P E teacher. Please help.

[Chickencuddle]

I phoned in today about my daughter being denied her inhaler during PE. I asked to speak to head of pastoral care. But I got a phone call back from PEt teacher who flat out denied and basically said my dd is lying. She also said she wasn't working hard enough to be out of breath or even breaking a sweat. I said this didn't matter and she needs her inhaler. She said she didn't say she needed her inhaler.
I felt so bad and actually considered if my dd had lied although would be so so out of character for her. I spoke to dd who was shocked and upset about what the PE teacher had said. She insured me she was telling the truth and said her friend had been with her and also she had spoken to a classroom assistant after teacher told her she couldn't get it telling her what teacher had said and classroom assistant said if she didn't feel better soon she had her permission to go get it. But she told me she jyst dealt with the breathlessness and got her inhaler after PE.

Teacher mentioned that changing rooms are 10 minutes away from hall and that dd has never brought her inhaler. I said maybe that could be mentioned that next time she brings it with her. She said that needs to be something I tell her as she has enough kids to deal with. I said that's fine but I wasn't to know it was so far away. I'm only just hearing that now. Also why is she telling me this if dd actually didn't ask?

She has said mean things to dd before denied her toilet which I had to phone for. I didn't want this to be a big thing just wanted PE teacher to let dd use inhaler. But now feels like a big thing and feel like I have to clear dds name as head of year bas spoken to PE reacher and obviouslt believes this as she told her to ohone me i assume.. I believe dd. the details and things she was saying and way she was saying it. Plus I phoned friends mum and explained and asked to speak to her dd. Her dd said exactly what mine said.

What do I do now?

It is weird of the teacher not to allow her to get an inhaler, especially after you have already complained about her not being allowed to go to the toilet.

Some schools are really strict about kids leaving lessons as some of them piss about and vandalise the school. PE teachers have to be extra tough on this as half the class would be out of the lesson, if the teacher let them.

You have done what you can with the teacher now all you can do is tell your daughter to keep her inhaler on her.

I’m really looking forward to the plot twist when the TA speaks up after op follows the advice here and lodges a “formal complaint” due to being MN absolutely livid… and it turns out that the PE teacher did not in fact lie.

OP, you still don't seem to care that your daughter has an inadequate asthma plan.

An adequate plan would make it crystal clear what teachers should do if she needs her inhaler.

I really hope you're not a teacher.

I haven't missed the point that the teacher says it didn't happen. That was sort of part of my point - that MN is always full of people who can't comprehend that a teacher could be wrong. I had a teacher when I was a child who used to throw things at the class when angry. I guess you would defend that as well?

Why do you say the child wasn't having an asthma attack? It sounds like they were. When my DC has an attack he doesn't present dramatically wheezing like they show on TV. He goes very quiet.

And it sounds to me that DD was unsure if she should obey the teacher or the TA which is why she didn't go and get the inhaler. YOU have assumed that she CBA. Why is that?

As for the toilet issue and reporting as a safeguarding concern, well it would entirely depend on the circumstances. As, if you are a teacher, you should well know. I'm a safeguarding officer, albeit in adults, so I understand that situations are never black and white. From OP's account it doesn't sound like it was unreasonable for her to call the school to ask them to account for what had happened.

I’m quite shocked at many of the replies here. I’m fully on your side op - and would be kicking up an almighty stink if this was my child. I’d ask for a meeting with the head. Get a written statement from dd and the friend saying what happened. Print off google all the news reports of kids who’ve died at school from attacks without easy access to inhaler. Explain your complaint is two fold- firstly that your daughter was not allowed to get her inhaler, and secondly that the teacher accused her of lying when the friends account perfectly backs up what happened. Ask to speak to the ta as well. I would be raising merry hell that the teacher tried to save their skin my accusing your dd

I wasninformed yesterday that all teachers had been notified that she should have her inhaler on her at all times and be allowed to use it if needed. And that they have it all on her file etc.
I think the focus has shifted slightly originally wanted to just make sure she was allowed inhaler. However due to PEt teachers response I now want to make sure the blame isn't jyst put on her. Of course I still want her to have access to her inhaler. And thatnof course is main concern. However I'm jyst justifying the need to express dds opinion.

Also don't think it was right how head spoke to teacher but not her. And then pe teacher phoned rather that pastoral care.

Jesus Christ. She’s 11. Pull yourself together.

Having seen a child nearly die from an asthma attack many years ago while at school I'm disgusted by many of these comments. I still think about the child and how scary it was.

Formal complaint to the Head about this teacher. Absolutely bloody unacceptable.

No its not the childs responsibility to carry an inhaler. Alot of schools hold them and the child only has to carry one on them for school trips. Get off your ranting horse and check facts before you go into one.

The head of year isn’t going to think your DD is a liar, all he/she would have done is say to the PE teacher please phone home and sort this out. Generally in schools, it’s best to talk to the teacher concerned first as it’s much more effective than trying to go through another person and to be frank I suspect the head of year has more urgent things to do. They certainly won’t think your DD is a liar based on one incident. If they’ve thought anything, it’s likely to be a misunderstanding.
If you’re thinking about making a complaint to ‘clear your DD’s name’ then it probably isn’t worth it. I believe in standing up for yourself, but also knowing when to pick your battles. I suspect it would end up with a recollections may vary scenario and no outcome.

Honestly YOU have turned this into a war where there was absolutely no need.

The fact is your daughter didn’t actually need the inhaler. The teacher was correct.

Your DD was fine until the end of the lesson. She did the whole lesson and she is on track to get an A because of this. But you have glossed over that and focused on the teachers faults.

PE teachers don’t want children having emergencies in their class do they. If she looked in the slightest bit ill she or someone would have got her the inhaler ASAP.

Who on earth would be a teacher these days? Another "blame the teacher" post from an OP who is adamant that their child would never hyperbolise what truly happened let alone outright lie. Assuming your daughter is of secondary school age, she should be responsible for carrying her own inhaler; the PE teacher has 30 children to teach, many of which may need an inhaler. Babying secondary school age teenagers does them absolutely no favours. She probably intentionally left it in the other room as an excuse to dodge out of part out of the class.

I don't know what the point of calling the PE teacher was if you had no intention of believing what she had to say.

This is your issue.

The changing rooms and toilets will all be locked. They cannot let the children go off unsupervised. Which is why they’re told to go before.

This isn’t a how dare you issue. It’s a life lesson for your child.

This is all fantasy. Why should a phone magically disappear? If DD has an episode unsupervised, how would the teacher 10 minutes away even know, let alone feel they had to bring the class back?

The problem is the school/PE teacher didn’t brand your DD a liar. The teacher didn’t let her out of the lesson which you have taken issue with. So now it’s become about who said what and lying.

Op the time is fast approaching where she will need to be out in the world. Micro managing every interaction won’t enable her. It’s hard enough to let them go when they are confident and capable but really tough if they are more vulnerable.

Unsure how it’s possible to hear that with a stethoscope. Doesn’t sound like she has asthma though as presence of wheeze is one of the diagnostic criteria.

I agree it is a life lesson for the child. I'm a lifelong asthmatic and it's my responsibility to ensure I have my inhaler with me. Tell you daughter to take the inhaler everywhere with her, PE/other sport is somewhere she should have quick access to it if necessary.

I would not make a big deal out of it. DD does not ‘need her name cleared’. If she has her inhaler with her in future the issue won’t arise again - and that is what is important, not apportioning blame or deciding who is 'lying'.

Tbh debating whether she had a wheeze or not is just pointless. I'm not a doctor all I know is what I've been told. She will sometimes be wheezy this time she wasn't.

DS can have long stable periods, but we've learned the hard way that chest tightness and fatigue are his first signs of a flare up and time to increase medication from maintainence rate before wheezing presents, and to use his reliever in anticipation of activities like sports when his risk level is elevated.

Being a skitty 12yo, it's a slog to keep his mind focused on the importance of remembering his inhalers for everything when he's several months into a stable phase.

I mean this kindly OP, but for your daughter’s sake, let it go. They have addressed the pressing medical question, thankfully. You are now just on the war path, and for what? So the teacher - who is supporting your daughter to get her grade to an A, praising her for doing really well - gets sacked?

You’ve been told many times - teachers have the needs of 30 kids at once to deal with; many kids take the piss unbelievably in PE and it can be hard to tell who just wants 20 mins off; teachers are human and don’t always get it right; many are quite young and don’t have kids with conditions to give context.

By going all out to ‘clear your daughter’s name’ over something that has now been addressed you risk looking vindictive and a trouble maker, and creating a much more negative association for your daughter than the original situation would have caused. The school are also less likely to respond well to you next time as you would have destroyed good will by causing a stink.

As someone who has had to have countless conversations with secondary school over the years and really needed the help of teachers and leadership- pick your battles.

She's 11 and newly diagnosed. People are attributing their healthy adult approaches to remembering things to a child. Yes, on the one hand it's an opportunity for op to reinforce to her dd that she must now take responsibility for her own health condition. The fact that it caused her discomfort is probably enough for her to have 'learned the lesson'. And op has explained why she has not yet got a spare one (but presumably intends to, having also 'learned a lesson'). But teachers shouldn't be taking risks with health, particularly a newly diagnosed child who is un-used to having to remember a life saving device. So what if she misses 10 mins of the lesson? Easy enough (and common sense!) for the teacher to say "ok, on this occasion please go and get it, please make sure you bring a spare. And if it happens again, you won't be able to leave the class", or words to that effect. Isn't that how we all learn? Make a mistake, get a reprieve on the understanding that you learn from it and don't repeat it?

Do you mean blame should be put on PE teacher and school? And why is it so bad that PE teacher called rather than pastoral care? Could be PC were unavailable and school wanted you to get feedback asap? Or wanted PE teacher to give you feedback because you previously called her? I think school has taken corrective action but what do you want next? It seems you want headteacher and pastoral care to apologise speak to your daughter?
It feels like this will never end for you s you've lost trust or what something school might not be able to give you and you daughter. Consider changing schools?

Aerobic exercise is extremely good for asthmatics - essential even.

But your DD needs to learn to manage her condition. She needs to be responsible for carrying her inhaler and taking a couple of puffs before she starts exercising. And she could also learn some effective breathing techniques to control breath flow under exertion so her bronchioli don’t seize up and spasm, causing the really uncomfortable wheezing.

All of this should be becoming her responsibility and she needs to remember to use her inhaler just before PE. Maybe just as she’s getting changed?

If it were me I would have let her get the inhaler.

Where in the country are you that you are still at school?