.

The Families Against Involuntary Medical Euthanasia (FAIME) campaign group can give you more information on this.

I wouldn't mention this thread to anyone if I were you because the joke about what you'd like to do to the staff could be exploited to have you barred from the ward - then they can do what they want to your relative without impediment.

Rockhopper1 · 19/04/2025 18:37

In my experience this is horribly common . Same thing happened to my Mother .

JenniferBooth · 19/04/2025 23:56

Waitfortheguinness · 18/04/2025 08:34

The actual commitment I had was a dentist appt which are like rocking horse shit!!!! Id had to wait weeks for this appt, god knows when I’d get another. So reel your f’ing neck in. I attend regular hospital appts for follow up and review only, and have always attended when scheduled, but for this one important occasion. I have had several appts cancelled by them, sometimes with only a few days notice…..but I don’t feel the need to go into pompous git mode and talk to people like they’re children. A lot of others on here seem to have similar issues. I have a lot of respect for what the NHS workers have to do, of course, but sometimes it seems there is definitely an attitude of when they shout……you have to ask how high
No I don’t expect them to jump to others whims, but I was highlighting the rudeness and holier than thou attitude that I dare to ask for another time booking………

Show quote history

Seems the NHS and housing associations have quite a lot in common

BlueandWhitePorcelain · 20/04/2025 08:37

NewspaperTaxis · 19/04/2025 18:33

I think the OP should be looking at Forticreme - a kind of highly nutritional yoghurt I recommend the Fruits of the Forest one - which is not cheap, around £14 for four of them, you get it from the chemist or the GP could prescribe it. Also, protein shakes but it is all down to her swallowing capacity of course. If she can use a straw, you are half-way there imo. I didn't quite pick up on whether she's been allowed back home or is still in hospital?

Given my experiences with two elderly parents who have now died, it does appear the hospital was trying to 'murder' your grandmother. I put the word in inverted commas, because it's not murder when the State does it, and anyway the police don't investigate this stuff. Technically euthanasia is illegal but they can get around that by simply wearing an elderly person down via poor care. This goes on in care homes as well. If push comes to shove, they can use an injection but they'd prefer not to.

The way forward - if this turns out to be relevant - is to obtain Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare, which they have to be in a position to grant, ie of sound mind. That way, you are better placed to insist they return home, though wily hospital staff may still find a way around that. But without LPA, you don't have a chance.

We got Dad out of Epsom Hospital after three days but it turned very nasty - the matron appeared out of nowhere and got her colleagues to start filming us on the smart phone! She was furious we were getting him out, though his tests were fine and there was nothing wrong with him by now, it was a hiccup. They tried every trick in the book to keep him in.

Six months later he had to go in again and this time he actually was significantly ill, and we opted for another ward, but three days was all it took, he was dead. In fairness, he was in a worse state but... it was a bit quick, let's just say. I mean, we couldn't have done a worse job and yes, there was the tell-tale awful pressure wound, We'd been looking after him at home and he never got anything like that in years, it took them just a day, nice one. When it was discovered, the carers - like clockwork, looked at my sister accusingly!

Dad's stats were fine on the day incidentally, so I was lulled into a false sense of security, I was biding my time but should have known really. Suffice to say if you have a nurse administering a sedative all the better to apply a canula or do a blood test, or an injection to give 'antibiotics', you better watch out.

I'd had a similar experience with my mother years earlier in Surrey care homes. They try to put them in a situation where 'end-of-life care' aka ending life care can be justified, it's similar to the now illegal Liverpool Care Pathway, but they get around that by simply calling it something else, or nothing at all.

The Families Against Involuntary Medical Euthanasia (FAIME) campaign group can give you more information on this.

I wouldn't mention this thread to anyone if I were you because the joke about what you'd like to do to the staff could be exploited to have you barred from the ward - then they can do what they want to your relative without impediment.

Yes, we believed it happened to MIL in a care home.

Blinkyy · 20/04/2025 09:14

Why would they bump off care home residents. They are paying to be there.

JenniferBooth · 20/04/2025 14:18

DM went both in and out of hospital on GOOD Friday

LaurieFairyCake · 20/04/2025 16:00

newspapertaxis

could I hear more about this, I’m wondering the reasons.

i also had a fit 90 year old relative die in Epsom hospital of pneumonia, it was a real shock as he was very very fit and when we spoke on the phone multiple times a day was completely fine, not breathless. We assumed getting antibiotics via drip. Died in 3 days.

this was during Covid so no visitors allowed.

JenniferBooth · 20/04/2025 18:15

DoingthefullGareth · 16/04/2025 13:59

Look after them better?

instead we get them stuck in ambulances outside A & E for hours with non life threatening stuff or bed blocking also causing an ambulance and overall drain on resources.

Show quote history

So where is your petition against the mental capacity rule. Is it on the petitions board cos i dont recall seeing it there 🤔

JenniferBooth · 20/04/2025 18:32

Bigham · 18/04/2025 13:13

I agree and there are so many experts on here about it. Equally the number of people who have never nursed in their lives but think they know all about it because it’s essentially just ‘woman’s work’.
Not saying there aren’t issues but it also treats millions everyday successfully. The fact that there are notices all over our hospital warning patients and visitors not to direct verbal and physical abuse at staff says it all..

Show quote history

And how many NHS staff ring the daughter rather than the son of the elderly patient i wonder.

Dymaxion · 20/04/2025 18:39

And how many NHS staff ring the daughter rather than the son of the elderly patient i wonder.

If the Son's number is there and they have been designated NOK then they get a phone call. We all need to make sure our Sons and Daughters details are on our records, if they are adults, and especially if they have POA, its easy enough to do.

jacks11 · 20/04/2025 19:56

@Krupkrups
i’m a dr OP, and whilst I am not saying there were no issues with her care (the bed sores are a cause for concern), I think it is also possible that some of these issues are not to do with poor care in hospital and more to do with her health.

Your grandmother had a fall and was admitted to hospital, which makes me wonder if there was more to it if she had no injury. An elderly person having a single minor fall with no injury or complication, who is otherwise well, is generally not admitted to hospital. It sounds like there was a bit more to it- e.g, multiple falls and not managing well at home, fall with a long lie, concern that the falls were due to a more serious underlying condition that needed investigation. The fall may have been precipitated by, or triggered, something else. Do you think this is possible?

It sounds to me possible that your grandmother has developed delirium. This is a complicated condition in that it is highly variable in it’s presentation (people can be agitated, drowsy or just more confused than usual, or a mix of all 3, for instance), for some people it can wax and wane (e.g. worse at night, or improve for a few days and then seem back to square one with no obvious trigger) and can last for prolonged periods. Mobility, continence and cognitive function can take a real hit. If your grandmother has developed delirium, it could be that she will improve over time, but some patients never quite get back to where they were before they became unwell.

Elderly people with cognitive impairment/dementia are more prone to delirium, and if she was having falls this may also reflect something underlying, or sometimes simply increasing frailty. Triggers for delirium are numerous- infections are a common one, but truly any physical illnesses can lead to delirium, as can constipation or being in pain. Changes in environment- being admitted to hospital or going into a care home, or even sometimes going home from hospital, can also contribute to onset or continuation/worsening of delirium.

I agree coming out of hospital with bed sores is not good- sometimes very frail or il patients can develop them even with the best care- but they can be due to inadequate care. Similarly, weight loss can be caused by being unwell, but it can also be due to poor nursing care (and sometimes I really think the fact that hospital food leaves a lot to be desired is a factor too). You could speak to PALS if you genuinely think there is no other explanation.

As for what you can do to improve things from here, I think a good step would be to let your district nursing team know re the bed sores- they will need to be looked after properly in order to heal. If you don’t know how to contact your local district nurse team, your gp will be able to give you their contact details. In our area, they also manage many continence issues, e.g. pad provision, so they may be helpful for that aspect to. I also agree that making an appointment with your GP is a good idea, though there may not be a quick fix if she has developed delirium.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 20/04/2025 20:07

Following with interest as my 85 year old DF died in hospital on Thursday night after a three week stay that neither of us expected to end like this. While yes, he was frail with multiple health conditions, and yes, some members of staff were excellent, I have questions, many questions. I was with him every day for between 8 - 10 hours, bar two, and for 24 hours a day when he was deemed EOL on Tuesday after a shockingly quick decline.

But this has followed about 15 months of shocking buck passing by the housing department, social services and his GP. It's been a very long complicated story, and I do have grounds for significant complaints in pretty much every direction which I will be pursuing with a vengeance once the blessed bank holidays are over and I can start the sadmin for the third time in 5 years. (Lost Mum during Covid, and DP in 2022).

So I empathise with the OP and stand in solidarity with all those who have seen their elderly relatives suffer unnecessarily.

My biggest bug bear in hospital was the slow process such as an NG tube being ordered on a Monday, it not being fitted till Tuesday, the x-ray to check positioning not being done till Wednesday morning, then feeding not starting until the afternoon. This was because my Dad's weight had dropped 4 stone in a year, despite him eating well, and the GP being a bit "well, you're old and ill" -shrug - despite it being raised at multiple appointments. He dropped another stone during his hospital stay but that's quite common, apparently......

There's alot more but I'm still a bit in shock. But by the Gods, there will be calm and measured complaints across all the agencies, which I can do now, because my Dad had capacity to the end, and never wanted to rock the boat, which meant I had to respect his wishes and not add to his distress. He was also fearful that complaining would impact his care, sadly.

Ah well, it is what it is. But it's the last thing I promised I would do for him, and I will. Nothing left to lose now.

WearyAuldWumman · 20/04/2025 20:15

I'm sorry for your loss, @MistressoftheDarkSide .

JenniferBooth · 20/04/2025 20:38

@MistressoftheDarkSide Im sorry for your loss Flowers Flowers

NewspaperTaxis · 20/04/2025 22:57

Blinkyy · 20/04/2025 09:14

Why would they bump off care home residents. They are paying to be there.

Well - and @LaurieFairyCake can be copied into this as they were asking about Epsom General Hospital from my post - it's true that care homes get paid, so often residents get two years' grace, especially if they are self-funding because they are subsidising Council-funded residents at the home to the tune of several hundred pounds a week.

But so long as the rooms are filled, it doesn't matter WHO is paying for them, there can be a turnover. So long as they aren't left empty. In fact, they might turn a profit if there is an overlap and a deceased resident has to pay until the end of the month, while a new resident is in within a week.

But generally care homes are in cahoots with the local authority aka the County Council and they really are the local mafia. Care homes often rely on referrals from the Council and block bookings, and can be blacklisted by Councils should they not toe the line. Ultimately, dead bodies save the local Council and the NHS a fortune in pensions and prescriptions, and also give the Govt a hefty windfall tax, chances are.

There are also rumours of a bonus for placing someone on 'end-of-life care'.

The State is working its way through a backlog, let's put it that way.

Here is another recent obituary that popped up in the Epsom Comet in which they felt compelled to mention Epsom Hospital - they mention how she 'passed away suddenly and mysteriously... in Epsom District Hospital'.

Shaking with rage, can't sleep, NHS treatment of elderly
RosesAndHellebores · 20/04/2025 23:15

I need to read back. Epsom General Hospital is my local. It has been used twice by this family. In my experience it is an establishment where rudeness, disrespect, poor standards and clinical incompetence prevail. It will never be used again by this family. @LaurieFairyCake

Will catch up.

RosesAndHellebores · 20/04/2025 23:35

NewspaperTaxis · 19/04/2025 18:33

I think the OP should be looking at Forticreme - a kind of highly nutritional yoghurt I recommend the Fruits of the Forest one - which is not cheap, around £14 for four of them, you get it from the chemist or the GP could prescribe it. Also, protein shakes but it is all down to her swallowing capacity of course. If she can use a straw, you are half-way there imo. I didn't quite pick up on whether she's been allowed back home or is still in hospital?

Given my experiences with two elderly parents who have now died, it does appear the hospital was trying to 'murder' your grandmother. I put the word in inverted commas, because it's not murder when the State does it, and anyway the police don't investigate this stuff. Technically euthanasia is illegal but they can get around that by simply wearing an elderly person down via poor care. This goes on in care homes as well. If push comes to shove, they can use an injection but they'd prefer not to.

The way forward - if this turns out to be relevant - is to obtain Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare, which they have to be in a position to grant, ie of sound mind. That way, you are better placed to insist they return home, though wily hospital staff may still find a way around that. But without LPA, you don't have a chance.

We got Dad out of Epsom Hospital after three days but it turned very nasty - the matron appeared out of nowhere and got her colleagues to start filming us on the smart phone! She was furious we were getting him out, though his tests were fine and there was nothing wrong with him by now, it was a hiccup. They tried every trick in the book to keep him in.

Six months later he had to go in again and this time he actually was significantly ill, and we opted for another ward, but three days was all it took, he was dead. In fairness, he was in a worse state but... it was a bit quick, let's just say. I mean, we couldn't have done a worse job and yes, there was the tell-tale awful pressure wound, We'd been looking after him at home and he never got anything like that in years, it took them just a day, nice one. When it was discovered, the carers - like clockwork, looked at my sister accusingly!

Dad's stats were fine on the day incidentally, so I was lulled into a false sense of security, I was biding my time but should have known really. Suffice to say if you have a nurse administering a sedative all the better to apply a canula or do a blood test, or an injection to give 'antibiotics', you better watch out.

I'd had a similar experience with my mother years earlier in Surrey care homes. They try to put them in a situation where 'end-of-life care' aka ending life care can be justified, it's similar to the now illegal Liverpool Care Pathway, but they get around that by simply calling it something else, or nothing at all.

The Families Against Involuntary Medical Euthanasia (FAIME) campaign group can give you more information on this.

I wouldn't mention this thread to anyone if I were you because the joke about what you'd like to do to the staff could be exploited to have you barred from the ward - then they can do what they want to your relative without impediment.

I refuse to be treated or allow family members to bre treated at Epsom Hospital. It is a dysfunctional, toxic mix of incompetence. It is wholly unacceptable. Roll on the promised new facility at Sutton. Paradoxically, although it is a visual sh1t-tip, I have found standards of care and professionalism at St Helier, far better.

mathanxiety · 20/04/2025 23:49

This really is bad.

Call her GP about the bedsores and see if she can be checked for a UTI.

She will need extra nutrition - there are calorific protein shakes available. Perhaps the GP could order them.

If you and the other adult can take her to the GP asap, please do.
She needs a thorough physical exam, extra nutrition, a UTI screening, and the bedsores attended to.

mathanxiety · 20/04/2025 23:56

Blinkyy · 20/04/2025 09:14

Why would they bump off care home residents. They are paying to be there.

Some require more work than others...

WearyAuldWumman · 20/04/2025 23:56

NewspaperTaxis · 19/04/2025 18:33

I think the OP should be looking at Forticreme - a kind of highly nutritional yoghurt I recommend the Fruits of the Forest one - which is not cheap, around £14 for four of them, you get it from the chemist or the GP could prescribe it. Also, protein shakes but it is all down to her swallowing capacity of course. If she can use a straw, you are half-way there imo. I didn't quite pick up on whether she's been allowed back home or is still in hospital?

Given my experiences with two elderly parents who have now died, it does appear the hospital was trying to 'murder' your grandmother. I put the word in inverted commas, because it's not murder when the State does it, and anyway the police don't investigate this stuff. Technically euthanasia is illegal but they can get around that by simply wearing an elderly person down via poor care. This goes on in care homes as well. If push comes to shove, they can use an injection but they'd prefer not to.

The way forward - if this turns out to be relevant - is to obtain Lasting Power of Attorney in Health and Welfare, which they have to be in a position to grant, ie of sound mind. That way, you are better placed to insist they return home, though wily hospital staff may still find a way around that. But without LPA, you don't have a chance.

We got Dad out of Epsom Hospital after three days but it turned very nasty - the matron appeared out of nowhere and got her colleagues to start filming us on the smart phone! She was furious we were getting him out, though his tests were fine and there was nothing wrong with him by now, it was a hiccup. They tried every trick in the book to keep him in.

Six months later he had to go in again and this time he actually was significantly ill, and we opted for another ward, but three days was all it took, he was dead. In fairness, he was in a worse state but... it was a bit quick, let's just say. I mean, we couldn't have done a worse job and yes, there was the tell-tale awful pressure wound, We'd been looking after him at home and he never got anything like that in years, it took them just a day, nice one. When it was discovered, the carers - like clockwork, looked at my sister accusingly!

Dad's stats were fine on the day incidentally, so I was lulled into a false sense of security, I was biding my time but should have known really. Suffice to say if you have a nurse administering a sedative all the better to apply a canula or do a blood test, or an injection to give 'antibiotics', you better watch out.

I'd had a similar experience with my mother years earlier in Surrey care homes. They try to put them in a situation where 'end-of-life care' aka ending life care can be justified, it's similar to the now illegal Liverpool Care Pathway, but they get around that by simply calling it something else, or nothing at all.

The Families Against Involuntary Medical Euthanasia (FAIME) campaign group can give you more information on this.

I wouldn't mention this thread to anyone if I were you because the joke about what you'd like to do to the staff could be exploited to have you barred from the ward - then they can do what they want to your relative without impediment.

I had POA for my dad and Victoria Hospital place a DNR on him without consulting me. Same with my Mum, though she eventually made it home.

I told hospital staff that if I heard the words 'Liverpool Pathway' I'd create merry hell - but a lot of damage was done before I got the Nil By Mouth overturned.

When it comes to my time, I'm stuffed - I have no children.

TeaAndTattoos · 21/04/2025 00:02

Sounds to me like she has environmental delirium from being in the hospital for so long it is very often mistaken for dementia. My grandma has it from all her stays in the hospital.

Swipe left for the next trending thread