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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Embarrassing smear

20 replies

Biscuit12 · 15/04/2025 20:51

Went for an overdue smear test today, something I’d put off for a long time. Nurse quite abrupt, not very friendly - I realise she doesn’t have to be but already felt awkward so someone a bit warmer would have helped. Anyway, she tries to do the test but seems to be struggling to insert the thingy - keeps asking me to cough. I can tell she has it at the wrong angle. Eventually she manages and then comments I have a lot of discharge!! Felt so embarrassed- did she have to comment on that? Asks if usually have a lot of discharge- I’ve never really noticed, I just said sometimes and nothing further is said. Came back, googled - discharge during a smear is normal. I don’t know why she’d say it!

OP posts:

ScaryM0nster · 15/04/2025 20:53

A big change in discharge can be an indicator of a problem - so that would be why she mentioned it. If it’s normal for you then it’s less likely to be an issue.

Limeandbasil90 · 15/04/2025 20:54

Why is that embarrassing?

Sugarplum48 · 15/04/2025 20:54

If it's your normal then l wouldn't worry. As for the nurse, some are great, others are meh. I wouldn't worry

GoodVibesHere · 15/04/2025 21:02

Limeandbasil90 · 15/04/2025 20:54

Why is that embarrassing?

It just is, don't you think? I'm not sure how the nurse expected OP to respond to that comment. Maybe 'thanks', or 'sorry' ?!

My guess is that the nurse was struggling to do the test (for whatever reason) and so mumbled something about your discharge being the reason why she was struggling. She didn't need to say anything really.

Bobbybobbins · 15/04/2025 21:02

I had the opposite- had a student nurse in for mine and the nurse doing it was talking the student through it, commented ‘see it’s typical not to have much discharge in peri menopause’

Springadorable · 15/04/2025 21:07

Sounds like she does smears day in day out and is just very matter of fact.

YouRemindMe0fTheBabe · 15/04/2025 21:13

Sounds like a normal comment to make during a smear test. I know it can feel awkward but you really need to get over your embarrassment and be honest. It's important to be able to talk openly about your body with health professionals. You say in your OP that you have never noticed having a lot of discharge and yet you told the nurse you "sometimes" do. Why say that if it isn't true?

Growlybear83 · 15/04/2025 21:16

I really don’t see why this was embarrassing either. I assumed you were going to say that you’d farted loudly.

Fairyliz · 15/04/2025 21:16

I finding more and more that people who deal with the public/patients/customers etc have literally no people skills whatsoever.
No kindness, no empathy, no respect.
Im sorry you went through this op, surely she would know most women find a smear uncomfortable or embarrassing so a few kind words would help.
Im not sure what the answer is.

UndermyShoeJoe · 15/04/2025 21:19

I think I’d rather that than the one who looked me in the eyes mid rummage asking about my holidays plans like she wasn’t swabbing my cervix 😬

As others have said changes in discharge can be a sign of problems so she was asking about your normal amount since maybe you naturally have slightly more than average out of the ladies she sees.

steff13 · 15/04/2025 21:19

If she mentioned it and asked you if it was normal for you, I would assume she was trying to gauge whether it was a possible symptom or if it was just how it is for you.

GabbySolisX · 15/04/2025 21:21

I wouldn’t worry op it’s just a normal question. I went for one a couple of weeks ago too and was asked if I have a lot of discharge / normal discharge. There was a student male in the room so I did feel a bit awkward answering. I’m sure she just wanted to make sure that was your norm! :)

Moonnstars · 15/04/2025 21:23

I would have assumed the discharge comment was a medical question and she was asking whether this was normal for you to make a note of it if it was out of the ordinary. Sometimes it might be that something is picked up in a routine appointment that could be an indicator of something else, so I would have assumed she was just doing her job.
Sorry she wasn't more friendly though, as I agree it does help if someone does seem to be kind and understanding of it not being a pleasant procedure.

FoxFaceRabbitFish · 15/04/2025 21:24

I think some posters here are being a bit harsh on the OP. I would expect any nurse carrying out a smear test to understand many women find them embarrassing or stressful, and to ensure they had a good bedside manner to try and put women at ease as much as possible. It might be routine for them but it isn’t for the patient! OP I’m sorry it sounds like the nurse didn’t make you feel comfortable during a procedure where it is normal to feel vulnerable.

redsquirrel07 · 15/04/2025 21:25

When I went to see the nurse not long ago she weighed me and then commented that I have gained weight (bearing in mind I used to have an eating disorder (1) it was insensitive and (2) I am obviously a lot heavier compared to my incredibly unhealthy weight previously.

I tried not to take it too personally, I think she was just quite matter of fact. Nevertheless, I think it could have been said in a different way or just not said at all.

On a different note, I bought some lube (amongst other things) at Tesco today and the cashier said "I'm interested to know what you're making with all of this". I laughed it off and wasn't offended but did wonder why she brought it up 🤣🤣

My thinking is that these people are all human too so I suppose we should cut them a bit of slack for sometimes slipping up or not quite getting it right.

redsquirrel07 · 15/04/2025 21:26

Sorry I should also have said that I'm sorry you were made to feel so uncomfortable during a very personal moment x

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 15/04/2025 21:30

Maybe you have BV OR THRUSH. She's asking if you have noted an increase. Your taking it wrong. If have personally asked for a swab at same time to check.

WhatMe123 · 15/04/2025 21:34

She's just checking it's not a sign of say an infection etc op she just sounds abrupt which isn't very nice during a smear

Darkclothes · 15/04/2025 21:38

She asked, because excessive discharge might be a sign of an STI or some other infection! Potentially requiring additional swabs to check whilst there.

Maybe her approach wasn't the wording you'd have preferred, but she was doing her job! What would you have preferred she'd said in the 10mins she gets per patient? Its barely enough time to adequately do a full smear test including checks and explaining everything to patients.

MouseMama · 15/04/2025 21:44

I try to mention to nurses that I find smear tests stressful and ask that if they have any comments on my body, cervix etc that we save those until the procedure has finished and I’m dressed. You shouldn’t be embarrassed about vaginal discharge I think it varies a lot and it’s just what’s normal for your body.

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